Sposal Abandonment

[ohtennwalkerguy]

My wife of 23 years just walked out a few days ago leaving me here with my 12 year old son, no money, no phone, and no vehicle. Now she wants to come back in to take out her belongings including everything under the sun. I told her NO! Do I have the legal right to keep her out of the home in the State of Ohio? There has been no legal paperwork filed yet that I am aware of. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[mistoffolees]

My wife of 23 years just walked out a few days ago leaving me here with my 12 year old son, no money, no phone, and no vehicle. Now she wants to come back in to take out her belongings including everything under the sun. I told her NO! Do I have the legal right to keep her out of the home in the State of Ohio? There has been no legal paperwork filed yet that I am aware of. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Nope. It's her house as well as yours. She can come in whenever she wants and she can even move back in if she wants.

If there's to be a divorce, then one of you should file to get the ball rolling. That also gives you both protection. For example, if no divorce has been filed, she can spend as much money as she wishes. Once the divorce is filed, she can not dissipate assets - and is basically limited to using marital funds for living expenses and legal expenses. Once the divorce is filed, she can not dispose of any other marital property, either. She would be allowed to take her personal belongings with her, but probably not things like expensive artwork, etc. Also, once divorce is filed, your attorney can petition the court for temporary support while you're looking for a job.

Meanwhile, you need to get a job to support yourself. While you may get spousal support after 23 years, it's not going to cover all your living expenses. If she walked out on a 12 year old kid, that strengthens your position for custody, too. If you end up with primary physical custody, you are likely to receive child support, as well, but that's not going to pay the full cost of supporting a kid.

Bottom line, get a job and see an attorney. Your attorney will be able to work out a fee schedule - either being paid from marital assets or asking the court to have her pay.

 

[ohtennwalkerguy]

Spousal Abandonment

The house loan is in my name not hers because her credit was so bad. She's only on title not the loan and has never made a payment on the house. Plus she has been here 3 times already taking things out of the house. I think a restraining order might work until I can get the legal papers filed correct? Also I am in the house not her, she walked away. So I basically just lock the door when she shows up. My son is so upset he will not allow her in either. Also we have three horses. Two of them are hers and I gave her a letter to start charging her board because I cannot take care of them daily and feed them, plus work. And we really have no money in any bank account pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Also I do not have money for an attorney she took everything with her.

 

[LdiJ]

The house loan is in my name not hers because her credit was so bad. She's only on title not the loan and has never made a payment on the house. Plus she has been here 3 times already taking things out of the house. I think a restraining order might work until I can get the legal papers filed correct? Also I am in the house not her, she walked away. So I basically just lock the door when she shows up. My son is so upset he will not allow her in either. Also we have three horses. Two of them are hers and I gave her a letter to start charging her board because I cannot take care of them daily and feed them, plus work. And we really have no money in any bank account pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Also I do not have money for an attorney she took everything with her.

You are not understanding what we are saying. She has every right to enter the home, because she is an owner of the property and possession has not be awarded to you by a judge. It is completely irrelevant that you are the only person on the mortgage.

You have no basis at all for a restraining order.

You cannot lock her out of the house. You could try, but if she calls the police they will make you let her in.

You also cannot charge her board for keeping her horses, on her own property. You can require that she provide their feed and other necessities, but you cannot require that she pay board. In addition, if you don't feed them, you can be charged with the crime of animal neglect and cruelty, so please be careful there.

If you sell anything, or otherwise dissipate any marital assets, (and only do it for true neccessities) please make sure you do it at fair market value and that you keep excellent records, because you will be required to account for the assets or monies in your divorce.

 

[mistoffolees]

The house loan is in my name not hers because her credit was so bad. She's only on title not the loan and has never made a payment on the house. Plus she has been here 3 times already taking things out of the house. I think a restraining order might work until I can get the legal papers filed correct? Also I am in the house not her, she walked away. So I basically just lock the door when she shows up. My son is so upset he will not allow her in either. Also we have three horses. Two of them are hers and I gave her a letter to start charging her board because I cannot take care of them daily and feed them, plus work. And we really have no money in any bank account pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Also I do not have money for an attorney she took everything with her.

Read what I wrote. She has every right to be in the marital house.

It doesn't matter whose name is on the loan. She is married to you, so you can't keep her out.

Don't even think about a restraining order unless you can prove that she's a threat. "our son is upset with her" is not a legitimate reason for a restraining order. If you file for a restraining order and claim that she's a danger when she isn't, you're guilty of contempt.

Expecting her to pay board for her horses is just plain absurd. Yes, she is responsible for providing for their feed and normal living expenses, but you're not going to collect board charges from your wife.

As for the expense, you make a choice. You can either do nothing or you can get an attorney and get a divorce. With your crazy ideas about home ownership and so on, you can't do it on your own. So you need to find the money or find an attorney who will ask the court to take his fees out of marital assets.

In the end, you can choose to let your emotions run away with you - which isn't doing your son OR you any good, or you can step back and approach it rationally with the help of a good attorney.

 

[ohtennwalkerguy]

Abandonment

Apparently no one here is understanding my situation. She wants to "SELL" everything in the house by carting it off. She pays no bills here, and does not support or feed her horses. I'm the one caring for them not her. She left them like she left us, high and dry. I'm not a stupid person and know she is endangering her son by not leaving us a phone, cash, or vehicle should something tragic happen. You seriousily want me to believe a married spouse can walk off with no reprocussions? Are you really lawyers on here?
My first point would be calling my child a "KID". Do professionals usually speak like that? Not any that I have encountered. So if your not a professional then keep your comments to yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

Apparently no one here is understanding my situation. She wants to "SELL" everything in the house by carting it off. She pays no bills here, and does not support or feed her horses. I'm the one caring for them not her. She left them like she left us, high and dry. I'm not a stupid person and know she is endangering her son by not leaving us a phone, cash, or vehicle should something tragic happen. You seriousily want me to believe a married spouse can walk off with no reprocussions? Are you really lawyers on here?
My first point would be calling my child a "KID". Do professionals usually speak like that? Not any that I have encountered. So if your not a professional then keep your comments to yourself.

I would probably be in your best interest to get a consult with a local attorney. We are telling you the truth, but you obviously need to hear it from someone else.

You stated that you are working, how are you working without transportation? Get yourself a cell phone when you get your next paycheck.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Apparently no one here is understanding my situation. She wants to "SELL" everything in the house by carting it off. She pays no bills here, and does not support or feed her horses. I'm the one caring for them not her. She left them like she left us, high and dry. I'm not a stupid person and know she is endangering her son by not leaving us a phone, cash, or vehicle should something tragic happen. You seriousily want me to believe a married spouse can walk off with no reprocussions? Are you really lawyers on here? My first point would be calling my child a "KID". Do professionals usually speak like that? Not any that I have encountered. So if your not a professional then keep your comments to yourself.

You need to back up.

You came here asking for advice. You say you have no money and can't afford an attorney, so right now you're at the mercy of those who are willing to help you for free. If what they are advising you seems so out of synch with what you believe the law to be, I would remind you that if you really knew anything about the legalities of your problem you wouldn't need to come here in the first place.

You have been given correct information, regardless of what you expected to hear. You can be rude and stomp off and end up being a bigger victim than you already think you are, or you can apologize for your rudeness and graciously accept the assistance of those who might still be willing to help you and your son.

 

[mistoffolees]

Apparently no one here is understanding my situation. She wants to "SELL" everything in the house by carting it off. She pays no bills here, and does not support or feed her horses. I'm the one caring for them not her. She left them like she left us, high and dry. I'm not a stupid person and know she is endangering her son by not leaving us a phone, cash, or vehicle should something tragic happen. You seriousily want me to believe a married spouse can walk off with no reprocussions? Are you really lawyers on here?
My first point would be calling my child a "KID". Do professionals usually speak like that? Not any that I have encountered. So if your not a professional then keep your comments to yourself.

Perhaps if you bothered reading what people wrote instead of getting offended over silly things, you might get more benefit from this board. You've been given the same advice by at least 2 people and you insist that no one knows what they're talking about. If you already know everything and don't want to listen to anyone's advice, why are you here?

The fact is that the property is as much hers as it is yours. She can sell any marital personal property she wishes, although that puts money into her bank account and it remains marital property. She can not sell the house unless it is titled solely in her name.

Until one of you files for divorce, you have very little protection. Even after one of you files, you need to speak to an attorney and start supporting yourself. That fact that you don't like it is irrelevant.

As for endangering her son, you're going to dig yourself a huge hole that you won't be able to get out of. She left her son with a supposedly mature adult who has a job and should be able to support himself. If you're alleging that you are unable to provide a safe home for the son, she'll take advantage of that and you may lose custody simply because you're telling everyone that you're an incompetent parent.

Yes, she will likely have to pay some child support, but not until you get off your high horse and see an attorney.

 

[majomom1]

Apparently no one here is understanding my situation. She wants to "SELL" everything in the house by carting it off. She pays no bills here, and does not support or feed her horses. I'm the one caring for them not her. She left them like she left us, high and dry. I'm not a stupid person and know she is endangering her son by not leaving us a phone, cash, or vehicle should something tragic happen. You seriousily want me to believe a married spouse can walk off with no reprocussions? Are you really lawyers on here?
My first point would be calling my child a "KID". Do professionals usually speak like that? Not any that I have encountered. So if your not a professional then keep your comments to yourself.

A few days is not abandonment. And leaving your son - with you - is not endangering your child. You are an adult. You have a job. You have to step up and take care of him.

Yes. It all stinks, but the facts are the facts. You have no grounds to stop her from doing anything until you file in court. If she is removing, and selling, marital property, it won't look good in court. Make a list of everything and keep track of it all.

 

[ohtennwalkerguy]

Response

First of all if you read back you will see that I said I was "UNEMPLOYED" not employed. I was laid off, and then my job was totally terminated. I am a competant Father and would never consider leaving any of the 4 children I have. My youngest is the last one here at home now. I can understand getting upset and leaving but to disappear taking the cell phone, vehicle, and all our money is not right especially with my young son at home. How can you in good faith and morals support someone who ran out on their husband and child? And like I said I am keeping tab of everything she removes from the house. But I guess if she can't get in then there will be nothing taken. Thank you for your comments.

 

[majomom1]

First of all if you read back you will see that I said I was "UNEMPLOYED" not employed. I was laid off, and then my job was totally terminated. I am a competant Father and would never consider leaving any of the 4 children I have. My youngest is the last one here at home now. I can understand getting upset and leaving but to disappear taking the cell phone, vehicle, and all our money is not right especially with my young son at home. How can you in good faith and morals support someone who ran out on their husband and child? And like I said I am keeping tab of everything she removes from the house. But I guess if she can't get in then there will be nothing taken. Thank you for your comments.

No one here supports your STBX... I'm sure I can speak for most here, we all think she stinks.

But, this is not a "support" site.. this is a legal site. You can lock her out etc, but that won't hold up if she calls the police and it won't look any better to the court than what she has done.

Tit for tat is not the way to go...

 

[>Charlotte<]

How can you in good faith and morals support someone who ran out on their husband and child?

Nobody here is "supporting" your wife. You're just being told what the law says. If you think the law is fair or unjust, fine. But don't blame the people here who know how the law works and are trying to give you honest information.

I think your anger here is a bit misplaced. Nobody here "ran out" on you, and nobody here wrote the domestic relations laws in your state.

 

[ohtennwalkerguy]

Wrong!

The Sheriffs were just here with her. I explained to them that she had her personal belongings plus the list of everything else she has taken. She requested a few extra things (clothing) which the officer watched her take and she left. I told him this was her third visit to the house and he told me not to worry about her coming back that it was enough of her using the system. Apparently marital property CANNOT be taken out of the house. What states do you all practice in???? Must not be Ohio. And for the last entry is has been a week since she left not a few days.

 

[ohtennwalkerguy]

Also

She doesn't have a bank account her credit and bad check writing will not allow her to have one. She sells the household items for CASH!!!!!! So there is no benefit to me for marital assets.