Spouse won't leave

[tllowery]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

After 9 years of off and on problems with a marriage that it seems like I am the only one that tries to make things work and grow our marriage.
I make the majority of the income because my spouse has chosen not to try to do anything but jump from job to job and not help in supporting our family.
When she is not working much or at all she will not even try to help with stuff around the house or with the kids.
She told me she wants to end it but refuses to leave a house that there is no way she can afford on her own.

I don't feel that it is my responsibility to have to pay rent on a house that she cant afford and a place of my own when I am the only one that has worked hard to better myself and to provide for my children.

My question is, how do I make her leave if I can. If I can't what options do I have? Should I move out and pull my name off the lease and let her get evicted?
Thanks,

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by tllowery

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

After 9 years of off and on problems with a marriage that it seems like I am the only one that tries to make things work and grow our marriage.
I make the majority of the income because my spouse has chosen not to try to do anything but jump from job to job and not help in supporting our family.
When she is not working much or at all she will not even try to help with stuff around the house or with the kids.
She told me she wants to end it but refuses to leave a house that there is no way she can afford on her own.

I don't feel that it is my responsibility to have to pay rent on a house that she cant afford and a place of my own when I am the only one that has worked hard to better myself and to provide for my children.

My question is, how do I make her leave if I can. If I can't what options do I have? Should I move out and pull my name off the lease and let her get evicted?
Thanks,

File for divorce and ask for possession of the house. Arranging for her to be evicted during the middle of a divorce proceeding is not a good idea.

At the same time, if you want the kids with you, ask for temporary custody.

She will likely ask for temporary support. With a 9 year marriage, you may end up with 'permanent' support which actually means a couple of years in most states) if your income is that much greater than hers. She may well ask for custody, as well, so you'll need to convince the court that it's better FOR THE KIDS to be with you rather than her. That's not easy to do - more and more states are going to joint legal and physical custody as a default when possible.

[tllowery]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

File for divorce and ask for possession of the house. Arranging for her to be evicted during the middle of a divorce proceeding is not a good idea.

At the same time, if you want the kids with you, ask for temporary custody.

She will likely ask for temporary support. With a 9 year marriage, you may end up with 'permanent' support which actually means a couple of years in most states) if your income is that much greater than hers. She may well ask for custody, as well, so you'll need to convince the court that it's better FOR THE KIDS to be with you rather than her. That's not easy to do - more and more states are going to joint legal and physical custody as a default when possible.

So permanent support is usually for a couple years and not till she chooses to get married or start living with someone then?

Is there a formula that the court uses to define how much support will be required and with joint custody will I be required to pay her child support on top of the spousal support?

Thanks

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by tllowery

So permanent support is usually for a couple years and not till she chooses to get married or start living with someone then?

Is there a formula that the court uses to define how much support will be required and with joint custody will I be required to pay her child support on top of the spousal support?

Thanks

You can look up a child support calculator for your state online. Child support usually follows a fairly standard calculation. Even with 50:50 physical custody, the person with the higher income may be paying child support to the other person.

Spousal support is less easy to predict and more variables go into it. Duration can vary, but for a marriage that's likely to hit 10 years before your divorce is final, it probably won't be more than 3 years unless she is disabled or otherwise unable to support herself. Spousal support typically ends when the other party remarries, but not when the other person moves in with someone. You can ask for that to be added to your decree and the court may do it, but it's hard to prove.

[tllowery]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

You can look up a child support calculator for your state online. Child support usually follows a fairly standard calculation. Even with 50:50 physical custody, the person with the higher income may be paying child support to the other person.

Spousal support is less easy to predict and more variables go into it. Duration can vary, but for a marriage that's likely to hit 10 years before your divorce is final, it probably won't be more than 3 years unless she is disabled or otherwise unable to support herself. Spousal support typically ends when the other party remarries, but not when the other person moves in with someone. You can ask for that to be added to your decree and the court may do it, but it's hard to prove.

She does have depression problems but she is working now so she is capible of working.
Thanks

[desk girl]

I've had experience in asking for "exclusive possession" in PA. We own our house, though, it's not a rental, as you indicated yours is. So I'm not sure if this would make a difference in your situation. But it was a huge waste of my money, time, and emotions. I lost that round of court. He was allowed to stay, and one year later will not leave the marital residence. I was told by 3 other local attorneys (after mine took my money to do this) that it's almost impossible to have this awarded. I have an acquaintance that is being physiclly abused and even she cannot have him removed, because of appeals, etc.
For your spousal support questions there are online calculators that can be a guide for you. And beware, in PA they are JUST a guide. If you left would you take the kids? Would she leave if you asked her to? There are a lot of questions that need to be answered. You need to start asking her some so you can get answers and start making plans.