Totally Confused and Despret

[Thebayfilly]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I live in Washington State, and I am faced with a VERY difficult and VERY confusing situation. I hope that I am posting this in the right spot as I was not sure exactly where I should post this.

Here's the deal

Oct 31st 2006: Boyfriend "Pedro" and I had differences and broke up after being together for 4 years.

Nov 2006: I unknowingly became pregnant with my son "Jack" with a new boyfriend "Cletus".

Jan 2007: "Cletus" and I separated due to a abusive relationship.

Feb 2007: "Pedro" and I resumed our relationship.

Sep 10th 2007: "Jack" was born

Nov 1st 2007: I married "Pedro" and we lived together as a happy little family.

Dec 2007: Paternity testing conducted by DSHS and DCS showed that "Pedro" was not the father of "Jack" and that "Cletus" was indeed his father.

- "Pedro" believed that "Jack" was his and insisted that more testing be done.

Jan 2008: The state patrol had came to my work with an ATF officer and interrogated me over my husbands habits. I learned that he was dealing drugs through my house. They advised me that if I wanted to be safe and keep my son safe that I should eliminate my husband from my household immediately. If I did not follow the advice, I risked losing my son to CPS. I immediately returned home from work with my Boss (also a close friend) and started to pack his crap. When "Pedro" came home from work he was ballistic and was very confrontational. He yelled at me, got verbally abusive and threw a punch at me. He missed me thankfully and hit a cement chimney beside me. My boss immediately called the police and they showed up. The Lewis County Sheriff responded and put him in handcuffs. When they put him in the squad car they came back and explained to me that they could not press charges against him due to compromise in an ongoing investigation. They stayed until he was moved out and made sure he did not come back. (MIND YOU- this all happened in one day)

The next day he came back for more of his belongings, took both of our cars and even raided my fridge. Even though he was going to his fathers. I let him go with all of his crap. He took the TV, our satellite receiver, both cars, our xbox, all the games (over 20 of them), our DVDs, and he left me the couch and table and a fridge ,bed and oven. (We lived in a small apartment sized house) I was fine with this too. I just wanted him gone. I was emotionally devastated that he had chosen to put our family at this risk.

Feb 2008: I had filed for a separation and got my divorce papers. I submitted the separation but failed to get our divorce filed. I had no issues with him what so ever. I started to see other people and eventually I found my current boyfriend "Jason".

March 2008: I became pregnant with my daughter "Jill".

Nov 2008: "Jill" was born. "Pedro" refuses to sign the paternity affidavit stating that he is NOT the father of "Jill". We were still married at the time of conception for "Jill". "Jason" accepts full paternal rights and responsibilities of "Jill" and is rather upset that "Pedro" won't sign papers.

Dec 2008: "Pedro" agrees to sign the affidavit but I can't get ahold of him to get it done.

January 29th 2009: I called "Pedro" to talk about taxes and he said he would not file anything to do with me. Would not give me his Social so that I can file separately and yelled at me, called me profane names and continued to be irrational. I tried to reason with him and it only got worse. Now he wants COMPLETE paternity testing of both children and insists that they are both his. Neither "Jack" no "Jill" are his, and it's been proven once already with "Jack" with a DNA cheek swab. "Jill" was conceived in March. So if she was conceived in March, and "Pedro" was kicked out in January, how could he be the father of my little girl? Sounds like to me "Pedro" needs to check his calendar again. :S


My questions are:
Do I need to do paternity testing again for both of my children?

If Pedro refuses to sign the paternity affidavit- does that mean that he will be the legal father of my little girl jill?

And if he is the legal father of jill, can i collect child support from him?

Also, he left me with all the unpaid bills- can i sue him for his portion of the bills?

How do I go about doing my taxes this year? He refused to do anything- he insists on keeping it all to himself and not helping with my taxes- no ssn or anything.

Is this something that i should have an attorney for for legal rep in court?

 

[Ohiogal]

Were the paternity tests court ordered? Is there a proven chain of custody for the tests? On Jill he is the legal father. So what you do is agree to paternity testing on BOTH children and ask that Pedro pay for it all.

 

[mistoffolees]

My questions are:
Do I need to do paternity testing again for both of my children?

If Pedro refuses to sign the paternity affidavit- does that mean that he will be the legal father of my little girl jill?

And if he is the legal father of jill, can i collect child support from him?

Also, he left me with all the unpaid bills- can i sue him for his portion of the bills?

How do I go about doing my taxes this year? He refused to do anything- he insists on keeping it all to himself and not helping with my taxes- no ssn or anything.

Is this something that i should have an attorney for for legal rep in court?

1. You don't NEED paternity testing. As of now, your husband "Pedro" is legally Jill's father. He is responsible for child support.

2. Since you're still married, you can't sue Pedro for his half of the bills. When you file for divorce, however, he will become responsible for half of all marital debt (amount will be determined by the court because they are not likely to include bills accumulated after you dumped him for someone new). Once the court has assigned debt, if he refuses to pay, then you can file for contempt.

3. File your taxes as 'married, filing separately'. You don't need his help for that. What do you mean 'no ssn'? You don't have a SSN or he doesn't? Why not? If one of you is in the country illegally, then you have bigger problems.

You really need an attorney to get this all straightened out. And then you need to stop messing around and becoming pregnant with different men while you're still married and/or involved with someone else.

 

[nextwife]

Good grief! So you've conceived TWO children while married that were fathered by two different men, other than your legal husband? You are REALLY complicating your and your children's lives.

A. You need to legally finish one relationship before starting another. Disestablishing paternity after several years is hard to do. And unfair to your child, who has been raised believing a different man was his father. Did you ever even advise Pedro he may not be the father? Or did you also mislead him about paternity and just let him proceed to support and raise a child fathered by someone else?

B. You need to REALLY try to be more diligent about birth control if you are going to keep stepping outside your marriage(s) to mess around. Two children from two quicky relationships is more than some women I know have concieved in twenty years of marriage. There is no reason to be making kids every time you go out and mess around.

 

[cyjeff]

I would also think about some counseling... it is simply not normal to go from sexual relationship to sexual relationship within a month.

 

[LdiJ]

1. You don't NEED paternity testing. As of now, your husband "Pedro" is legally Jill's father. He is responsible for child support.

2. Since you're still married, you can't sue Pedro for his half of the bills. When you file for divorce, however, he will become responsible for half of all marital debt (amount will be determined by the court because they are not likely to include bills accumulated after you dumped him for someone new). Once the court has assigned debt, if he refuses to pay, then you can file for contempt.

3. File your taxes as 'married, filing separately'. You don't need his help for that. What do you mean 'no ssn'? You don't have a SSN or he doesn't? Why not? If one of you is in the country illegally, then you have bigger problems.

You really need an attorney to get this all straightened out. And then you need to stop messing around and becoming pregnant with different men while you're still married and/or involved with someone else.

Misto, you are wrong on two issues on the taxes.

First, you do indeed need to report your spouse's name and SSN on a married filing separately return. Therefore, without his cooperation (or without his SSN) she does have a problem filing married filing separately.

However, in this instance, she is absolutely NOT required to file as married. She has been separated from him for more than the last six months of 2008, and has custody of her children, therefore her proper filing status is "head of household"....assuming that she is maintaining her own home. Otherwise her proper filing status may be "single".

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto, you are wrong on two issues on the taxes.

First, you do indeed need to report your spouse's name and SSN on a married filing separately return. Therefore, without his cooperation (or without his SSN) she does have a problem filing married filing separately.

However, in this instance, she is absolutely NOT required to file as married. She has been separated from him for more than the last six months of 2008, and has custody of her children, therefore her proper filing status is "head of household"....assuming that she is maintaining her own home. Otherwise her proper filing status may be "single".

Unless she actually received a legal separation order (she only says she submitted the papers, not that it was ever ordered by the court), there's no way she can file as single. Under IRS rules, she is considered married:

Publication 501 says that they are considered married if:
"You are married and living apart, but not legally separated under a decree of divorce or separate maintenance."
It also states:
"Your filing status is single if, on the last day of the year, you are unmarried or legally separated from your spouse under a divorce or separate maintenance decree, and you do not qualify for another filing status. "
That seems to preclude a Single filing status unless she got a legal separation without mentioning it (it simply says she filed for it).


HoH is tougher. Under the above rule, she is considered married since she did not have a legal separation in place. OTOH, it later provides 5 rules for her to be considered unmarried - and she seems to meet the separation rule. So, under IRS rules, she is considered married (under the first rule) AND considered unmarried AT THE SAME TIME.


However, since the 5 rules for 'considered unmarried' specifically apply to HoH and are in the HoH section, that may be an appropriate filing status IF she meets the other requirements.

If she doesn't meet the other HoH rules, she's going to have to file as married, separate. If he won't cooperate, she may need a court order to get him to give her his SSN (it's hard to believe she can't find it somewhere, though). Until then, I would file the taxes and write 'refused' in the section for his SSN and attach a note saying that he refused to provide it. That won't get her off the hook entirely, but might buy her some time and avoid non-filing penalties.

 

[nextwife]

If she doesn't meet the other HoH rules .

What's necessary to meet the Ho rules?

 

[sroutlaw]

Misto -
Your information is incomplete. You need to look at the abandoned spouse exceptions to filing status.

sro

 

[mommyof4]

What's necessary to meet the Ho rules?

OMG!!! Bwahahahahahahah!!!!

Did you intend to post that as it is? Absolutely hysterical!

 

[mistoffolees]

What's necessary to meet the Ho rules?

From the history she's posted, she meets those. I don't know about the HoH rules, though.

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto -
Your information is incomplete. You need to look at the abandoned spouse exceptions to filing status.

sro

Please re-read what I wrote. As I already said, she could probably file as Head of Household under the abandoned spouse rules (I didn't use that phrase, but what I described is clearly that) if she meets the other requirements.

I do not see anything that would allow her to file as single under abandoned spouse. In fact, one court ruling I came across specifically said that if they are in the process of getting a divorce, the must use married or HoH.

 

[Ohiogal]

What's necessary to meet the Ho rules?

Sleeping around indiscriminately is how you meet Ho rules -- charging is optional.

 

[sroutlaw]

Misto-
LOL on the "cases" - there really aren't going to be many on status etc since those matters are generally decided by private admin. rulings called "letters" - used to be free service by IRS to public. Now costs somewhere upwards of 10K per "ruling" and the "ruling" is not to have the effect of stare decisis - although once one is made, you can generally rely on the IRS to continue in that vein, nonetheless.

Please use proper terminology when giving a poster "options" - as here, the only proper terminology needed for this poster is "abandoned spouse" status. She very likely meets that status and would be wise to use the HoH filing status if she has a Qualifying Child.

 

[Ohiogal]

Misto-
LOL on the "cases" - there really aren't going to be many on status etc since those matters are generally decided by private admin. rulings called "letters" - used to be free service by IRS to public. Now costs somewhere upwards of 10K per "ruling" and the "ruling" is not to have the effect of stare decisis - although once one is made, you can generally rely on the IRS to continue in that vein, nonetheless.

Please use proper terminology when giving a poster "options" - as here, the only proper terminology needed for this poster is "abandoned spouse" status. She very likely meets that status and would be wise to use the HoH filing status if she has a Qualifying Child.

Please post your credentials if you want to start telling people how to post. That way the mods and admins can check your background.