taken for a ride?

[donnadee]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hi. When i met my boyfriend he reasured me we can date without a problem since he told me he was no longer in a relationship with his wife and undergoing divorce. I told him we can wait to date untill his divorce was final but he refused, saying that is unfair and would still like to see me as friends at least if i don't feel confortable about having a close relationship. I am going to skip all other details but get to the point as i realy need your opinion about this, anthing that can help.
He sais he's been "separated" from his wife for 6 months now but when i asked why he continues to live in the house with her he sais that if he moves out, the judge might interpret that as abandoing his kids. Is that true? He also sais that he will let her apply for divorce and only then he'll move out. They have been "dicussing" the divorce since over a couple of months ago but i see no action beeing taken from any of them. They take turns in who cares for the kids every other weekend and live in separae rooms. I am realy worried and confuzed because i don't see how he HAS to keep living there with her and even more worried because i am starting to care for him but i can't continue dating a married man, even if he sais things will change soon.
He is not planning to apply for divorce because he has no money and he wants to come to understanding with her. She wants him to pay her child support plus money for kindergarden and day care plus take care of the kids almost every day. He can't afford that so he sais it is nore convenient for him to keep living there.
I am afraid his divorce will take years as i see things moving right now. He sais it wont and that when she applies for divorce he will move out. I asked him if that wouldn't be considered as abandoning his kids and he didn't know what to say.
I care for him a lot but dating him, as a still married man has been the braking of all moral rules from me. I want to break up with him but a part of me came to care for him a lot, I don't know what to do. Do you think he's telling lies? What can i help him with? Do you have any imput on his situation and what he can do?

thank you

 

[Just Blue]

Break up with him.

 

[OldandTired]

First of all, this is a legal forum. You have posted no legal question.

Secondly, you're being toyed with. If he's sleeping in the house, he's sleeping with his wife. He is spoon-feeding you the information he wants you to know and nothing more.

Get rid of him now. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants his wife at home and you on the side.

Do you like to be considered a "side-dish"? Dump him and get someone that will have respect for you. He has no respect for you or his wife. If he did, you wouldn't be on here asking these questions.

If he can have this affair with you, while still at home sleeping with his wife, he can do exactly the SAME THING when he finds someone else that seems to be more attractive and more vulnerable than you.

GET RID OF HIM NOW!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Hi. When i met my boyfriend he reasured me we can date without a problem since he told me he was no longer in a relationship with his wife and undergoing divorce. I told him we can wait to date untill his divorce was final but he refused, saying that is unfair and would still like to see me as friends at least if i don't feel confortable about having a close relationship. I am going to skip all other details but get to the point as i realy need your opinion about this, anthing that can help.
He sais he's been "separated" from his wife for 6 months now but when i asked why he continues to live in the house with her he sais that if he moves out, the judge might interpret that as abandoing his kids. Is that true? He also sais that he will let her apply for divorce and only then he'll move out. They have been "dicussing" the divorce since over a couple of months ago but i see no action beeing taken from any of them. They take turns in who cares for the kids every other weekend and live in separae rooms. I am realy worried and confuzed because i don't see how he HAS to keep living there with her and even more worried because i am starting to care for him but i can't continue dating a married man, even if he sais things will change soon.
He is not planning to apply for divorce because he has no money and he wants to come to understanding with her. She wants him to pay her child support plus money for kindergarden and day care plus take care of the kids almost every day. He can't afford that so he sais it is nore convenient for him to keep living there.
I am afraid his divorce will take years as i see things moving right now. He sais it wont and that when she applies for divorce he will move out. I asked him if that wouldn't be considered as abandoning his kids and he didn't know what to say.
I care for him a lot but dating him, as a still married man has been the braking of all moral rules from me. I want to break up with him but a part of me came to care for him a lot, I don't know what to do. Do you think he's telling lies? What can i help him with? Do you have any imput on his situation and what he can do?

thank you

RUN...this is not a relationship that you need to be in at this time. Tell him to contact you again once his divorce is final. My guess is that you won't hear from him again.

Whatever you do, do NOT get pregnant by this man unless you want to be living a nightmare.