Thinking Of A Divorce

[skylarblue]

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have a 7 year old son.

The situation is this:

My husband has not worked in over three months and we are struggling to make ends meet. Not only has he not worked, but he has not really attempted to find employment, either. He does little to nothing around the house. In an effort to earn more money, I am working all the available overtime I can get. This amounts to my being away from home approximately 14 hours a day including the commute.

I have asked my husband to take care of things around the house, but he is either too lazy or just simply will not do it. I've been getting reports at work that our son is not turning in homework and today got a call to come pick him up at school because my husband sent him to school in dirty, smelly clothes. I took him home, bathed him, and gave him clean clothes to wear and sent him back to school. This afternoon, I get another call saying that the bus had taken him back to school because my husband was not at the bus stop. At this point, I am scared that the school will get DFCS involved for neglect.

I do not want this to happen, but if I back off my hours, we will be evicted from our house because I won't be able to pay rent. Currently, my salary is barely enough to cover all expenses, but it is too much to qualify for state aid programs like food stamps and medicaid. If I leave (or make my husband leave) and daycare is thrown into the mix, I simply won't be able to afford it. I am only making it now because with my husband not working, I don't have to pay daycare and am able to work late hours.

My husband's only source of income is a disability check from the Army that is $115.00 a month and a quarterly stipend from a trust fund that was set up by his mother's will while we were married (there is no pre-nup) that pays him about $2000.00 every three months. The car is in my name, as is the insurance. I am pretty sure that I will get primary custody and I won't seek sole custody because I will not keep our son from seeing his father. The trust fund is set up so that it reverts to our son at a specific age.

I know that financially, I can not make it on what I make. I have no family to help. I know I can get a lawyer through legal aid, but I am afraid that with my husband being unemployed that he will not have to pay any kind of support. My main question is: Am I entitled to a portion of that trust fund dividend if it is his only source of income to pay child support? Can/Will a judge order the trustee to send a monthly check and just subtract that from my husband's quarterly payment?

[Zigner]

A: Based on the info you provided: No, you are not.

Edit: I misread your post originally - but I'll tentatively stand by my answer

[Silverplum]

Dear Aspiring Novelist,

Here is info on GA CS:
[url]http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=GA[/url]

Originally Posted by skylarblue

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have a 7 year old son.

The situation is this:

My husband has not worked in over three months and we are struggling to make ends meet. Not only has he not worked, but he has not really attempted to find employment, either. He does little to nothing around the house. In an effort to earn more money, I am working all the available overtime I can get. This amounts to my being away from home approximately 14 hours a day including the commute.

I have asked my husband to take care of things around the house, but he is either too lazy or just simply will not do it. I've been getting reports at work that our son is not turning in homework and today got a call to come pick him up at school because my husband sent him to school in dirty, smelly clothes. I took him home, bathed him, and gave him clean clothes to wear and sent him back to school. This afternoon, I get another call saying that the bus had taken him back to school because my husband was not at the bus stop. At this point, I am scared that the school will get DFCS involved for neglect.

I do not want this to happen, but if I back off my hours, we will be evicted from our house because I won't be able to pay rent. Currently, my salary is barely enough to cover all expenses, but it is too much to qualify for state aid programs like food stamps and medicaid. If I leave (or make my husband leave) and daycare is thrown into the mix, I simply won't be able to afford it. I am only making it now because with my husband not working, I don't have to pay daycare and am able to work late hours.

My husband's only source of income is a disability check from the Army that is $115.00 a month and a quarterly stipend from a trust fund that was set up by his mother's will while we were married (there is no pre-nup) that pays him about $2000.00 every three months. The car is in my name, as is the insurance. I am pretty sure that I will get primary custody and I won't seek sole custody because I will not keep our son from seeing his father. The trust fund is set up so that it reverts to our son at a specific age.

I know that financially, I can not make it on what I make. I have no family to help. I know I can get a lawyer through legal aid, but I am afraid that with my husband being unemployed that he will not have to pay any kind of support. My main question is: Am I entitled to a portion of that trust fund dividend if it is his only source of income to pay child support? Can/Will a judge order the trustee to send a monthly check and just subtract that from my husband's quarterly payment?

[Ohiogal]

The $2000 quarterly payment is income and would be counted towards a child support obligation. However all told you would not receive a lot of child support from this man and if he does not want to pay then he most likely will not. You need to seriously look in to downsizing. Get a more affordable, less expensive place to live. Cut back on everything you have and go from there.

[skylarblue]

Unfortunately, it doesn't get much less expensive than $800/month for a 3/2 home. Even 2/1 apartments are about that much in my area.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by skylarblue

Unfortunately, it doesn't get much less expensive than $800/month for a 3/2 home. Even 2/1 apartments are about that much in my area.

Well you are going to have to figure something out. No one is going to state that you are going to be guaranteed an $800 a month for a place to live so you will have to downsize. Sticking out your tongue is not going to change matters.

[luckymom]

Originally Posted by skylarblue

Unfortunately, it doesn't get much less expensive than $800/month for a 3/2 home. Even 2/1 apartments are about that much in my area.

How about kicking out your husband and getting a roommate--maybe another single mom who is also having difficulties with the high rent in your area? As for support, he will probably be imputed an income for purposes of child support and that might force him to get a job. But as many on the child support board can attest, if he wants to avoid paying he can.

[skylarblue]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Well you are going to have to figure something out. No one is going to state that you are going to be guaranteed an $800 a month for a place to live so you will have to downsize. Sticking out your tongue is not going to change matters.

I like you. Your wit somehow reminds me of Dr. House.

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

How about kicking out your husband and getting a roommate--maybe another single mom who is also having difficulties with the high rent in your area?

she cannot just arbtitrarily kick him out since it is the marital home. Have you contacted the mortgage company to see if you can just pay the interest for a few months to get breathing room?

[skylarblue]

Originally Posted by Ginny J

she cannot just arbtitrarily kick him out since it is the marital home. Have you contacted the mortgage company to see if you can just pay the interest for a few months to get breathing room?

Unfortunately, it is a rental home. We lost our house last year when we were both unemployed...

[luckymom]

Originally Posted by skylarblue

Unfortunately, it is a rental home. We lost our house last year when we were both unemployed...

Not legal advice . .. but what was your husband like before he became unemployed? Just wondering if depression might be the problem, in which case medication might help him get back on his feet.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by luckymom

Not legal advice . .. but what was your husband like before he became unemployed? Just wondering if depression might be the problem, in which case medication might help him get back on his feet.

That occurred to me too....if you lost a home last year due to unemployment, and now he is unemployed again, depression might be a very real factor...and there really are meds that can help that.

I went through a period of depression combined with panic attacks about 10 years ago. At first I fought my doctor about taking ANY meds, and then for a while I only accepted "immediate relief" meds, and then when I finally accepted that I needed more help than that I took the daily meds.

It was unbelievable for me....about two weeks after starting the daily meds, I woke up and was myself again one morning. About a year and a half later I weaned myself off the meds (by cutting dosage in half and the 1/4 and then stopping) but they were honestly a real lifesaver.

Your husband may turn around if he gets help.

[tuffbrk]

Not legal advice but here is what I'm going to say - if he agrees to go to the doctor's and actually obtains meds, great. If he doesn't agree or the meds don't help enough to prod him to begin looking for a job get the divorce motion filed - ASAP - requesting child support and pendente lite support.

Doesn't guarantee you'll get anything but it will establish to the courts that you are not in the habit of supporting your husband and open up any alimony doors - at 8 yrs, alimony may not be an issue, but you never know.

To this day I bitterly resent my 1st attorney for not filing a motion for child support to force my STBX back to work. He subsequently became ill and now I'm looking at potentially paying alimony. So -better safe than sorry!

[platinumprofit]

What do you do in a situation like this where the other person has not been working or has seem to not put much effort in finding work? What can you do if you don't want the person to continue living off you(not that this is the case in her post)? I mean if you just up and leave will they be able to claim abandonment in course? Will you end up paying them support in a situation where a person did not have any reason to not work and you did not ask them to not work?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tuffbrk

Not legal advice but here is what I'm going to say - if he agrees to go to the doctor's and actually obtains meds, great. If he doesn't agree or the meds don't help enough to prod him to begin looking for a job get the divorce motion filed - ASAP - requesting child support and pendente lite support.

Doesn't guarantee you'll get anything but it will establish to the courts that you are not in the habit of supporting your husband and open up any alimony doors - at 8 yrs, alimony may not be an issue, but you never know.

To this day I bitterly resent my 1st attorney for not filing a motion for child support to force my STBX back to work. He subsequently became ill and now I'm looking at potentially paying alimony. So -better safe than sorry!

I think you got that one backwards. SHE is the supporting spouse!