In Shock--What to Do?

[RobertG]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Right now, I'm quite speechless, but I think I need to ask some questions.

My wife, a Russian, and I have been married for just over a year. She recently obtained her green card due to our marriage. She is currently back in Russia visiting family.

Last week, I called her and she indicated that she wants me to consider divorcing her. I was very upset, of course, as I love her more than life itself. I've been trying to figure out what I've done wrong and how to get her back here to work things out.

Today, I happened to see some pictures on our roommate's laptop (our roommate is her best friend). In fact, I found about 250 pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend. Apparently, all of the Sunday shopping trips (her day off) she's been taking have been trips with her ex-boyfriend to the beach, on cruises, and even shopping sometimes. The beach pictures show that they are a lot more than just friends.

I am so furious right now that i can hardly think. Whatever happens, I want it to be as detrimental to her as possible (ie, not get off easy at all). I'd like suggestions of what would do the most damage to her, including the possibility of jail time.

Here are some facts:

1) She got her green card 1 month ago, based on our marriage. Right off the bat, we have to stay married for 2 more years for it to be valid. I doubt that's going to happen. She would have to prove that the marriage is bona-fide if she has any way to avoid the 2-year requirement.

2) I just finished spending about $10000 on rebuilding her mouth (dental work) because Russian dentistry is so bad. I will be paying on this for at least the next 4 years.

3) She is currently in Russia, on a trip visiting her parents. She's supposed to come back next month, although she was telling me during the divorce discussion that she wants to stay in Russia longer. As of today, her official ticket dates have not changed.

4) Before she left for Russia, she spent a LOT of money purchasing gifts for friends back home. Money that is on her personal credit cards (my name is not on them).

5) Last year, when it was time to do taxes, she admitted to me that she allowed "some girl friend" to borrow her SSN to use to get a job because the person was an illegal. I gave her one hell of a lecture about it. We filed separately, as I didn't want her legal problems to affect my life. I suspect that the person was actually the boyfriend--not "some girl friend."

6) Please don't laugh or make any hurtful remarks, please--this is a very sensitive and sore subject with me: the marriage was never consummated. I know it was a sign and everything--I don't want to hear about it....

7) I intend to get some recorded conversation between us where we discuss the situation. The call last week had some very incriminating evidence in it, but I have no recording of it, because I was not expecting any problems.

8) Our roommate is also an illegal and she has 100% knowledge of what is going on--she was the one holding the camera. I intend to make her stay in America shorter than she expects, also.

9) Her current job employs at least one other illegal. They were also in on it, because a) her boss was at our wedding, and b) from the pictures, it's very clear that her boss knows about her boyfriend.

10) Based on the date stamps of the pictures, and the clothing that she was wearing, all of the pictures are recent.

11) Our roommate has a job--she's employed and is illegal. I should turn them in, too, I think.

Another idea I have--the ultimate revenge would be that she be deported and her boyfriend stays here. Sure, he could go back, but I don't think he will. 11,000 miles of distance between the two would be good revenge...

So, what exactly should I do? Wait for her to return to America? Contact the SSA? Definitely, I need to contact the INS, but when would be the proper timing? Contact the INS about her boyfriend? Honestly, I really would like to have her back here so I can severely grill her about what she's done and make her feel like the poor excuse of a person that she is. THEN, have them come and get her. I'm also concerned that she may try to run when she gets back to America if I don't keep my cool long enough to get her back here.

I really never wanted to have to do anything to hurt her. I love her (or at least I did). Right now, I hate her because she's putting me in the position where I have to do this to her!

Thoughts?

 

[stealth2]

Well, ya know.... when you use one of those "foreign bride" facebooks/datebooks, you kinda get what you pay for. I honestly have less sympathy for men who think they can effectively buy a pretty and compliant woman from another country than I do for the women who feel they have no other option than to whore themselves out to a (what is to them) rich foreigner.

Personally, I think you should consider this an expensive lesson learned and move on. Revenge is never as sweet as you think it is.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Right now, I'm quite speechless, but I think I need to ask some questions.

My wife, a Russian, and I have been married for just over a year. She recently obtained her green card due to our marriage. She is currently back in Russia visiting family.

Last week, I called her and she indicated that she wants me to consider divorcing her. I was very upset, of course, as I love her more than life itself. I've been trying to figure out what I've done wrong and how to get her back here to work things out.

Today, I happened to see some pictures on our roommate's laptop (our roommate is her best friend). In fact, I found about 250 pictures of her and her ex-boyfriend. Apparently, all of the Sunday shopping trips (her day off) she's been taking have been trips with her ex-boyfriend to the beach, on cruises, and even shopping sometimes. The beach pictures show that they are a lot more than just friends.

I am so furious right now that i can hardly think. Whatever happens, I want it to be as detrimental to her as possible (ie, not get off easy at all). I'd like suggestions of what would do the most damage to her, including the possibility of jail time.

You've GOT to be kidding!

Here are some facts:

1) She got her green card 1 month ago, based on our marriage. Right off the bat, we have to stay married for 2 more years for it to be valid. I doubt that's going to happen. She would have to prove that the marriage is bona-fide if she has any way to avoid the 2-year requirement.

That IS NOT the case. READ Form I-751.

2) I just finished spending about $10000 on rebuilding her mouth (dental work) because Russian dentistry is so bad. I will be paying on this for at least the next 4 years.

I'm sure she appreciates that.

3) She is currently in Russia, on a trip visiting her parents. She's supposed to come back next month, although she was telling me during the divorce discussion that she wants to stay in Russia longer. As of today, her official ticket dates have not changed.

So what?

4) Before she left for Russia, she spent a LOT of money purchasing gifts for friends back home. Money that is on her personal credit cards (my name is not on them).

If you are a co-maker to those cards, your name is on them.

5) Last year, when it was time to do taxes, she admitted to me that she allowed "some girl friend" to borrow her SSN to use to get a job because the person was an illegal. I gave her one hell of a lecture about it. We filed separately, as I didn't want her legal problems to affect my life. I suspect that the person was actually the boyfriend--not "some girl friend."

6) Please don't laugh or make any hurtful remarks, please--this is a very sensitive and sore subject with me: the marriage was never consummated. I know it was a sign and everything--I don't want to hear about it....

You should have married an American and really got a screwing.

7) I intend to get some recorded conversation between us where we discuss the situation. The call last week had some very incriminating evidence in it, but I have no recording of it, because I was not expecting any problems.

8) Our roommate is also an illegal and she has 100% knowledge of what is going on--she was the one holding the camera. I intend to make her stay in America shorter than she expects, also.

9) Her current job employs at least one other illegal. They were also in on it, because a) her boss was at our wedding, and b) from the pictures, it's very clear that her boss knows about her boyfriend.

10) Based on the date stamps of the pictures, and the clothing that she was wearing, all of the pictures are recent.

11) Our roommate has a job--she's employed and is illegal. I should turn them in, too, I think.

I think you should re-think the whole situation.

Another idea I have--the ultimate revenge would be that she be deported and her boyfriend stays here. Sure, he could go back, but I don't think he will. 11,000 miles of distance between the two would be good revenge...

You aren't going to get her deported unless she committed provable fraud. Guess who is on the hook to pay for deportation proceedings should that happen? Think about it.

So, what exactly should I do? Wait for her to return to America? Contact the SSA? Definitely, I need to contact the INS, but when would be the proper timing? Contact the INS about her boyfriend? Honestly, I really would like to have her back here so I can severely grill her about what she's done and make her feel like the poor excuse of a person that she is. THEN, have them come and get her. I'm also concerned that she may try to run when she gets back to America if I don't keep my cool long enough to get her back here.

The INS couldn't care less if she was banging half the people in the state of Florida.

I really never wanted to have to do anything to hurt her. I love her (or at least I did). Right now, I hate her because she's putting me in the position where I have to do this to her!

Thoughts?

I suggest you do alot more research before you attempt some of the things you have stated here.

 

[RobertG]

Well, ya know.... when you use one of those "foreign bride" facebooks/datebooks, you kinda get what you pay for. I honestly have less sympathy for men who think they can effectively buy a pretty and compliant woman from another country than I do for the women who feel they have no other option than to whore themselves out to a (what is to them) rich foreigner.

Personally, I think you should consider this an expensive lesson learned and move on. Revenge is never as sweet as you think it is.

First of all, I did not bring her to America. She was already here for 2 years before we met. She did overstay her visa, which she initially hid from me. She was new to Florida, but had resided in Chicago for 2 years before she moved down here. And, I didn't look for a "foreign bride." I was looking for a normal, sweet, loving girlfriend (and eventually wife) to build a future with. Her being Russian concerned me, but she was able to reassure me that everything was fine (so I thought).

 

[RobertG]

I suggest you do alot more research before you attempt some of the things you have stated here.

I have already spoken to the INS and with the evidence I have, there is a very good case against her for proving marriage fraud.

As for deportation costs, at this point, I'll be happy to spend every last dime that I have in order to give her what she deserves (and take away what she doesn't).

And, no--I am not a co-maker on any of her credit cards.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have already spoken to the INS and with the evidence I have, there is a very good case against her for proving marriage fraud.

As for deportation costs, at this point, I'll be happy to spend every last dime that I have in order to give her what she deserves (and take away what she doesn't).

And, no--I am not a co-maker on any of her credit cards.

Marriage fraud involves TWO people. So if she was committing fraud then so were you. And the DHS (Department of Homeland Security) can go after both of you. You should start looking for a good criminal lawyer.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

May be a stupid question her, but if the marriage wasn't consummated, can it be annulled as opposed to a divorce?

 

[Ohiogal]

May be a stupid question her, but if the marriage wasn't consummated, can it be annulled as opposed to a divorce?

I want to know how they passed the initial interview if the marriage wasn't consummated. It may be able to be annulled but if she says it was consummated and he says it wasn't -- how do you prove that?

 

[Bali Hai]

I want to know how they passed the initial interview if the marriage wasn't consummated. It may be able to be annulled but if she says it was consummated and he says it wasn't -- how do you prove that?

I personally know people in which the DHS waived both interviews.

Interviews are reserved for cases where overwhelming evidence of the validity of the marriage under DHS regulations don't exist.

(Rumor) It also depends on how each field office treats cases in general and their case load.

 

[Ohiogal]

I personally know people in which the DHS waived both interviews.

Interviews are reserved for cases where overwhelming evidence of the validity of the marriage under DHS regulations don't exist.

(Rumor) It also depends on how each field office treats cases in general and their case load.

This must have changed recently.

 

[RobertG]

We had an interview, which went very smoothly. They never asked....

As for me being part of marriage fraud, I had every intention for this marriage to work and be permanent. And, our lack of consummation of the marriage has been a very big problem in our relationship, to say the least. I married her to start a family and build a future for both of us. NOT for her green card. As far as I was concerned, she needed her green card in order for our relationship to survive (otherwise she'd need to go home and she could not come back for 10 years).

 

[Ohiogal]

We had an interview, which went very smoothly. They never asked....

As for me being part of marriage fraud, I had every intention for this marriage to work and be permanent. And, our lack of consummation of the marriage has been a very big problem in our relationship, to say the least. I married her to start a family and build a future for both of us. NOT for her green card. As far as I was concerned, she needed her green card in order for our relationship to survive (otherwise she'd need to go home and she could not come back for 10 years).

Again prove her intent. You say you never intended to commit fraud but you can prove that she committed marital fraud. Well guess what -- its like I already said. IT TAKES TWO TO HAVE A FRAUDULENT MARRIAGE!