Subpeona for text records

[orthogrl8]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

9 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I got busted by my husband for an affair. I ended the affair, but I subsequently told him that I wanted a divorce - this was 8 months ago, and his response was an adamant "no". I have tried countless times to broach the subject of proceeding with a divorce and we have been sleeping on different floors for all of 2011, but he won't budge "for the kids' sake". Long story short, I want to file, but I am hesitant because of the possibility of him accessing my text records for the last 8 months. There is definitely evidence of adultery in them, and I have more or less admitted that to him after he happened to see an unsavory message on my phone. I'm not worried about myself (he thinks he can use this as ammunition to prove me an unfit mother, which I highly doubt), but rather the other party, who is married. I know, I know. So what I'm hoping someone can answer is the follwing: If I admit to adultery, does he still have the right to access my account and get those records? Would he personally get the text records and be able to see the phone numbers, etc (this worries me because I feel like he might go after the guy and destroy his family)? Are the contents of texts stored in phone companies' databases (or whatever) indefinitely? Please help because I feel very trapped

 

[Proserpina]

Any half-decent attorney could subpoena and access your text messages. And yes, if that happens, your husband gets to see every single word. Even if you admit to the adultery.

And really - you need to prepare for what might be the inevitable...your paramour's family finding out about the deception.

Look on the bright side though.

Unless OG comes along to correct me, I'm fairly certain that adultery won't really matter too much in terms of custody in Ohio.

 

[orthogrl8]

Thank you for your input and candor

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for your input and candor

Please do stand by for OhioGal though.

She is an attorney and GAL (Guardian ad Litem) in Ohio.

 

[orthogrl8]

Does anyone know the answer to my other question? Do phone companies hold on to that type of information indefinitely? Numbers AND content of texts?

 

[Proserpina]

Does anyone know the answer to my other question? Do phone companies hold on to that type of information indefinitely? Numbers AND content of texts?

It depends on the carrier/service.

Some hold them for very short periods, others longer.

Some hold numbers only, some hold the actual content, some hold both.

Again on the plus side (for you anyway....), they generally will NOT release information like that without a subpoena unless there's an ongoing criminal investigation.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OH

9 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I got busted by my husband for an affair. I ended the affair, but I subsequently told him that I wanted a divorce - this was 8 months ago, and his response was an adamant "no". I have tried countless times to broach the subject of proceeding with a divorce and we have been sleeping on different floors for all of 2011, but he won't budge "for the kids' sake". Long story short, I want to file, but I am hesitant because of the possibility of him accessing my text records for the last 8 months. There is definitely evidence of adultery in them, and I have more or less admitted that to him after he happened to see an unsavory message on my phone. I'm not worried about myself (he thinks he can use this as ammunition to prove me an unfit mother, which I highly doubt), but rather the other party, who is married. I know, I know. So what I'm hoping someone can answer is the follwing: If I admit to adultery, does he still have the right to access my account and get those records? Would he personally get the text records and be able to see the phone numbers, etc (this worries me because I feel like he might go after the guy and destroy his family)? Are the contents of texts stored in phone companies' databases (or whatever) indefinitely? Please help because I feel very trapped

He can find out the name through discovery. If he does find out the name, he can name your adulterous lover in the divorce and subpoena him. Admitting to adultery does nothing. Actually he would not be destroying the guy's family. YOU and the GUY did that when you decided to screw around. YOU slept with a married man and didn't seem to care during the affair. Congrats. The wife should be told so that she can decide if she wants to stay with her husband and try to make it work OR send him off to you so you can be a happy family. Whatcha think?
He can definitely subpoena that information regarding your phone records. If you want a divorce get one. Did you ever introduce your children to this pathetic example of married man? Did you ever meet his children? If so, that CAN hurt you. It doesn't make you unfit, however. It does show that you are someone of loose morals who doesn't keep her word. After he found out about the affair did the two of you have sex and share a bedroom? If so, for how long?

 

[orthogrl8]

I think that I appreciate your input on the legal matter, but I did not ask for a surrogate moral compass. Thanks anyways.

 

[stealth2]

I think that I appreciate your input on the legal matter, but I did not ask for a surrogate moral compass. Thanks anyways.

Except that is what a court is likely to ask.

Personally, speaking, the wife should know so that she can protect herself medically - if she's had sex with her husband during or since your affair, she has been having sex with everyone else either of you have been with. She should have the opportunity to ensure that neither of you provided her with any unexpected "gifts". Same goes for your husband. Hopefully, he's already taken care of that himself.

 

[Ohiogal]

I think that I appreciate your input on the legal matter, but I did not ask for a surrogate moral compass. Thanks anyways.

How about you answer the relevant questions:
After he found out about the affair did the two of you have sex and share a bedroom? If so, for how long?
Did you ever introduce your children to this pathetic example of married man? Did you ever meet his children? If so, that CAN hurt you.

I do not ask these questions for my health. THEY LEGALLY MATTER.