Should I Sign??

[lovemykids]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY After going back & forth trying to negotiate an agreement my husband in the middle of it filed on grounds of constructive abandonment (unfounded). We had a 4-way meeting with the lawyers to avoid court but I feel that my lawyer persuaded me to submit to my husband's demands to be done with the case. My goal was to remain in the marital residence with the children (I've been a stay at home mom since their births 5,7&10 and their sole care giver), but the agreement states that the house must be sold after 1 year. I have residential custody of the children. I'm so disgusted with my lawyer and feel that I'm being screwed. What are the odds of a judge allowing me to stay?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by lovemykids

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY After going back & forth trying to negotiate an agreement my husband in the middle of it filed on grounds of constructive abandonment (unfounded). We had a 4-way meeting with the lawyers to avoid court but I feel that my lawyer persuaded me to submit to my husband's demands to be done with the case. My goal was to remain in the marital residence with the children (I've been a stay at home mom since their births 5,7&10 and their sole care giver), but the agreement states that the house must be sold after 1 year. I have residential custody of the children. I'm so disgusted with my lawyer and feel that I'm being screwed. What are the odds of a judge allowing me to stay?

Pretty good if you get a job, refinance the house and pay over his equity to him.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by lovemykids

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY After going back & forth trying to negotiate an agreement my husband in the middle of it filed on grounds of constructive abandonment (unfounded). We had a 4-way meeting with the lawyers to avoid court but I feel that my lawyer persuaded me to submit to my husband's demands to be done with the case. My goal was to remain in the marital residence with the children (I've been a stay at home mom since their births 5,7&10 and their sole care giver), but the agreement states that the house must be sold after 1 year. I have residential custody of the children. I'm so disgusted with my lawyer and feel that I'm being screwed. What are the odds of a judge allowing me to stay?

If you cannot qualify for a mortgage for enough to cover the existing mortgage, plus buy out your husband's share of the equity in the home, then there is virtually no chance that a judge will order that you get to keep the home.

The judge won't order your husband to leave his credit tied up for the next 12 years and won't leave you in possession without you being responsible for the mortgage.

A judge would sign off on that if you and your husband agreed to it, but obviously he doesn't.

[weenor]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Pretty good if you get a job, refinance the house and pay over his equity to him.

Oh no!! not a job...why or why the kids have just turned school age....and there are so many episodes of Oprah left unwatched.

[lovemykids]

After not viewing this site for over 1 1/2 yrs, I come across this tread in response to my issue. Well a lot has happened since Jan. 06, still battling in court with the sociopath and incompetent lawyer, but every time, the loser bats a big fat zero. I'm appauled that idiots like "weenor" have nothing better to do that make a$$wipe comments. What comes around, goes around.

[Ohiogal]

So did you sell the house?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

So did you sell the house?

And how is work going?

[lovemykids]

Well, since my ex didn't honor so many obligations stipulated in the separation agreement (financial concerning the house) and in constant contempt of a mediation agreement entered into a court order, I am taking over the mortgage. As for work? I have always worked throughout the marraige, out of my house. Put my children in daycare? There is no kind of "daycare" here. There is prescchool (2 days a wk for 3 hrs a day). It's a very rural area. Most of the women here need to stay home to raise their children. And, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's called maternal instinct. So, I busted my a$$ and took care of the children and everything else. A LITTLE help would have been greatly appreciated, but all I heard was "you wanted them, you take care of them".
It's very bothersome that people (some quite desperate) enter this site for some sound advice or understanding, not sarcasm.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by lovemykids

Well, since my ex didn't honor so many obligations stipulated in the separation agreement (financial concerning the house) and in constant contempt of a mediation agreement entered into a court order, I am taking over the mortgage. As for work? I have always worked throughout the marraige, out of my house. Put my children in daycare? There is no kind of "daycare" here. There is prescchool (2 days a wk for 3 hrs a day). It's a very rural area. Most of the women here need to stay home to raise their children. And, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's called maternal instinct. So, I busted my a$$ and took care of the children and everything else. A LITTLE help would have been greatly appreciated, but all I heard was "you wanted them, you take care of them".
It's very bothersome that people (some quite desperate) enter this site for some sound advice or understanding, not sarcasm.

Neither you nor I have any control over how credit works or what a credit score consists of. The financial markets dictate that.

The simple fact is that one needs to work (or have a big trust fund income!) to qualify for a mortgage. And because an open mortgage negatively impacts the co-borrowers credit for the duration of the loan, it is no longer feasable to keep a mortgage in place post divorce for so many years.

Women who work also have "maternal instincts" . Your choice to stay home is just that, a choice. If you have a way to do that without imposing on someone else, fine. But many wonderful, accomplished, caring kids have been raised by working moms. Including MY husband, whose dad died just before he was born, and whose mom worked..