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step father?

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jamesdj1

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
My ex wife had a child when we married so I became the child's step father. We've since divorced and she has remarried and divorced again. My step child has lived with me for the last 7 years. Is she still legally my stepchild, or did that end with the divorce or her remarriage? Thank you for any help. Jim
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York
My ex wife had a child when we married so I became the child's step father. We've since divorced and she has remarried and divorced again. My step child has lived with me for the last 7 years. Is she still legally my stepchild, or did that end with the divorce or her remarriage? Thank you for any help. Jim
Technically, no. The child is not related to you. Nor do you have any rights wrt the child, although some courts will allow visitation in cases like this.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Technically, no. The child is not related to you. Nor do you have any rights wrt the child, although some courts will allow visitation in cases like this.
When were the seven years she lived with him? During the marriage OR AFTER the divorce?
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
When were the seven years she lived with him? During the marriage OR AFTER the divorce?
Good catch. The initial post does read like the child stayed with him after the divorce - which might change things. I missed that and assumed that the stepchild stayed with the mother at the time of the divorce.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Good catch. The initial post does read like the child stayed with him after the divorce - which might change things. I missed that and assumed that the stepchild stayed with the mother at the time of the divorce.
If it was AFTER the divorce then he has acted in loco parentis and he can file for custody by suing BOTH of his stepdaughter's parents.
 

jamesdj1

Junior Member
Thanks for your answers. She did during the marriage and does still live with me. There was a break directly after the divorce for a couple of years that she did not live with me. Again, thanks for the answers and keep them coming. Also, I understand that I can sue for custody, but does in loco parentis as someone said give me rights without custody?
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
In case anyone cares...and its even relevant in this situation...for tax purposes, once a stepchild, always a stepchild.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
In case anyone cares...and its even relevant in this situation...for tax purposes, once a stepchild, always a stepchild.
That doesn't appear to be correct:

At least in Alabama (the first state that appeared in my Google search), as verified by the AL appeals court, the step-parent, step-child relationship ends on divorce:
Lee’s Divorce & Family Law Blog Standard for Adoption in Alabama

The logic is that since the step-parent/step-child relationship is solely a function of the marriage, it ceases to exist when the marriage ends.

I researched this a while ago and it seemed to be universal, but I haven't bothered to look it up again.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
That doesn't appear to be correct:

At least in Alabama (the first state that appeared in my Google search), as verified by the AL appeals court, the step-parent, step-child relationship ends on divorce:
Lee’s Divorce & Family Law Blog Standard for Adoption in Alabama

The logic is that since the step-parent/step-child relationship is solely a function of the marriage, it ceases to exist when the marriage ends.

I researched this a while ago and it seemed to be universal, but I haven't bothered to look it up again.
I was quoting federal tax law...not state anything.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thanks for your answers. She did during the marriage and does still live with me. There was a break directly after the divorce for a couple of years that she did not live with me. Again, thanks for the answers and keep them coming. Also, I understand that I can sue for custody, but does in loco parentis as someone said give me rights without custody?
No. It gives you grounds upon which to get rights. If she still lives with you you need to file for custody and sue both parents. You should also be receiving child support from both mom and dad.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
I was quoting federal tax law...not state anything.
Just why is federal tax law relevant to custody issues?

Furthermore, I don't think that's correct. When I was married, I could claim my step daughter as a child on my tax return, even when she was a full time student living away from home at college. Now that her mother and I are divorced, I could not claim her on my tax return. Feel free to show the IRS rule that says that a step child is still a step child after a divorce.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Just why is federal tax law relevant to custody issues?

Furthermore, I don't think that's correct. When I was married, I could claim my step daughter as a child on my tax return, even when she was a full time student living away from home at college. Now that her mother and I are divorced, I could not claim her on my tax return. Feel free to show the IRS rule that says that a step child is still a step child after a divorce.
Ldij is VERY correct in her statement. The reason you probably couldn't afterwards cuz MOM is then supporting the child.

A relation created by marriage endures after death and divorce as far as the IRS cares.


Relatives who do not have to live with you. A person related to you in any of the following ways does not have to live with you all year as a member of your household to meet this test.
Your child, stepchild, foster child, or a descendant of any of them (for example, your grandchild). (A legally adopted child is considered your child.)

Your brother, sister, half brother, half sister, stepbrother, or stepsister.

Your father, mother, grandparent, or other direct ancestor, but not foster parent.

Your stepfather or stepmother.

A son or daughter of your brother or sister.

A brother or sister of your father or mother.

Your son-in-law, daughter-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law, or sister-in-law.

Any of these relationships that were established by marriage are not ended by death or divorce.
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p501/ar02.html#en_US_publink100041829
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Just why is federal tax law relevant to custody issues?

Furthermore, I don't think that's correct. When I was married, I could claim my step daughter as a child on my tax return, even when she was a full time student living away from home at college. Now that her mother and I are divorced, I could not claim her on my tax return. Feel free to show the IRS rule that says that a step child is still a step child after a divorce.
See what Ginny posted...

It might be relevant to the OP. However please note that I did say "in case anyone cares and if its even relevant to the situation".
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member

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