Which state forms, atty do I need

[HolyCow]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I reside in Arizona and soon to be ex in North Carolina.
Received divorce papers last Saturday and I don't agree with what he is offering...uh, can we say nothing? Married in 2000, quit my job to raise his children, cashed in MY retirement when he was unemployed. He makes close to 150,000 or more per year and I currently make 26,000.

I would like to do a counter offer of some spousal support and other minor things but not sure if I get forms from NC since that is where he filed or if I can get the ones from Arizona and file them in NC?

Is it that difficult to file a response with the court? Will the judge let me do court hearing on telephone since I can not take time off of work to get to NC, let alone pay for a plane ticket..LOL

 

[nextwife]

Where was the marital residence? How long have you been in Arizona? Did he reside in AZ?

 

[HolyCow]

We were married in Oregon in 2000. His job took us to Colorado in 2001 and then Arizona in 2002. We lived here together till 2009. He took a job in NC and his children and I stayed in Arizona with the intent of moving out there after the school year was over. While Christmas shopping that year he met his now girlfriend.

Children stayed with me till Spring of last year then they moved on and so did I...

 

[mistoffolees]

We were married in Oregon in 2000. His job took us to Colorado in 2001 and then Arizona in 2002. We lived here together till 2009. He took a job in NC and his children and I stayed in Arizona with the intent of moving out there after the school year was over. While Christmas shopping that year he met his now girlfriend.

Children stayed with me till Spring of last year then they moved on and so did I...

What do you mean the children moved on. How old are they? Of course, it probably doesn't matter since you refer to them as 'his children'. I'm assuming that they're not your children, correct? In that case, children are out of the picture and completely irrelevant.

Also, the fact that you quit your job, cashed in your retirement, etc is completely irrelevant. You chose to do those things and the court is not going to retroactively address them.

You will be entitled to 1/2 of marital assets. So, any assets you've accumulated during the marriage or increase in value of assets owned before the marriage would be marital. This includes retirement plans, etc.

Your marriage is approaching 10 years. It MAY be possible to get some spousal support, but it probably wouldn't be for long. Given the difference in incomes, you might be able to get some. In particular, if you can prove that he committed adultery (such as him sharing a residence with his gf), it can greatly increase your chances of getting alimony.
Dating During Divorce

You can ask for spousal support and may get it. You will also need to make sure that you're asking for 1/2 of all marital assets, including his retirement plan(s). Note: do NOT take the money from his retirement plans in cash. Ask for a QDRO and have the money transferred into an IRA in your own name. If you take it in cash, you're going to lose a big chunk of it to penalties and taxes.

He filed in NC after he apparently became a legal resident there, so that is where the court hearings will occur. You need to use the appropriate forms for NC, NOT AZ. Or, call around and find an NC attorney to represent you. Given the large difference in salaries, there's a chance that you may be able to have your stbx pay your legal expenses.

 

[HolyCow]

Thank you kindly...
Yes you are correct, children are not an issue.
I have documents showing he put her on his phone plan while married, "facebook" proof of them living together...
I will contact a NC lawyer and go from there. Thanks again!