Should I get a divorce lawyer? Help?

[guitarjeff]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? My state is California. I am going down to court today and file papers to start my Divorce after 16 years, I have 2 kids, twins , both are 12 years old. Two weeks ago we agreed not to get lawyers involved in this divorce, my wife was involved in an auto accident and has money in the bank from a personal injury law suit she won that we both share in joint bank account. I told her if lawyers are involved that money will be gone. We also own a house together. Yesterday she said she got a lawyer and will be serving me papers. She is asking for a copy of my Pension retirement and talking about Alimony. I told her shes making a mistake getting lawyers involved. I am filing divorce papers today anyway.My question is, since she does not work and hasn't for some time now, should I also go find a lawyer now to protect myself. I am afraid now that I am going to get shafted, I want to protect my pension. I told her she can have the house just leave my pension alone. I also said she can have the money in the bank but I should not have to pay for any Alimony. I advised her we should look into getting a mediator to help negotiate these issues in our divorce also. I need some advice, Should I try to file first? Does it matter and can I refuse if someone tries to serve me papers until I file first?
I have never gone through this before. I am looking for all the advice I can get. Thanks for all your help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

It really doesn't matter who files first.

If she has an attorney, I would suggest that you get one, as well. Since pension and alimony are involved, the expense of NOT having a lawyer may be very high, particularly in CA.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? My state is California. I am going down to court today and file papers to start my Divorce after 16 years, I have 2 kids, twins , both are 12 years old. Two weeks ago we agreed not to get lawyers involved in this divorce, my wife was involved in an auto accident and has money in the bank from a personal injury law suit she won that we both share in joint bank account. I told her if lawyers are involved that money will be gone. We also own a house together. Yesterday she said she got a lawyer and will be serving me papers. She is asking for a copy of my Pension retirement and talking about Alimony. I told her shes making a mistake getting lawyers involved. I am filing divorce papers today anyway.My question is, since she does not work and hasn't for some time now, should I also go find a lawyer now to protect myself. I am afraid now that I am going to get shafted, I want to protect my pension. I told her she can have the house just leave my pension alone. I also said she can have the money in the bank but I should not have to pay for any Alimony. I advised her we should look into getting a mediator to help negotiate these issues in our divorce also. I need some advice, Should I try to file first? Does it matter and can I refuse if someone tries to serve me papers until I file first?
I have never gone through this before. I am looking for all the advice I can get. Thanks for all your help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

You need an attorney. However, you should be aware that the personal injury settlement money is possibly going to be considered to be her separate property, even if it happens to be deposited in a joint account.

Generally, that kind of money is intended to cover ongoing expenses related to her injuries.

Sit down and make a list of all assets and debts and work from there. If you can come to an agreement that divides marital assets equally, and still leaves you with your full pension, then that will work for you.