Still lost

[justice344]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

1. What to I need to expect from this MOTION TO ENTER CAUSE ON NONJURY DOCKET

2. Can he really get away with everything. I am going to court but just making it barely. I have no money. I can't even afford shampoo right now. No one wants to hire a stay at home of 10 years for anything plus I suffer from PTSD from years of domestic violence. So I can't work. He wants out of this marriage with out paying alimony, retirement or even giving me one of the 2 cars he wants everything that my mother has loaned us. He wants full custody of the kids and doesn't care if I pay child support or not which is bs. And is pushing that I lose my right because I left him.

3. I left him when he tried to slit my throat I didn't get the law involved because in oklahoma they never did anything to help me before. They only made things worse. So I ran to a friends house one state over. Reason why I didn't take the kids. He would have killed us all or filed kidnapping charges. He did that before while he was in jail I went to my mother's house he filed kidnapping and then told me if I left he would file abandonment charges. Oklahoma is good about keeping abused women in relationships.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

1. What to I need to expect from this MOTION TO ENTER CAUSE ON NONJURY DOCKET

He wants a trial without a jury and he wants it scheduled.

2. Can he really get away with everything. I am going to court but just making it barely. I have no money. I can't even afford shampoo right now. No one wants to hire a stay at home of 10 years for anything plus I suffer from PTSD from years of domestic violence. So I can't work. He wants out of this marriage with out paying alimony, retirement or even giving me one of the 2 cars he wants everything that my mother has loaned us. He wants full custody of the kids and doesn't care if I pay child support or not which is bs. And is pushing that I lose my right because I left him.

He may be able to get away with everything depending on how you put it. What proof do you have of the abuse? What proof do you have that you have PTSD and that makes you unable to work? What proof do you have that you are disabled?

3. I left him when he tried to slit my throat I didn't get the law involved because in oklahoma they never did anything to help me before. They only made things worse

Then he did NOT try to slit your throat. You have no proof of that.

So I ran to a friends house one state over. Reason why I didn't take the kids.

Hence he is a fit, safe and proper parent who you gave custody.

He would have killed us all or filed kidnapping charges. He did that before while he was in jail I went to my mother's house he filed kidnapping and then told me if I left he would file abandonment charges.

Wrong. He could not have filed a kidnapping charge because you did not kidnap the children. And it would not have been abandonment either.

Oklahoma is good about keeping abused women in relationships.

Wrong. YOU are an adult and CHOSE to be in an abusive relationship. Your ignorance of the law and life hinders you but that is not Oklahoma's fault. Expect that he will get custody of the children. YOu may be awarded the car but you will also be awarded the debt to the car. You can expect half the marital debt as well as half the marital assets. If you don't want the debt then he may very well get awarded all debt and all assets.

 

[justice344]

Well I am asking for the car that was payed off. Not the one that is new.

Yes he took a broken glass held me against the wall and told me what he was going to do. I was lucky enough to edge my way up against an open door. And escape

He has a history of violence, VPO's against him and not just by me. He strangled me back in march of 2007 and instead of going to prison he went to a mental hospital. He claimed to be out of his mind.

I have been through counseling over this since I left. I have documentation of PTSD and disassociation.

In oklahoma it is against the law to leave the state with your kids even if it is to your mothers house. And even if he is in jail for domestic violence.

Yes I stayed it is my fault that I did. Our kids were in state custody at the time. And I thought that they were safe.

He has admitted to being abusive and is in anger management classes as requested by CPS and myself.

I don't mind giving him full custody if he has learned not to be so abusive. And I can have some say so in there medical concerns. But I didn't just give him custody they were not living there at the time.

And yes he is filing abandonment charges on me for leaving the state. Even though in oklahoma I had no friends and he delivered mail to 3 of the women's shelters in the oklahoma city area.

I tried to stay til our kids were home and out of the system, but things got to bad.

 

[justice344]

Oh and I forgot to mention that I am also pregnant.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well I am asking for the car that was payed off. Not the one that is new.

Yes he took a broken glass held me against the wall and told me what he was going to do. I was lucky enough to edge my way up against an open door. And escape

Witnesses? Any evidence at all? If not, you can't prove a thing, so it's not going to count against him.

He has a history of violence, VPO's against him and not just by me. He strangled me back in march of 2007 and instead of going to prison he went to a mental hospital. He claimed to be out of his mind.

I have been through counseling over this since I left. I have documentation of PTSD and disassociation.

OK. Lots of people say they have PTSD and many even have psychologists who back them up. Where does it say you can't work?

AND, if it's so severe that you can't work, how are you going to be a responsible parent and take care of your kids?

In oklahoma it is against the law to leave the state with your kids even if it is to your mothers house. And even if he is in jail for domestic violence.

I live in OKlahoma. That statement is completely false. Now, once divorce is filed, there will be temporary orders which may restrict your ability to leave the state, but there's nothing in the law which precludes it. You also have the right to get temporary orders which allow it. I was able to take my daughter to Canada while my divorce was pending.

Yes I stayed it is my fault that I did. Our kids were in state custody at the time. And I thought that they were safe.

He has admitted to being abusive and is in anger management classes as requested by CPS and myself.

OK. Has he been declared unfit by a qualified professional?

I don't mind giving him full custody if he has learned not to be so abusive. And I can have some say so in there medical concerns. But I didn't just give him custody they were not living there at the time.

And yes he is filing abandonment charges on me for leaving the state. Even though in oklahoma I had no friends and he delivered mail to 3 of the women's shelters in the oklahoma city area.

Sorry, you left the state. The fact that you didn't make any friends there while you lived in OK isn't relevant at all to the issue. You left the state and left the kids in OK. That's all he has to prove. The law doesn't say that it isn't abandonment if you don't have friends.

You really need an attorney if you don't want to get royally steamrolled by this entire process. Contact the woman's shelter where you stayed or see if legal aid is available. But no matter what happens, you're going to need to find a way to support yourself. If you're disabled, you should be able to get disability. If you're not disabled, you're going to need to get a job.

 

[nextwife]

There are no womens' shelters in OK? That would have been another option.

Violence Against Women - State Domestic Violence Resources

Domestic Violence Intervention Services, Inc. - Home

 

[Ohiogal]

Well I am asking for the car that was payed off. Not the one that is new.

HOW MUCH marital debt are you willing to take? Again, if he gets ALL of the marital debt he may very well get ALL of the marital assets as an offset. It is possible.

Yes he took a broken glass held me against the wall and told me what he was going to do. I was lucky enough to edge my way up against an open door. And escape

And you did NOT call the police and you left the children with him and you have no evidence that that happened.

He has a history of violence, VPO's against him and not just by me. He strangled me back in march of 2007 and instead of going to prison he went to a mental hospital. He claimed to be out of his mind.

Instead of going to prison? He was sentenced to a mental hospital? And then five months ago in 2009 you left the children with him because you thought he was perfectly find to have custody. What happened in 2007 doesn't matter. Because in 2009 it didn't matter to you when you left your defenseless children with him.

I have been through counseling over this since I left. I have documentation of PTSD and disassociation.

Great. But the problem is that doesn't mean you are disabled. It also doesn't mean that you able to parent. Disassociation -- what are the symptoms you experience?

In oklahoma it is against the law to leave the state with your kids even if it is to your mothers house. And even if he is in jail for domestic violence.

That is FLAT OUT WRONG. If that were the case they would build prison walls around Oklahoma and check the border crossings. Guess what? They don't. it is NOT illegal to leave the state with your children. Of course if there is a restraining order preventing it or... looking at the next paragraph they are NOT in the custody of mom or dad.

Yes I stayed it is my fault that I did. Our kids were in state custody at the time. And I thought that they were safe.

State custody? How did dad get custody of them then?

He has admitted to being abusive and is in anger management classes as requested by CPS and myself.

What you request doesn't matter. CPS is involved with the family currently? That is a reason why you couldn't remove them from the state.

I don't mind giving him full custody if he has learned not to be so abusive.

Guess what -- you don't get to decide this. A court can decide that he gets custody even if you disagree. You left the children with him. When was CPS involved? For how long?

And I can have some say so in there medical concerns. But I didn't just give him custody they were not living there at the time.

When were they returned to him?

And yes he is filing abandonment charges on me for leaving the state. Even though in oklahoma I had no friends and he delivered mail to 3 of the women's shelters in the oklahoma city area.

So you could have gone to any of the shelters in the OC area. You didn't. You went to a shelter elsewhere.

I tried to stay til our kids were home and out of the system, but things got to bad.

Now your children are OUT of the system? If so, CPS has determined dad is fit. That is a big issue with anything you say at this point. Because there would have been a court ordering to get the children OUT of the system if they were in the system. Why didn't you attend that hearing?

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and I forgot to mention that I am also pregnant.

Does CPS know you are pregnant/ Does your husband know you are pregnant? how far along are you? Is your husband the biological father? He will be the legal father but the biological father?

 

[justice344]

1. No one knows that I am pregnant. And I am about a month and a half. CPS would not care honestly, because my told them that I was when I wasn't and they just didn't care because I live in another state. I doubt I will say anything because my ex is not the father. I am with my high school sweetheart and the father of my first child now.

2. I am willing to take on half of the marital debt not a problem that door swings both ways I owe child support I guess he is responsible for half of that too. But I am only willing to take what we had when we were married not after I left. I am willing to let him keep what he bought after we left.

3. Nope I have no evidence that it happened, but I do have evidence that I have suffered 3 concussions since November 2006. In 2006 I had a bunch of MRI-MRA catscans and brain specs. Then when I got here I went to the hospital I was dizzy and had bad headaches this was 2009 it showed that I had 3 concussions recently.

4. With the CPS in our business about everything his girlfriend (which I didn't know she was) told me to send him to a mental hospital. He admitted to the cops that he tied me up and held me hostage for hours trying to break my neck and strangling me. He told the cops that he was going to kill me. Then he was going to kill himself. The cop came out of the room and told me to what he admitted to could put in in prison for 10 years since in oklahoma it is a felony to tie someone up. That is what the cop wanted to do. Yet I got scared and opted for the mental hospital. It was one or the other the cops were not sending him home that night. He stayed 8 days instead of the required 3. The state made him take a psychological evaluation after this and it came back really bad, he's a sociopath and shouldn't be around children ever is what it said. Then he took another when he didn't like those results but it didn't show his parenting skills so he took one more and that one came back fine, he jokes about who the first one was how he really feels. He has also tale to many doctors well pyscologist about this. I took the same evaluation and it came back good. That I am a very logical thinker and have no mental concerns. But those test do not show domestic violence or things associated with it.

5. Disassociation- When I talk about what had happened to me I have a blank stare and a blank look. Professionals have stated that I am somewhere else in my mind I am not there, my voice doesn't change only when I talk about my kids with him that it does I become very distraught. I was told that this only comes in the most extreme abuse cases.



6. There was no restraining order against me or anything I actually had emergency custody of the kids at the time. It was the federal parental kidnapping act that he pulls cause he knew I knew no one in oklahoma. It's a law there and he knows it. He lied in court in 2002 stating that he had no idea of where my mother lived even though he had been there. The judge wanted to through me in jail over it, but my ex decided to drop it if I dropped the restraining order I had put on him and the judge agreed. I was controlled after this. I felt as if he ruled much like an abusive parent and I had no options. I sent my oldest son to live with my mother. After 2 years of my husband being non abusive I brought my son back home and the abuse started almost immediately. There was a witness to him strangling my son, but her parents say that she is to young to testify. This was the only time in my life I fought back.


7. Yes he got them because he is a manipulator it's his gift. They were about to come home when I left. We finished everything they asked us to do before I left too. We were one month away. They had been in the system for so long because he went to the mental hospital, then our daughter started saying that she was sexually assaulted and acting out sexually in school after being in the system for a year. They said that they went home because the kids can't remain in the system forever.


8. If I stayed and finished that last month with him the kids would have been home with the both of us. I still would not have been able to leave the state of oklahoma. Unless I got full custody and his permission. The only reason why he did go to jail is because I was working at IHOP and got to know the cops that night when they came to my house. He was going to get away with it if these cops didn't recognize me and knew my normal character.

9. I went to a shelter back in 2002 and he found me and made me come back home. Yes he made me. With manipulation I am telling you that he is good at it. For years he told me that I was nuts because I gave a child up for adoption right before we got together it was a private adoption no CPS involvement. This is what he use to manipulate me. It's a dead button now. But I meet him while this was going on and he went as far as to try and get me committed saying that I was bi-polar and all that bs and that he would take care of me in my mental state. I told the people at the mental hospital what had happened and they told me that I was clear thinking and I had every reason to be upset and he needed to be in prison back in 2002.

10. The kids were return to him last month. They don't have much concern which is odd. Because he told a pregnant case worker that he was going to kill her and rip he baby out of her stomach. He threaten another case worker a male one had him up against the wall and in fear. If the state pissed him off he would file grievances, and this would piss them off. Even though he did these things I somehow ended up getting the blame for it all. At first it was small things like my 15 year old had chores they made it sound like he was Cinderella because he took out the trash and fed his dog. He has more chores where he is at now then he ever did living with me.


11. I was never informed of this hearing. I have been to every hearing that they requested.

 

[justice344]

he only things I do care about is one of the cars as long as it is working and drivable. We had 2. I will take the older one for now but I really need a car.

having a say so in my kids medical needs, we have a daughter what happens if she ends up pregnant and can't tell her dad and wants comes to me. Or what if my son gets sick or hurt and my ex refuses to take him to the hospital it has happened before. When my son got stabbed in the back he refused to take him to the er because he was afraid of how people would look at him. I wasn't home at the time I walked into this, I demanded that we go and took my keys away and told me no he will handle it. I have major concerns in this area. When my kids get hurt I have never cared how they looked at me I just got them the help. Yes CPS knows about this and once again blew it off. I do not care what school he chooses to put our kids in or which doctor he chooses to use for there medical needs as long as he takes them. I don't care rather or not the kids are in daycare after school even though he pulled that on me back in 2002 which left me with no choice but to work in the daycare in which my daughter was attending. I do care about who is around my kids such as his brother is a registered sex offender and lives close by. The state is aware of this but it too is not there concern. They just told him that they frown on is brother being around our kids. Even though his brother molested his 12 year old step daughter. I know it sounds like I am kind of giving up, but I am not in any position to really fight him. He has the money and I don't he made it to where I couldn't even get help through legal aid by applying and getting turned down himself. Which causes conflict. I know how this man works and how the system is very messed up. I knew this the moment a CPS caseworker told me that she had no knowledge of domestic violence or child abuse. I know huh. What response what and your job is? He went to go and visit my son at where he was staying when this all started, this was his way of manipulation. He got my son convinced that I just left to be with another man which wasn't true it took 5 months after me leaving to jump back and forth on rather or not it was a good idea. Well anyways after he lied and said that he would never take his brother and sister away and this is another reason why he opted to stay, my husband quit visiting. He didn't even send his a birthday or christmas card. My husband got what he wanted and didn't care that he destroyed a 16 year old in the process.

half of the retirement. We were married for 10 years, and I was with him when he got this federal job. I was a stay at home mom. I have no retirement. I tried to go back to school 3 times in the past 10 years. Everytime he made it and inconvenience to him and would do things such as change his work hours, tell me that if it was something I wanted to do I could only do it when it was convenient for him. He would hide my books and only let me got for the 7 days then he would pulls stuff even going over to friends house so I would miss class. I have the student loans on my credit. I have a nursing degree but I need some follow up classes it's been 10 years. This is my plan to go back to finish what is needed.

And a little support to get me back on my feet. I asked him for $250 a month for 6 months, that is something that he could handle no problem. If he did that I wouldn't have pursue alimony which is like 25% of his gross in the state of Oklahoma since he has the kids. 35% if he didn't. It's on record that he makes over $4000 a month. That is pretty much covering myself cause I know that he is going to ask for child support with I do not mind paying if I can see the kids, the kids need both parents no matter how bad one maybe. I had faith in my husband that he would be a good person someday.

The state has asked me to do an exit option which I have no clue as to what that is. I know it means that I do get to see my kids it's something like full custody. And they are trying to tell me that because I left my ex that I will lose parental rights and that I should take this option. I go to pre trial in 12 days on this. Does this sound about right.

 

[Ohiogal]

1. No one knows that I am pregnant. And I am about a month and a half. CPS would not care honestly, because my told them that I was when I wasn't and they just didn't care because I live in another state. I doubt I will say anything because my ex is not the father. I am with my high school sweetheart and the father of my first child now.

Your ex is the father of the child. You are still married. You cannot get a divorce while pregnant and your ex will be considered the LEGAL father of the child unless you commit fraud.

2. I am willing to take on half of the marital debt not a problem that door swings both ways I owe child support I guess he is responsible for half of that too. But I am only willing to take what we had when we were married not after I left. I am willing to let him keep what he bought after we left.

He is NOT responsible for half the child support YOU owe. Why would he be responsible for half of the child support you are court ordered to pay? You are wrong. You will be responsible for half of whatever he can prove as marital debt.

3. Nope I have no evidence that it happened, but I do have evidence that I have suffered 3 concussions since November 2006. In 2006 I had a bunch of MRI-MRA catscans and brain specs. Then when I got here I went to the hospital I was dizzy and had bad headaches this was 2009 it showed that I had 3 concussions recently.

Nope. That proves nothing except you had concussions.

4. With the CPS in our business about everything his girlfriend (which I didn't know she was) told me to send him to a mental hospital. He admitted to the cops that he tied me up and held me hostage for hours trying to break my neck and strangling me. He told the cops that he was going to kill me. Then he was going to kill himself. The cop came out of the room and told me to what he admitted to could put in in prison for 10 years since in oklahoma it is a felony to tie someone up. That is what the cop wanted to do. Yet I got scared and opted for the mental hospital.

Sorry but you are wrong. If the cops had been told that your ex would have been arrested. regardless of what you wanted.

It was one or the other the cops were not sending him home that night. He stayed 8 days instead of the required 3. The state made him take a psychological evaluation after this and it came back really bad, he's a sociopath and shouldn't be around children ever is what it said.

And in your brilliance YOU LEFT YOUR CHILDREN WITH HIM? You are going to prove that you are a negligent mother.

Then he took another when he didn't like those results but it didn't show his parenting skills so he took one more and that one came back fine, he jokes about who the first one was how he really feels.

So you got nothing.

He has also tale to many doctors well pyscologist about this. I took the same evaluation and it came back good. That I am a very logical thinker and have no mental concerns. But those test do not show domestic violence or things associated with it.

Oh well. Then you do not have PTSD. You do not have any reason why you can't work because those tests would show PTSD.

5. Disassociation- When I talk about what had happened to me I have a blank stare and a blank look. Professionals have stated that I am somewhere else in my mind I am not there, my voice doesn't change only when I talk about my kids with him that it does I become very distraught. I was told that this only comes in the most extreme abuse cases.

It would also show on a psychological evaluation if you had it.

6. There was no restraining order against me or anything I actually had emergency custody of the kids at the time. It was the federal parental kidnapping act that he pulls cause he knew I knew no one in oklahoma. It's a law there and he knows it.

BULL. The federal parental kidnapping act does not say what you believe it does.

He lied in court in 2002 stating that he had no idea of where my mother lived even though he had been there. The judge wanted to through me in jail over it, but my ex decided to drop it if I dropped the restraining order I had put on him and the judge agreed. I was controlled after this. I felt as if he ruled much like an abusive parent and I had no options. I sent my oldest son to live with my mother. After 2 years of my husband being non abusive I brought my son back home and the abuse started almost immediately. There was a witness to him strangling my son, but her parents say that she is to young to testify. This was the only time in my life I fought back.

YOu didnt' fight back.

7. Yes he got them because he is a manipulator it's his gift. They were about to come home when I left. We finished everything they asked us to do before I left too. We were one month away. They had been in the system for so long because he went to the mental hospital, then our daughter started saying that she was sexually assaulted and acting out sexually in school after being in the system for a year. They said that they went home because the kids can't remain in the system forever.

Dad was shown to be fit and not a harm to the children. He proved he rectified the situation that brought the children into care.

8. If I stayed and finished that last month with him the kids would have been home with the both of us. I still would not have been able to leave the state of oklahoma. Unless I got full custody and his permission. The only reason why he did go to jail is because I was working at IHOP and got to know the cops that night when they came to my house. He was going to get away with it if these cops didn't recognize me and knew my normal character.

You are losing credibility quite frankly. You have nothing to use against dad because since everything happened, dad has regained custody of the children through court order.

9. I went to a shelter back in 2002 and he found me and made me come back home. Yes he made me. With manipulation I am telling you that he is good at it. For years he told me that I was nuts because I gave a child up for adoption right before we got together it was a private adoption no CPS involvement. This is what he use to manipulate me. It's a dead button now. But I meet him while this was going on and he went as far as to try and get me committed saying that I was bi-polar and all that bs and that he would take care of me in my mental state. I told the people at the mental hospital what had happened and they told me that I was clear thinking and I had every reason to be upset and he needed to be in prison back in 2002.

And yet you stayed with him for 7 years.

10. The kids were return to him last month. They don't have much concern which is odd. Because he told a pregnant case worker that he was going to kill her and rip he baby out of her stomach. He threaten another case worker a male one had him up against the wall and in fear. If the state pissed him off he would file grievances, and this would piss them off. Even though he did these things I somehow ended up getting the blame for it all. At first it was small things like my 15 year old had chores they made it sound like he was Cinderella because he took out the trash and fed his dog. He has more chores where he is at now then he ever did living with me.

Apparently you have no credibility because the children came back to him by court order last month. You have not finished everything they wanted to do or didn't care enough to show up at the court hearing -- did you?

11. I was never informed of this hearing. I have been to every hearing that they requested.

Not believing it. I bet you were informed legitimately. Service was achieved. Did you give the court your new address? If not you were properly served at your last address. Or through your lawyer if you had one.

 

[Ohiogal]

he only things I do care about is one of the cars as long as it is working and drivable. We had 2. I will take the older one for now but I really need a car.

having a say so in my kids medical needs, we have a daughter what happens if she ends up pregnant and can't tell her dad and wants comes to me. Or what if my son gets sick or hurt and my ex refuses to take him to the hospital it has happened before. When my son got stabbed in the back he refused to take him to the er because he was afraid of how people would look at him. I wasn't home at the time I walked into this, I demanded that we go and took my keys away and told me no he will handle it. I have major concerns in this area. When my kids get hurt I have never cared how they looked at me I just got them the help. Yes CPS knows about this and once again blew it off. I do not care what school he chooses to put our kids in or which doctor he chooses to use for there medical needs as long as he takes them. I don't care rather or not the kids are in daycare after school even though he pulled that on me back in 2002 which left me with no choice but to work in the daycare in which my daughter was attending. I do care about who is around my kids such as his brother is a registered sex offender and lives close by. The state is aware of this but it too is not there concern. They just told him that they frown on is brother being around our kids. Even though his brother molested his 12 year old step daughter. I know it sounds like I am kind of giving up, but I am not in any position to really fight him. He has the money and I don't he made it to where I couldn't even get help through legal aid by applying and getting turned down himself. Which causes conflict. I know how this man works and how the system is very messed up. I knew this the moment a CPS caseworker told me that she had no knowledge of domestic violence or child abuse. I know huh. What response what and your job is? He went to go and visit my son at where he was staying when this all started, this was his way of manipulation. He got my son convinced that I just left to be with another man which wasn't true it took 5 months after me leaving to jump back and forth on rather or not it was a good idea. Well anyways after he lied and said that he would never take his brother and sister away and this is another reason why he opted to stay, my husband quit visiting. He didn't even send his a birthday or christmas card. My husband got what he wanted and didn't care that he destroyed a 16 year old in the process.

half of the retirement. We were married for 10 years, and I was with him when he got this federal job. I was a stay at home mom. I have no retirement. I tried to go back to school 3 times in the past 10 years. Everytime he made it and inconvenience to him and would do things such as change his work hours, tell me that if it was something I wanted to do I could only do it when it was convenient for him. He would hide my books and only let me got for the 7 days then he would pulls stuff even going over to friends house so I would miss class. I have the student loans on my credit. I have a nursing degree but I need some follow up classes it's been 10 years. This is my plan to go back to finish what is needed.

And a little support to get me back on my feet. I asked him for $250 a month for 6 months, that is something that he could handle no problem. If he did that I wouldn't have pursue alimony which is like 25% of his gross in the state of Oklahoma since he has the kids. 35% if he didn't. It's on record that he makes over $4000 a month. That is pretty much covering myself cause I know that he is going to ask for child support with I do not mind paying if I can see the kids, the kids need both parents no matter how bad one maybe. I had faith in my husband that he would be a good person someday.

The state has asked me to do an exit option which I have no clue as to what that is. I know it means that I do get to see my kids it's something like full custody. And they are trying to tell me that because I left my ex that I will lose parental rights and that I should take this option. I go to pre trial in 12 days on this. Does this sound about right.

You need an attorney. YOu have NO proof of anything and nothing that is relevant. dad received custody last month because CPS did NOT see him as a threat or a harm to the children. The COURT did not see him as harmful or dangerous to the children. You could lose custody because YOU LEFT THE STATE with NO REGARDS to your children during an open CPS case. If you didn't finish your case plan, you COULD lose parental rights. You could cease being the parent to these children.

Apparently that is okay because you will just go make more. And then hide your pregnancy and commit fraud.

 

[justice344]

I am not going to commit fraud I am going to tell them when I go to court in a few days. I am going to get paperwork to prove it tomorrow, because a home pregnancy test won't do the trick. They will come up with I had someone else pee on a stick or something like that. He is going to deny it because my ex is fixed. This is to be expected.


I went as far as to file my taxes correctly even though I didn't make much. I filed married filing separately. I don't know what else to do he won't file for years that is just how he is and I don't want to get caught up in that mess too.

I don't mind there marital debt. Utilities were in my name which I had switched over and I owe like $30 in total. There is a broken lease with one month to go which is $700 and a few medical bill co-pays all under $1000. We have one car that he was paying on which is new I was never on the buyer agreement. I am not asking for that car he needs it for the kids. I am asking for the one that is paid of sitting in the driveway which he has told me many time I could have, but changes his mind ever other turn. We just don't have much marital debt. No one would give us credit and we really didn't want it. He had debt before we were married that I didn't know about til he went to buy a car years ago most of it got paid off.
And I am not sure of what he has done since I left. I know that I haven't created anymore debt.

I am going to get caught up on child support it's not that far behind and can get caught up once I start working again. Which a car will help that situation right now.


The state took me seriously enough to make him take domestic violence classes and anger management which that was my only problem with him having the kids. They made him go. I just hope he gets something out of it. The state even said that I was thinking more clearly since I left. I don't know what his parenting skills are I never saw them. He worked came home took a shower, ate, watched what he wanted to on tv and went to bed. He had no involvement with the kids really. But I guess he will have to learn. So I can't say what kind of father he is. He would yell at them or hit them here and there. That is were I lacked I wasn't the disciplinary one. I was the caring, nurturing, and involved in everything they did school, friends, doctors and so on.

Our case was finished they were investigating something that had happened to my daughter while in the system. And that threw the case back til they finished the investigation and it just took awhile. We were getting our regular visits. I had visits even after I left.

Domestic Violence is something not a lot of people understand unless you went through it or know someone that went through it, I did and I survived it barely but I am not holding it against my kids which need both parents in our case. I am trying to be fair. And keeping the faith that it won't happen to my kids. I voiced my concerns with the state and that is all I can really do. I made them aware of it. If not and something happens to my kids wouldn't I be held responsible? Like they said he could have beaten me to death but unless the kids were hit it does concern them. I think some of the case workers need to be educated in this field a bit more. Because they would know that if a kid see's it, it does effect them. The kids start to lose respect for the one being abused.


I do watch from the sidelines to see what is going on with my kids. I was in the process of getting my daughter tested for asperger's syndrome right before they left. I have voiced this a few times over the last 2 years and nothing came of it. Since my husband has the kids he is doing good and getting her checked out he is looking into it. Apparently he is thinking that I knew what I was talking about. But he always called me a lazy parent but he had no clue. I guess he will now. He will know why the house wasn't perfect at 5 when you can't even take a moment to go pee.

It just seems like everyone test me with my kids. Such as my son being allergic to peanuts 4 people told the state this, but they chose to ignore it and he ended up in the hospital within 3 days. It only took a slight touch of it for me to figure it out.( And I informed everyone he came into contact with it was the first thing I brought up.) That is in the paperwork that I told them. I got upset over it and it pissed of the state. Then my daughter ends up with a black eye and hand prints all over her face I asked why and they got even more upset. Then my son got a large gash his chin. I asked once again. Really all I wanted to know was what was going on with my kids. And they were getting angry with me. But doesn't a parent have a right to know what is going on with there kids.


I never got served divorce papers. I got told that they existed so I went to court network and looked. I filed an entry of appearance, and a response. Now I got the new thing which set us for a court date. Yes they have my address, phone number, and many ways to contact me. But I guess this is a legal way of doing it. getting a text message or email stating that paperwork has been filed. Even though everything I sent them went registered mail.


I know what the kidnapping this is it's home state advantage. That I do know. And in oklahoma they take it serious.


I just came back home, I went through a very traumatic ordeal and I needed the support of friends and family I am sorry that no one can see that. I no longer do the system it has failed me before and has failed many for years.



PTSD is bad and it sucks. It's something that I have to deal with. My evaluation happened 3 days before my husband tried to kill me. Sure my husband hit me and he was verbally abusive for years, but I never feared for my life until 2007. And I stayed because I knew what would happen if I left and I was right. And your statement just goes to show that maybe I did deserve to get disciplined that way. It was my fault that I pissed him off even though I never knew what I did to being with. I would get hit for breathing wrong or looking a certain way or even wearing the wrong underwear. Who knows. I did love him regardless, and I tried to make him happy but I just wasn't doing it right I guess.


Legally I just want what is fair and what I am entitled to as being a housewife for the last decade. That is all.

He worked had a job that paid well enough for me to stay home to be with the kids.

I tried to go back to school but it just didn't suit. I never planned on leaving getting a divorce, but it's what happened.

I only asked for 4 things and all I wanted to know if I was entitled to them?

Half of the retirement
Alimony
A car
and my mother's things

That is really it.

The state is going to do what the state wants to. And so will he. I wasn't sure what an exit order is. But if it means I can still see my kids then there we go. It's a solution to that problem.

I am not even asking for joint custody at this point, because he will fight and he needs that money for the kids and not on a $750 hr lawyer. I would rather them have it honestly.

I just want to make sure also if he does do something that is really bad, that I have the option to take them. I just hope he knows what he is doing.

The domestic violence is the history not what I am bringing to court. That is being fixed I hope. It is the reason why I left the only reason.

It was brought up in the right court to get fixed.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not going to commit fraud I am going to tell them when I go to court in a few days. I am going to get paperwork to prove it tomorrow, because a home pregnancy test won't do the trick. They will come up with I had someone else pee on a stick or something like that. He is going to deny it because my ex is fixed. This is to be expected.

Well your ex is not the father. Why wouldn't he deny the child? It still won't change anything -- the divorce will be delayed UNTIL after you give birth.

I went as far as to file my taxes correctly even though I didn't make much. I filed married filing separately. I don't know what else to do he won't file for years that is just how he is and I don't want to get caught up in that mess too.

So when you were married you filed?

I don't mind there marital debt. Utilities were in my name which I had switched over and I owe like $30 in total. There is a broken lease with one month to go which is $700 and a few medical bill co-pays all under $1000.

The utilities are still marital debt most likely. The broken lease is marital debt. The medical bills if during marriage are marital debt.

We have one car that he was paying on which is new I was never on the buyer agreement.

Doesn't matter.

I am not asking for that car he needs it for the kids. I am asking for the one that is paid of sitting in the driveway which he has told me many time I could have, but changes his mind ever other turn.

Can you pay him half the equity of it or take that in marital debt?

We just don't have much marital debt. No one would give us credit and we really didn't want it. He had debt before we were married that I didn't know about til he went to buy a car years ago most of it got paid off.
And I am not sure of what he has done since I left. I know that I haven't created anymore debt.

You also haven't paid any bills.

I am going to get caught up on child support it's not that far behind and can get caught up once I start working again. Which a car will help that situation right now.

Whose name is on the title to the car?

The state took me seriously enough to make him take domestic violence classes and anger management which that was my only problem with him having the kids. They made him go. I just hope he gets something out of it.

The state found him fit.

The state even said that I was thinking more clearly since I left. I don't know what his parenting skills are I never saw them. He worked came home took a shower, ate, watched what he wanted to on tv and went to bed. He had no involvement with the kids really.

And you fled the state with no thought of your children.

But I guess he will have to learn. So I can't say what kind of father he is. He would yell at them or hit them here and there. That is were I lacked I wasn't the disciplinary one. I was the caring, nurturing, and involved in everything they did school, friends, doctors and so on.

And yet you fled the state with NO THOUGHT of your children.

Our case was finished they were investigating something that had happened to my daughter while in the system. And that threw the case back til they finished the investigation and it just took awhile. We were getting our regular visits. I had visits even after I left.

But you left. Did you finish YOUR case plan?

Domestic Violence is something not a lot of people understand unless you went through it or know someone that went through it, I did and I survived it barely but I am not holding it against my kids which need both parents in our case. I am trying to be fair.

You do NOT know what I understand and what I do not understand. You are not being fair quite frankly.

And keeping the faith that it won't happen to my kids. I voiced my concerns with the state and that is all I can really do. I made them aware of it. If not and something happens to my kids wouldn't I be held responsible?

You fled the state and left your children with him.

Like they said he could have beaten me to death but unless the kids were hit it does concern them. I think some of the case workers need to be educated in this field a bit more. Because they would know that if a kid see's it, it does effect them. The kids start to lose respect for the one being abused.

And the one who flees leaving the children with the abuser.

I do watch from the sidelines to see what is going on with my kids.

Be prepared to remain on the sidelines though. Your role as a parent is not to sit and watch.

I was in the process of getting my daughter tested for asperger's syndrome right before they left.

You left. The state removed them because YOU did not protect them. Or don't you understand that?

I have voiced this a few times over the last 2 years and nothing came of it.

TWO YEARS? And while your children were in car for two years what were you doing?

Since my husband has the kids he is doing good and getting her checked out he is looking into it. Apparently he is thinking that I knew what I was talking about.

No. Apparently he is taking care of the children you left behind.

But he always called me a lazy parent but he had no clue. I guess he will now. He will know why the house wasn't perfect at 5 when you can't even take a moment to go pee.

Really?

It just seems like everyone test me with my kids. Such as my son being allergic to peanuts 4 people told the state this, but they chose to ignore it and he ended up in the hospital within 3 days. It only took a slight touch of it for me to figure it out.( And I informed everyone he came into contact with it was the first thing I brought up.) That is in the paperwork that I told them. I got upset over it and it pissed of the state. Then my daughter ends up with a black eye and hand prints all over her face I asked why and they got even more upset. Then my son got a large gash his chin. I asked once again. Really all I wanted to know was what was going on with my kids. And they were getting angry with me. But doesn't a parent have a right to know what is going on with there kids.

They were in state custody -- why was that? Oh yeah. Because you weren't able to parent them. That apparently was proven.

I never got served divorce papers. I got told that they existed so I went to court network and looked. I filed an entry of appearance, and a response. Now I got the new thing which set us for a court date. Yes they have my address, phone number, and many ways to contact me.

Who has the address? You are in a shelter so your ex can't have the address.

But I guess this is a legal way of doing it. getting a text message or email stating that paperwork has been filed. Even though everything I sent them went registered mail.

YOu need an attorney.

I know what the kidnapping this is it's home state advantage. That I do know. And in oklahoma they take it serious.

No you do not know.

I just came back home, I went through a very traumatic ordeal and I needed the support of friends and family I am sorry that no one can see that. I no longer do the system it has failed me before and has failed many for years.

Support of family and friends? Some support if they are letting you live in a shelter.

PTSD is bad and it sucks. It's something that I have to deal with. My evaluation happened 3 days before my husband tried to kill me. Sure my husband hit me and he was verbally abusive for years, but I never feared for my life until 2007

Yet he tried to kill you when? In 2009?

And I stayed because I knew what would happen if I left and I was right. And your statement just goes to show that maybe I did deserve to get disciplined that way. It was my fault that I pissed him off even though I never knew what I did to being with. I would get hit for breathing wrong or looking a certain way or even wearing the wrong underwear. Who knows. I did love him regardless, and I tried to make him happy but I just wasn't doing it right I guess.

You put him before your children? Your children were removed when? Why?

Legally I just want what is fair and what I am entitled to as being a housewife for the last decade. That is all.

You may not be entitled to anything. Seriously.

I only asked for 4 things and all I wanted to know if I was entitled to them?

Half of the retirement

Maybe. Depends on the actual division of debts and assets.

Alimony

Alimony is not a guaranteed entitlement.

A car

Maybe. Depends on the actual division of debts and assets.

and my mother's things

Can you prove they are/were your mother's?

The state is going to do what the state wants to. And so will he. I wasn't sure what an exit order is. But if it means I can still see my kids then there we go. It's a solution to that problem.

It may not mean that. It may mean that you get NOTHING. You get your rights terminated. YOU NEED an attorney.

I am not even asking for joint custody at this point, because he will fight and he needs that money for the kids and not on a $750 hr lawyer. I would rather them have it honestly.

A $750/hour lawyer? Really? YOu wouldn't get joint custody -- because you left the children while you went off doing whatever you wanted AND the state found dad a fit parent.

I just want to make sure also if he does do something that is really bad, that I have the option to take them. I just hope he knows what he is doing.

Nope. You won't have the option to just take them.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well your ex is not the father. Why wouldn't he deny the child? It still won't change anything -- the divorce will be delayed UNTIL after you give birth.

It doesn't seem to be worth bothering. OP isn't interested in getting any advice - she thinks she's right about everything and no one else's opinion matters.