Trapped in an isolated abusive household

[Karyn66]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NH I'm ten years living on an isolated property with a cruel, controlling, verbally, psych., and sometimes physically abusive man. Without getting into details, I know he could potentially murder me. He is heavily addicted to Pot which at times induces paranoia, and rage. I have been at home with my kids and our child for most of the time...he sabotages every effort I make towards freedom.

My life has slipped away and now I want out...a new start. I am going to school in an effort to earn a living wage...or maybe even a good wage...here are my hurdles beside trying to get an education in this house of horrors:

I don't want to live in NH, I can't afford a decent place in a family neighborhood in New England. I was raised in Mass, which is very economically segragated state and it's just not do-able.

My husband is threatening to take my son from me, although, I am an upstanding citizen and he has a criminal record from his distant past. I wouldn't even feel comfortable dropping my son, he's 5, off with him for a weekend.

If I move to one of the Carolina's will the courts make me come back to NH? I do not intend to initiate any legal procedures.

Also, my husband has held control of the money for years...my names aren't on the accounts, however, I have signed his name on checks of all kinds, food, utilities, his child support, vacations, christmas presents...sometimes he'd yell at me for writing checks, other times he's yell at me for not writing checks...now he says he's going to "turn me in" for forging his name...how screwed am I?...I think it's pretty obvious that we had an understanding, but I'm scared. He's holding it over my head.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NH I'm ten years living on an isolated property with a cruel, controlling, verbally, psych., and sometimes physically abusive man. Without getting into details, I know he could potentially murder me. He is heavily addicted to Pot which at times induces paranoia, and rage. I have been at home with my kids and our child for most of the time...he sabotages every effort I make towards freedom.

My life has slipped away and now I want out...a new start. I am going to school in an effort to earn a living wage...or maybe even a good wage...here are my hurdles beside trying to get an education in this house of horrors:

I don't want to live in NH, I can't afford a decent place in a family neighborhood in New England. I was raised in Mass, which is very economically segragated state and it's just not do-able.

My husband is threatening to take my son from me, although, I am an upstanding citizen and he has a criminal record from his distant past. I wouldn't even feel comfortable dropping my son, he's 5, off with him for a weekend.

If I move to one of the Carolina's will the courts make me come back to NH? I do not intend to initiate any legal procedures.

Also, my husband has held control of the money for years...my names aren't on the accounts, however, I have signed his name on checks of all kinds, food, utilities, his child support, vacations, christmas presents...sometimes he'd yell at me for writing checks, other times he's yell at me for not writing checks...now he says he's going to "turn me in" for forging his name...how screwed am I?...I think it's pretty obvious that we had an understanding, but I'm scared. He's holding it over my head.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Yes, the Court could very well order the child back to NH. Depends upon if Dad makes a fuss, and what NH's laws are.

It's his son, too. You don't hold all the rights to him. Be prepared to share a form of legal custody and, if you have primary custody, for Dad to get half of all school breaks and every other weekend at a minimum.

 

[tiredofthedrama]

i am not an attorney
but can hopefully help

i am in nj and have had a similar situation with checks....at the time...i was told by a legal advocate that if i had previously cashed his checks , with his permission, and it was a regular occurance that he could not decide after the check(s) had already been cashed to withdraw permission. basically if he told you you could (especially if this was done previously) and you did..well it's already done. you can't go back in time. furthermore, giving you permission once sets a precidence.


please look at the real issue (and i hope i am not offending or stepping out of line) his alledged threats are to scare you. to cripple you..to keep you from defending yourself..to scare you from seeking help through law enforcement.

 

[tiredofthedrama]

i am not an attorney
but can hopefully help

i am in nj and have had a similar situation with checks....at the time...i was told by a legal advocate that if i had previously cashed his checks , with his permission, and it was a regular occurance that he could not decide after the check(s) had already been cashed to withdraw permission. basically if he told you you could (especially if this was done previously) and you did..well it's already done. you can't go back in time. furthermore, giving you permission once sets a precidence.


please look at the real issue (and i hope i am not offending or stepping out of line) his alledged threats are to scare you. to cripple you..to keep you from defending yourself..to scare you from seeking help through law enforcement.

 

[LdiJ]

i am not an attorney
but can hopefully help

i am in nj and have had a similar situation with checks....at the time...i was told by a legal advocate that if i had previously cashed his checks , with his permission, and it was a regular occurance that he could not decide after the check(s) had already been cashed to withdraw permission. basically if he told you you could (especially if this was done previously) and you did..well it's already done. you can't go back in time. furthermore, giving you permission once sets a precidence.


please look at the real issue (and i hope i am not offending or stepping out of line) his alledged threats are to scare you. to cripple you..to keep you from defending yourself..to scare you from seeking help through law enforcement.

I agree with this advice. Its just a further form of abuse/control.

I suggest that you talk to some people at a local women's shelter. They may be able to provide you some support and resources.

 

[cyjeff]

I agree with this advice. Its just a further form of abuse/control.

I suggest that you talk to some people at a local women's shelter. They may be able to provide you some support and resources.

The only thing I would add is to get out NOW.... right now.