tricked in Salinas

[chrissyluv]

California

One month ago, I married a man that I love very much. We have been together 2 1/2 years. I wanted to marry him, but we married sooner than we had initially planned because he was here on a student visa and was going to have to leave in June if we didn't marry. The wedding was beautiful.

Now I have found out that he is pursuing another woman. I accidently found a series of emails between them that began about 3 months ago. He didn't know her before and I can see the whole progression of their relationship online. I believe now that he married me for a green card.

If I have proof that he was pursuing this woman prior to our marriage do I have grounds for an annulment? Will he be able to get a green card now?
I know I want to end the relationship and I feel like a fool. I would rather have an annulment than a divorce but if I must get a divorce, I want the MOST leverage over him.


Thanks for any advice.

 

[mistoffolees]

California

One month ago, I married a man that I love very much. We have been together 2 1/2 years. I wanted to marry him, but we married sooner than we had initially planned because he was here on a student visa and was going to have to leave in June if we didn't marry. The wedding was beautiful.

Now I have found out that he is pursuing another woman. I accidently found a series of emails between them that began about 3 months ago. He didn't know her before and I can see the whole progression of their relationship online. I believe now that he married me for a green card.

If I have proof that he was pursuing this woman prior to our marriage do I have grounds for an annulment? Will he be able to get a green card now?
I know I want to end the relationship and I feel like a fool. I would rather have an annulment than a divorce but if I must get a divorce, I want the MOST leverage over him.


Thanks for any advice.

No, you don't have grounds for an annulment. Get a divorce and be done with it.

You'll have to ask on the immigration forum about the green card.

 

[chrissyluv]

thanks for the response. I have emails where he states to his girlfriend, "I only married her for the green card." so I was hoping that I could prove that he entered the marriage using fraud. I would have never married him if I thought that was the case. Still, knowing the truth is best and if I need to get a divorce that's what I will do.

Chrissy

 

[Zigner]

thanks for the response. I have emails where he states to his girlfriend, "I only married her for the green card." so I was hoping that I could prove that he entered the marriage using fraud. I would have never married him if I thought that was the case. Still, knowing the truth is best and if I need to get a divorce that's what I will do.

Chrissy

He wouldn't be the first married man to lie to his mistress...

 

[chrissyluv]

No, he wouldn't be the first and I'm sure he won't be the last. I am really just trying to make this all a little easier on my parents, who have already spent a large sum of money on my dream wedding--I know an annulment would be easier to them.
Im heartbroken and confused but I'm only 20--I have plenty of options. I really just want to know what rights I have and what kinds of information and questions will be helpful when I get an attorney.

Chrissy

 

[penelope10]

No, he wouldn't be the first and I'm sure he won't be the last. I am really just trying to make this all a little easier on my parents, who have already spent a large sum of money on my dream wedding--I know an annulment would be easier to them.
Im heartbroken and confused but I'm only 20--I have plenty of options. I really just want to know what rights I have and what kinds of information and questions will be helpful when I get an attorney.

Chrissy

I'm assuming that what your parents might like for you to have is a religious annulment. You can get a religious annulment and get a civil divorce. A civil divorce is going to be simpler than getting a civil annulment.

I have known several individuals that have been granted an annulment through the Catholic Church even though they went through a civil divorce. If this is what you think your parents true concern is then you should talk to priest at your church about how to go about having a religious annulment done. (And have a civil divorce).

 

[Isis1]

No, he wouldn't be the first and I'm sure he won't be the last. I am really just trying to make this all a little easier on my parents, who have already spent a large sum of money on my dream wedding--I know an annulment would be easier to them.
Im heartbroken and confused but I'm only 20--I have plenty of options. I really just want to know what rights I have and what kinds of information and questions will be helpful when I get an attorney.

Chrissy

have you spoken to your husband about this?

because i know a large amount of people that overuse sarcasm (myself included) this could have been a joke of sorts. i tell my husband all the time i only married him for his money. he tell me he only married me for....(then he pretends to forget the real reason).

but if i remember correctly a divorce nullifies the time line for a green card. you have to be married for at least 2 years to qualify. and they take it very seriously.

 

[mistoffolees]

I have known several individuals that have been granted an annulment through the Catholic Church even though they went through a civil divorce. If this is what you think your parents true concern is then you should talk to priest at your church about how to go about having a religious annulment done. (And have a civil divorce).

This is by far the most common scenario. A civil divorce followed by a religious annulment in the Catholic church.

Even if by some miracle she were able to get a civil annulment, she would still need to get the religious annulment in order to be remarried in the Catholic church.

 

[chrissyluv]

I don't really know how my parents will repond but we are Catholic and they have been married forever. They married very young and were supportive. I just feel like I've let everyone down.
He wasn't being sarcastic. He met this girl online about 3 1/2 months ago. Their conversations started innocently but it still seemed to me that he was fishing. Then they secretly started meeting for drinks and who knows what else. When she found out he was getting married, she wanted to stop seeing him and he wrote a very long convincing letter declaring to her that he only married me to get his legal status for himself and his family. I only found all of this by accident because he left his email open and I noticed pages of letters from this girl. Besides being an awful person, he's a moron.

Chrissy

 

[Isis1]

I don't really know how my parents will repond but we are Catholic and they have been married forever. They married very young and were supportive. I just feel like I've let everyone down.
He wasn't being sarcastic. He met this girl online about 3 1/2 months ago. Their conversations started innocently but it still seemed to me that he was fishing. Then they secretly started meeting for drinks and who knows what else. When she found out he was getting married, she wanted to stop seeing him and he wrote a very long convincing letter declaring to her that he only married me to get his legal status for himself and his family. I only found all of this by accident because he left his email open and I noticed pages of letters from this girl. Besides being an awful person, he's a moron.

Chrissy

i am so so sorry. get the divorce, it's quicker and cheaper. get the annulment through the church. you ARE only 20. report him to INS. if anything happens, let karma deal with him.