timing

[justanne]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I've been thinking of leaving my husband, but we are about to attempt to get custody of his two kids from another marriage. His Ex wife is currently not married herself and just left her husband about 9 months ago. Would my leaving be detrimental to his case if I left before we filed? If I waited untill after and we won, would that give grounds to overturn the decision? When would it be best to leave if I decided to leave?

 

[stealth2]

I'd be more concerned with how detrimental this will all be to the kids. let's see - Mom & Dad are divorced. Mom is now divorced a second time. Dad is going to be divorced a second time. Dad & Stepmom are looking to change custody, moving the kids from one home to another. How is *any* of this providing stability for these kids?

Quite honestly - you and your husband need to sit down and discuss your own situation before he makes any move to file for a custody change. It would be completely unfair to him AND to the kids to blindside him.

 

[justanne]

Thanks for failing to answer the question momma. Since your opinion is not valued by me and I do not go seeking advice from strangers, what you wrote means absolutly zilch. I asked what effect there would be on the custody case, not weather or not I should leave him. If you would stick to the question at hand it would be more helpful.

 

[annefan1000]

You don't seek advice from strangers? What on earth are you posting questions on this message board for?

 

[annefan1000]

>>Would my leaving be detrimental to his case if I left before we filed?

Yes. This action turns a "stable" home environment into an "unstable" one.

>>If I waited untill after and we won, would that give grounds to overturn the decision?

Yes, if the non custodial parent deems it necessary. Child custody is always modifiable. I didn't say easy, I said modifiable.

>>When would it be best to leave if I decided to leave?

Based on the custody issue, never. Based on your personal marital issue, when the spirit moves you.

Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for failing to answer the question momma. Since your opinion is not valued by me and I do not go seeking advice from strangers, what you wrote means absolutly zilch. I asked what effect there would be on the custody case, not weather or not I should leave him. If you would stick to the question at hand it would be more helpful.

Nah, you just didn't like the answer. A judge isn't going to be at all amused by this situation. Neither parent is stable, and your divorcing him later only opens the door of a change of circumstance allowing the Mom to file for yet another change.

In all honesty, your not valuing my opinion doesn't bug me in the least - what does bug me is how these kids are getting bounced around 'cause neither of their parents can get their **** together. And I'm interested too - if you're not looking for advice from strangers - why are you posting here?

 

[justanne]

there are opinions and there are facts. I ask for opinions for a various amout of people with differing morals and sets of values. I ask for these opinions from trusted friends. Opinions are things that vary person to person. In addition opinions require me to spill out my entire story, something which I'm not about to do to a compleate stranger. Facts are things that can not change, and I was only looking for facts. as far as weather or not I like your answer I did get one answer like that from a trusted friend, and it is something I'm keeping in mind in my decision. However it is my decision and my decision alone. I don't care if my valuing your opinion bugs you or not. However you do need to take the insults and put them in a more appropriate place. You judge me before I give you my story. I judge you because you judge me. And now, because I have recieved my answer, thank you annefan, I will take that into account in my decision and be gone from here.