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Stay at home father divorce. Do I even have a chance?

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Deluszinary

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arizona

Stay at home father for 10 years. Wife was the main bread winner. I worked part-time here and there, but never made a third of what she made in a year. She has about 3 times as much credit card debt than I do. All of our debt has been in default for the past couple of years. She was fired from her career job for embezzlement. She received one count of Felony Theft and 1 Misdemeanor Computer crimes as a plea deal and is currently serving a 2 year probation sentence. For good behavior "whatever that is" she has been put on unmonitored probation for the last duration of it. I know she has violated probation plenty of times. I am willing to bet right now if she was drug tested she would fail for Marijuana at least. It took her 10 months from the day she said she was leaving to actually leave. She got together with her parents behind my back and they purchased a home for her to live in and take our 3 children to, leaving me high and dry after I just arranged a new home for us to rent. For the past 2 years she has still worked the most, but only making pennies compared to what she used to make. I have been busting my ass trying to find whatever work I can whenever I can in this economy. I have no savings or assets other than a beat up van with a salvage title. I know she has some savings squirreled away in an IRA. Not much though. We have been living in separate homes now for 2 months. We have not signed any papers or drawn up any contracts between us for anything with the courts at all other than attending one reconciliation meeting that didn't go over well. We haven't drawn up or made an child visitation agreements etc. That's it. That's where I am. I know I know. Contact a lawyer. I don't have a pot to piss in. I am about to liquidate everything I have and try to find free room and board somewhere, go to a shelter or find a really cheap room to rent.

I want to rebuild my ****ty life as fast as I can. I was hoping to ride out the debt, and start settlement procedures in a few years to avoid bankruptcy while we were together. But it's not looking like that's going to happen. And really whats the point if I am going to be accumulating more of her debt to override all my efforts?

I obviously have a lot of questions.

Bankruptcy now? Bankruptcy after divorce?

Do I have any chance fighting for the kids?

Do I have any chance of fighting for alimony?

What about me avoiding her assload of debt? AZ is a community property state. Most of her credit cards were obtained before our marriage but we paid them off in full two times and she racked them right back up through out the marriage.

Should I just walk away? lol. I am feeling pretty screwed.

Personally this is going to sound harsh, but if I am going down I don't feel like going quietly. Especially since she is under the impression that divorce will solve her financial troubles lol.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Arizona

Stay at home father for 10 years. Wife was the main bread winner. I worked part-time here and there, but never made a third of what she made in a year. She has about 3 times as much credit card debt than I do. All of our debt has been in default for the past couple of years. She was fired from her career job for embezzlement. She received one count of Felony Theft and 1 Misdemeanor Computer crimes as a plea deal and is currently serving a 2 year probation sentence. For good behavior "whatever that is" she has been put on unmonitored probation for the last duration of it. I know she has violated probation plenty of times. I am willing to bet right now if she was drug tested she would fail for Marijuana at least. It took her 10 months from the day she said she was leaving to actually leave. She got together with her parents behind my back and they purchased a home for her to live in and take our 3 children to, leaving me high and dry after I just arranged a new home for us to rent. For the past 2 years she has still worked the most, but only making pennies compared to what she used to make. I have been busting my ass trying to find whatever work I can whenever I can in this economy. I have no savings or assets other than a beat up van with a salvage title. I know she has some savings squirreled away in an IRA. Not much though. We have been living in separate homes now for 2 months. We have not signed any papers or drawn up any contracts between us for anything with the courts at all other than attending one reconciliation meeting that didn't go over well. We haven't drawn up or made an child visitation agreements etc. That's it. That's where I am. I know I know. Contact a lawyer. I don't have a pot to piss in. I am about to liquidate everything I have and try to find free room and board somewhere, go to a shelter or find a really cheap room to rent.

I want to rebuild my ****ty life as fast as I can. I was hoping to ride out the debt, and start settlement procedures in a few years to avoid bankruptcy while we were together. But it's not looking like that's going to happen. And really whats the point if I am going to be accumulating more of her debt to override all my efforts?

I obviously have a lot of questions.

Bankruptcy now? Bankruptcy after divorce?

Do I have any chance fighting for the kids?

Do I have any chance of fighting for alimony?

What about me avoiding her assload of debt? AZ is a community property state. Most of her credit cards were obtained before our marriage but we paid them off in full two times and she racked them right back up through out the marriage.

Should I just walk away? lol. I am feeling pretty screwed.

Personally this is going to sound harsh, but if I am going down I don't feel like going quietly. Especially since she is under the impression that divorce will solve her financial troubles lol.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Based on the financial situation you are describing, its hard to give you advice without knowing the actual numbers.

How much is she actually making NOW?..because clearly she is unlikely to have the earning power in the future, that she had in the past.

How much debt is in her name only? How much debt is in yours? How much is joint?

Where are you currently living and how are you currently supporting yourself?
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
If you were the primary caregiver, you have a very good chance of being awarded primary custody, but not if you continue to allow them to live with your wife without protest for much longer. You need to file for custody right away - you don't need to wait to file for divorce as well.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If you were the primary caregiver, you have a very good chance of being awarded primary custody, but not if you continue to allow them to live with your wife without protest for much longer. You need to file for custody right away - you don't need to wait to file for divorce as well.
The reason why I asked where he is living now, was to make sure that he wasn't sleeping on someone's couch. That might be ok for visitation, but it wouldn't be ok for primary custody.
 

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