+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    james2311 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    3

    Soon to be ex military spouse...can she kick me out just because?

    First, allow me to explain the current situation. My wife is active duty army since 2006, and I am former military since 2003. We have been married 10 years and have 2 children...4 and 8 and have been here at Fort Campbell, KY since Jan 2007. In the beginning of 2008, she deployed to the middle east, and we agreed that I would stay home and take care of the kids while she was gone. It was a challenge, beccause for the 4 years prior, I had been a civilian contractor working in the middle east. My wife returned in early 2009 and shortly after, I found out that she had been having an affair while she was deployed. Of course, I was hurt and angry, even more so because her chain of command knew about it and covered it up. We agreed to try and work past it, but things haven't gone that way. We became more like roomates rather than husband and wife, and the anger and hurt hasn't gone away. Since she's been back, I have been unable to find work, and I suspect that she despises me for it. Regardless, a few months ago, I asked her what exactly was happening between us...distant, bickering, avoiding each other, etc. and it boiled down to the fact that she wants a divorce. I agreed because we simply couldn't go on the way things were. I went the very next day to an army recruiter to re enlist, and though Im eligible, I needed to lose a few percent body fat. Since then, I've been doing it and Im very nearly there, but its not happening fast enough for her and she wants me out of the house ASAP. I've never done drugs, obviously, Im not a drunk, I've never laid a hand on herin anger, Im a good father, andeach day until I leave, I play Martha Stewart...the kids meals, laundry, cleaning, etc. Weve discussed the divorce and agreed that she gets physical custody, the car, the animals, all the furniture, and I will be the one to start over. I am fine with what we have agreed...its more for the kids well being than anyrhing else. We won't actually file until I have enlisted and away to wherever the Army sends me. Over the course of the last month, shes has made it clear that my enlistment goal isn't happening quikly enough, and has become snide and insulting about my employment status. Today, she gave me MY 2 week notice...to move out. Period.
    What are my rights here? Can she do that? She tells me that her chain of command keeps pressuring her to get rid of me, which I find fishy. If I try to fight it, she has hinted that the MP's (military police) would believe her over me and haul me away in shackles should she claim that I hit her, or some other ridiculously false claim, and I believe it, not only because I've seen it happen, but she is spiteful enough and wants me gone badly enough to do it. So what do I do? I am nearly there...myfinal goal is Nov 1st, but I just may be homeless by then, or in jail over a false abuse claim.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. #2
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,360
    You missed the part about the state ..

    But, your home is the MARITAL home. She can't just kick you out. A judge may order you out when someone files for divorce and she asks for exclusive use of the marital home.
  3. #3
    james2311 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    3

    re: State

    Sorry, but we're in Kentucky
  4. #4
    nemom3 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Omaha, Ne
    Posts
    57
    Are you renting or buying? Whose name is on the lease or mortgage?
    If you are renting and your name is on the lease (which I could almost bet it is with Mom having been gone the last year) she cannot throw you out. If you are buying she STILL can't throw you out! If your name is on the lease or mortgage make sure you fix that before you leave for the Army!

    Just one question here - why are you giving Mom custody, you are the one that spent the last year at home taking care of the kids. The myth that Mom should always have the kids is just that a MYTH! If you still think it would be in their best interests to stay with Mom, then make sure you have a decent visitation plan in place. I would recommend you cover all your bases - and advise it would be a good idea to talk to a lawyer before you leave. You do not necessarily want her to be able to file anything while you are unable to attend court (i.e. in basic or tech school) and you do not want her saying you abandoned your children.
    Last edited by nemom3; 10-05-2009 at 07:29 AM.
  5. #5
    TinkerBelleLuvr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    With Capt'n Hook
    Posts
    11,360
    Quote Originally Posted by nemom3 View Post
    Are you renting or buying? Whose name is on the lease or mortgage?
    If you are renting and your name is on the lease (which I could almost bet it is with Mom having been gone the last year) she cannot throw you out. If you are buying she STILL can't throw you out! If your name is on the lease or mortgage make sure you fix that before you leave for the Army!
    Does NOT matter. It is the marital home. She cannot just unilaterally kick him out. A JUDGE could order him out, but she can't just kick him out.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,699
    Quote Originally Posted by nemom3 View Post
    Are you renting or buying? Whose name is on the lease or mortgage?
    If you are renting and your name is on the lease (which I could almost bet it is with Mom having been gone the last year) she cannot throw you out. If you are buying she STILL can't throw you out! If your name is on the lease or mortgage make sure you fix that before you leave for the Army!

    Just one question here - why are you giving Mom custody, you are the one that spent the last year at home taking care of the kids. The myth that Mom should always have the kids is just that a MYTH! If you still think it would be in their best interests to stay with Mom, then make sure you have a decent visitation plan in place. I would recommend you cover all your bases - and advise it would be a good idea to talk to a lawyer before you leave. You do not necessarily want her to be able to file anything while you are unable to attend court (i.e. in basic or tech school) and you do not want her saying you abandoned your children.
    His in enlisting. He will have to go through basic again. He cannot have custody of children while in basic...and perhaps not afterwards either depending on his assignment. That's why.
  7. #7
    nemom3 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Omaha, Ne
    Posts
    57
    Mom is also in the military... so his joining does not make a difference for custody. Mom has also been recently deployed. He needs to make sure he has protections in place so that if/when Mom is deployed again that he would get physical custody while she is gone (and she has same while he is deployed).
    Joining the military is not a reason to give custody of the kids to mom. He could ask for a provision that they stay with her while his is away.. and then they could go to him. The kids are going to be moving quite a bit anyway with BOTH parents active duty! From his original post it has only been a few years since he got out - there are exceptions so he may have a shortened basic training and tech school (that is if he is going into the same field as his previous enlistment).
    I was merely letting him know he has other options that include staying involved in his children's lives. It is great if parents can work things out but serving in the military should not disqualify EITHER parent from having custody and there are additional things that need to be addressed. If he is aware now and prepares himself it should be easier on the children (and Mom and Dad) later.
  8. #8
    james2311 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    3

    re;

    Thank you all for the advice and support. Please aloow me to clarify a couple of points....1st we live on post in gov't quarters, and 2nd, I'm giving her custody because I know that as soon as I re-enlist, I'll be shipped off to training, and because of the MOS I'll choose (EOD) most likely, I'll be in Afghanistan fast enough to make my head spin. On a lighter note, as of now, I'm on a diet of Ramen noodles because she keeps claiming she has no money, yet she comes home every other day brandishing a king-sized BK cup, claiming that one of her many 'friends' bought it for her, and other things that I halfway think she's doing intentionally to drive me out. I'm going to see my recruiter tomorrow to see where I stand--wish me luck!.

Similar Threads

  1. Military spouse
    By nps13 in forum Divorce, Separation & Annulment
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-13-2009, 03:22 PM
  2. How do you kick out an ex-spouse that lives in your house?
    By ajsautowash in forum Other Real Estate Law Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-07-2009, 02:07 AM
  3. Military Spouse
    By td1154 in forum Immigration
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-10-2008, 03:51 PM
  4. Ex-Military Spouse 12 yrs.
    By holmes1104 in forum Alimony & Spousal Support
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-08-2008, 11:21 AM
  5. Military spouse being harrassed by another spouse?Can I get a restraining order?
    By Enlisted in forum Other Crimes Federal and State
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-15-2001, 02:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.