She won't sign the papers

[quikslvrgrl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
We're in virginia. I had been dating my fiance for some time when he had gotten in trouble with a dui and did some time. He broke up with me thinking I wouldn't be there for him all the while getting conned into a relationship with his now wife. After getting out of jail and getting back together she suceeded in breaking us up several times with several scams and cons resulting in them getting married. They've been married for 2 yrs now but they've only been together for a couple months all together. She even told him she was pregnant and she had had a hysterectomy several years prior. He's a sucker for kids and she used her to keep him. He doesn't have any biological ones. Anyway, after this last time he had enough and was adament about getting divorced. We've been back together for a little over a year and a half and they only contact he had had with her was when they first seperated and she told him she wanted a divorce so that she could move on with her life. Well, we finally got the money up to start but we couldn't find her. We sent the papers to her po box and wished for the best. Rumor had it she had gotten them and she didn't want to sign then because she still loved him. He wants out. Well, he got a call from her daughter asking him to talk to her mother and so he went. This was like 12 o'clock at night. She never told him she actually got the papers but she made references to them. They talked for several hours and since it was so late and it had been raining he spent the night on her couch. I believe him whole heartedly when he says that nothing happened. However, she told him that she would say that he stayed there. My question is does he have to start all over again with waiting for the divorce. He doesn't live with her. We're planning on moving to the town next to us and start a family that should have been started already. He thought about just putting it in the paper instead of sending a sherriff to serve her papers because she's likely to lie. Like i said she the biggest con artist I have ever met. She even went to the looney bin just so she could get on disability so she would not have to work. She had previously lived off the check her daughter recieved from her daddy's death. We would really like to be rid of her. I need some advice.

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
We're in viriginia. I had been dating my fiance for some time when he had gotten in trouble with a dui and did some time. He broke up with me thinking I wouldn't be there for him all the while getting conned into a relationship with his now wife. After getting out of jail and getting back together she suceeded in breaking us up several times with several scams and cons resulting in them getting married. They've been married for 2 yrs now but they've only been together for a couple months all together. She even told him she was pregnant and she had had a hysterectomy several years prior. He's a sucker for kids and she used her to keep him. He doesn't have any biological ones. Anyway, after this last time he had enough and was adament about getting divorced. We've been back together for a little over a year and a half and they only contact he had had with her was when they first seperated and she told him she wanted a divorce so that she could move on with her life. Well, we finally got the money up to start but we couldn't find her. We sent the papers to her po box and wished for the best. Rumor had it she had gotten them and she didn't want to sign then because she still loved him. He wants out. Well, he got a call from her daughter asking him to talk to her mother and so he went. This was like 12 o'clock at night. She never told him she actually got the papers but she made refernces to them. They talked for several hours and since it was so late and it had been raining he spent the night on her couch. I believe him whole heartedly when he says that nothing happened. However, she told him that she would say that he stayed there. My question is does he have to start all over again with waiting for the divorce. He doesn't live with her. We're planning on moving to the town next to us and start a family that should have been started already. He thought about just putting it in the paper instead of sending a sherriff to serve her papers because she's likely to lie. Like i said she the biggest con artist I have ever met. She even went to the looney bin just so she could get on disability so she would not have to work. She had previously lived off the check her daughter recieved from her daddy's death. We would really liek to be rid of her. I need some advice.

**A: and what advice do you want?

 

[Silverplum]

**A: and what advice do you want?

Maybe we should start with the old adage that one cannot "be engaged to" a married person?

Yes, that sounds like a good place to start.

 

[quikslvrgrl]

And then there's the one that says, "just because you're married it still doesn't make you a wife and/or husband."

 

[mistoffolees]

And then there's the one that says, "just because you're married it still doesn't make you a wife and/or husband."

You're on a site for legal advice. The fact that he's married DOES make him a husband.

 

[quikslvrgrl]

Advice?

Is he going to have to wait another 6 months? Or will the judge understand that they aren't together?

 

[mistoffolees]

Is he going to have to wait another 6 months? Or will the judge understand that they aren't together?

You don't have any legal standing in the matter. When you get involved with a married man, it's messy.

 

[quikslvrgrl]

?

You people are unbelieveable. It is a site for free LEGAL advice not tell someone how to live their life. All I want to know is if he is going to have to wait or does he have a good chance of getting rid of her if he proceeds right now. Whether or not I choose to be with him is frankly none of your business. I was with him first therefore I have every right to be involved. We were together long enough to be common law before she stuck her nose in something it didn't belong. If I wanted dating advice I'd ask my friends. So, if you can answer my question please do so. If not keep your opinions to yourself because honestly you don't know the whole situation. Plus until you're in someone else shoes you are absolutely clueless.

 

[cyjeff]

You people are unbelieveable. It is a site for free LEGAL advice not tell someone how to live their life. All I want to know is if he is going to have to wait or does he have a good chance of getting rid of her if he proceeds right now. Whether or not I choose to be with him is frankly none of your business. I was with him first therefore I have every right to be involved. We were together long enough to be common law before she stuck her nose in something it didn't belong. If I wanted dating advice I'd ask my friends. So, if you can answer my question please do so. If not keep your opinions to yourself because honestly you don't know the whole situation. Plus until you're in someone else shoes you are absolutely clueless.

Sorry... I didn't know the legal adage that said if you staked a claim first on a man that then you had a legal right to him from then forward.

I guess I have to call that little red haired girl in kindergarten.

Back to your legal question...I think.

Are you asking if the one night he spent on her couch reset the "living apart" clock? If so, then no, it didn't.

 

[mistoffolees]

You people are unbelieveable. It is a site for free LEGAL advice not tell someone how to live their life. All I want to know is if he is going to have to wait or does he have a good chance of getting rid of her if he proceeds right now. Whether or not I choose to be with him is frankly none of your business. I was with him first therefore I have every right to be involved. We were together long enough to be common law before she stuck her nose in something it didn't belong. If I wanted dating advice I'd ask my friends. So, if you can answer my question please do so. If not keep your opinions to yourself because honestly you don't know the whole situation. Plus until you're in someone else shoes you are absolutely clueless.

The fact that we don't know the whole situation is precisely why we won't answer your question. One of the rules on this board is that the person(s) involved must post directly, not through third parties. There are too many unknowns with third parties so we need to know the details from the person involved.

What you're asking is for a hypothetical answer to a hypothetical question that you can't even define. That's a waste of everyone's time.

When you have a real legal question to which you are the relevant person, you'll likely get a real answer.

 

[quikslvrgrl]

The end

Thank you cyjeff. Appreciate the answer. And well you the other one. I have no clue how you work your relationships but since it is a joint thing in our household what's relevant to him is also relevant to me. So, technically I am going through it whether by choice or by circumstance. So until you get your head unstuck maybe you ought not to give any advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you cyjeff. Appreciate the answer. And well you the other one. I have no clue how you work your relationships but since it is a joint thing in our household what's relevant to him is also relevant to me. So, technically I am going through it whether by choice or by circumstance. So until you get your head unstuck maybe you ought not to give any advice.

Maybe you need to back off because LEGALLY you have no dog in your married boyfriend's fight. Though if wifey wanted to cause issues she can sue him for divorce on the grounds of adultery.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you cyjeff. Appreciate the answer. And well you the other one. I have no clue how you work your relationships but since it is a joint thing in our household what's relevant to him is also relevant to me. So, technically I am going through it whether by choice or by circumstance. So until you get your head unstuck maybe you ought not to give any advice.

You may be going through it, but that doesn't give you any LEGAL standing. What part of that don't you understand?

 

[Silverplum]

Maybe you need to back off because LEGALLY you have no dog in your married boyfriend's fight. Though if wifey wanted to cause issues she can sue him for divorce on the grounds of adultery.

I think Dimbelina stumbled onto FA by mistake. She's looking for Springer or Dr. Phil, down the hall, on the left by the condom dispenser.

 

[quikslvrgrl]

Nah

I honestly don't think she really wants to take that route since she herself is living with 2 men (who she's had previous relationships with.) Plus he's got witnesses to her physically assaulting him the last time they were together. So, like I said I had just wanted an answer to my question which I got. Thanks to someone who can stick to what is actually asked.