son in the miitary needs divorce advice

[suzipeg]

My son is from Minnesota (legal resident) he is stationed in North Carolina--where and how does he file for a divorce? He needs help asap!! No kids--only married a year. Please help! Thanks

 

[cyana]

Suggest he check with his base's legal ...

unit for what he has to do. There are websites with specifics on obtaining military divorces. Happy surfing!

 

[cyana]

Further info...

...www.divorcenet.com has a lot of info on obtaining military divorces.

 

[TIBY2KJD]

I'm active military in GA. There are a few things that he can do but they all involve an attorney. A do-it-yourself divorce in the south is not a safe move. As for the base/post legal office, they're only support would be advice to your son.
Have him find an attorney that has reasonable rates for an uncontested divorce. Since he's stationed in NC I assume that his wife is with him? If not, then she could file for the divorce wherever she's living or if your son initiates, he can file in NC. I would suggest to him that since he's military to initiate in NC. This will preclude him having to travel and be away from work in an "on leave" status. Things like this tend to eat away leave days and then when he needs it he's stuck without available days. Hope this helps!!!

 

[Whyte Noise]

TIBY2JKD

South Georgia? MCLSBA or Ft. Benning.......?? Just curious as I'm from South Georgia too.

 

[TIBY2KJD]

MissouriGal

I'm stationed at Moody AFB in Valdosta,GA. Like I said, and trust me I've been there, the base legal office offers no help what so ever. They can give you advice but that's it. They will not, and can not, get involved in a civil matter. They left me high and dry and I ended up spending $3,000 on my divorce and now another $1200 for the change of custody. Look out when it comes to GA and the divorce laws....they SUCK!!!!

I wonder where the original poster is? and what's up with her son.

 

[suzipeg]

Hi, I am still here and I thank-you for the advice so far!! My son is kind of in limbo, he really doesn't have any spare time to seek out help and doesn't want to tell anyone on base yet. This is a terrible time for him, he is a wreck--considering he joined the army for his wife,--to provide a better future for her and now he wants out, he just wants to come home. Does anyone know if he will lose his marriage allotment if he moves to the barracks, but stays married? He can't afford to stay where he is. Also, does anyone know what would happen to him if he goes awol? (I am very afraid he will just take off) He is truly an emotional wreck, Thanks!

 

[TIBY2KJD]

Thanks for the update Mom.
Yes, if he gets divorced he will, depending on his rank, have to move into the barracks. From what I can figure, he's new to the military and probably an E-1 or E-2 at best. That's not a bad thing. Even if he does lose his "married entitlement" he can still save some $$$$$$.

As for going AWOL; not only will he have a divorce to worry about but there's a place called Levenworth that he'll have to contend with. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....advise him not to go AWOL. He will end up having military punishment brought against him. He signed an enlistment and he has to serve that, or he can go about getting out the proper way. At best he'll receive an Article 15 (non-judicial punishment and loss of rank) and at worst a prison sentence at Levenworth. Now, with that being said, he does have a first sergeant who can help him, as well as a chaplain on post. I have a DSN or military system phone number and he can call me to talk about this. I've been in the Air Force 14 years and would truly hate to see another member of my military family go down because of a relationship gone bad. How old is your son? Email me privately at [email protected] and I'll give you the number. Again, please let him know that he need not be embarassed about what he's going through and there are people out here who care and will help him.

I re-married, after 4 years of being divorced, just 3 weeks ago and I'm looking at a 6 month deployment very soon. I know stress and how to deal with it.

Any and all help that I can offer your son I'll be more than glad to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hang in there Mom and all will work out!!!!

 

[usmcfamily]

Your son needs to go to the chaplaincy and explain everything that is going on -- they will get the ball rolling to get him whatever help he needs (information, moving into the barracks, etc) and can help him work with his command to get things done. The ARMY is not required to provide billeting (barracks rooms) for married personnel but most typically as long as there is space available they will allow him to live in the barracks. This is where it gets tricky - he may be able to be considered a "geographical bachelor" so long as he is still married which allows the military member to live in the barracks but still draw BAH (housing allowance)...the geo. bachelor is actually a loophole that is meant to serve members who are not able to have their family join them yet and need to support them living in another location but in a separation situation it can be applied....once he is divorced, though, he will no longer qualify to draw BAH while living in the barracks......however, once he attains a certain rank (varies by branch and command but typically E-4) he can apply for dispensation allowing him to draw the unmarried rate of BAH and live in a place of his own.
Most importantly in speaking with the chaplain they can explain to him the things he can face if he does go AWOL. If he has a trusted fellow soldier or SNCO he needs to tell them he needs help. This (his current marital issues) will not hurt his career but going AWOL will. His chances of getting out of the contract are not good - and if he did it would be on an "other than honorable discharge" which will haunt him for the rest of his life when he seeks employment in the civillian world.......he really needs to just buckle down and finish his current enlistment -- once he is no longer dealing with his marital issues he might actually find himself enjoying being in the ARMY -- he can either get out at the end of the contract he is currently under or he may choose to stay in...........
PLEASE stress to him that his command is there to help him.......he needs to ask for help and get things straightened out......

 

[reno23]

Dear Mom,

Please explain to your son that going AWOL is NOT the answer. I suspect your son is in his early 20's? The divorce might take a little while but a mandatory stay in Leavenworth will be alot longer. I went through a divorce while I was in the Army. It was a difficult time but it didn't hurt my status in the eyes of my Commander. The military would rather have a divorced soldier than a soldier serving time in Leavenworth. The best thing for him to do is just find an attorney, get his divorce and serve his time with the military. They have a good strong support group with the the chaplain service. Even if he's not too religious. I actually enjoyed the Service after my Divorce. Good luck and remind him it will get better. Once he has finished with the military he will have some good VA Benefits. Then again these are just my opinions. How are you both doing?