Is this true?

[Just Blue]

Yup, it's true...and here is the real kicker...Your soon to be ex is going to be the LEGAL father of your child!! AND, until the child is born, you can't get divorced!

After the baby is born you can complete your divorce and your STBX can disestablish paternity and the father of the child can establish paternity.

 

[CJane]

AND, even if the divorce was final RIGHT NOW... if you give birth within 300 days of the date of your divorce, he's STILL the legal father.

As Bay said, paternity will have to be DISestablished and then REestablished with the 'correct' father.

 

[almost done]

i have read a fair amount of your posts and i feel that the REAL question is**************if you and your husband get divorced are you still going to be brother and sister?

 

[Just Blue]

i have read a fair amount of your posts and i feel that the REAL question is**************if you and your husband get divorced are you still going to be brother and sister?

Ooohhhh...Thaaat 'ill leave a mark!

 

[tiffanys]

What!?!
thats terrible! not only have I just yesterday found out that this man stole my identity and is using my ss number to get credit, and has written 900 dollars worth of bad checks in the area. This is preventing me from getting housing. so how can I try to clear up my credit???
why CANT we get divorced? its was already in the works, I have been made custodial parent of our two boys due to his drug abuse, and arrest. [which by the way I still cant figure out how he got out of jail on a 25000 bond, less than a week after he was arrested, only to be walking the streets again]
what can I do?? I cant get housing, I live in my moms yucky dark basement, with two kids yet. I cant get that dept paid on my minimum wage part time job, the only job I got hired at,
[ being pregnant here no one hires you for most jobs they know your not dependable]
I had a lawyer from legal services assigned to my case, earlier, months ago, do you think I should contact him again?
tiffanys

 

[Just Blue]

What!?!
thats terrible! not only have I just yesterday found out that this man stole my identity and is using my ss number to get credit, and has written 900 dollars worth of bad checks in the area. This is preventing me from getting housing. so how can I try to clear up my credit???
why CANT we get divorced? its was already in the works, I have been made custodial parent of our two boys due to his drug abuse, and arrest. [which by the way I still cant figure out how he got out of jail on a 25000 bond, less than a week after he was arrested, only to be walking the streets again]
what can I do?? I cant get housing, I live in my moms yucky dark basement, with two kids yet. I cant get that dept paid on my minimum wage part time job, the only job I got hired at,
[ being pregnant here no one hires you for most jobs they know your not dependable]
I had a lawyer from legal services assigned to my case, earlier, months ago, do you think I should contact him again?
tiffanys

You can't get divorced because you are pregnant. It is that simple. Because you got pregnant while STILL married, the divorce will be postponed until the birth of your child. Perhaps, instead of getting preggers by the new boyfriend, you could have been enrolled in a local college. Then you could move your children out of Mom's yucky dank basement with your new better paying job. You can't adequately provide for the two children you already have and now will end up on State Assistance due to your poor judgment.
You just left your husband in what? January? And already have a boyfriend and FOUR months pregnant! For your children's sake you need to pull it together and stop making selfish, ill thought out decisions!

 

[>Charlotte<]

For your children's sake you need to pull it together and stop making selfish, ill thought out decisions!

And for the sake of those of us who have to carry your ass because you can't be bothered to make mature decisions.

 

[tiffanys]

You can't get divorced because you are pregnant. It is that simple. Because you got pregnant while STILL married, the divorce will be postponed until the birth of your child. Perhaps, instead of getting preggers by the new boyfriend, you could have been enrolled in a local college. Then you could move your children out of Mom's yucky dank basement with your new better paying job. You can't adequately provide for the two children you already have and now will end up on State Assistance due to your poor judgment.
You just left your husband in what? January? And already have a boyfriend and FOUR months pregnant! For your children's sake you need to pull it together and stop making selfish, ill thought out decisions!

PA:we been seperated since oct.06 and he commited adultry 2 wks after we got married and i found out he was selling drugs and doin crack and herroin!thats why i left him !!!!!!!!my boyfriend i got pregnant too in january o7.

 

[nextwife]

PA:we been seperated since oct.06 and he commited adultry 2 wks after we got married and i found out he was selling drugs and doin crack and herroin!thats why i left him !!!!!!!!my boyfriend i got pregnant too in january o7.

Which means you already KNEW before you went out and let yourself get pregnant that her was selling drugs and doing other drugs., Which also means you knew he was unlikely to be a reliable source of CS. Which is also a good reason that your TOP priority should have been learning a sustainable career to support your already born kids, instead of making the situation worse. Women DO actually have a choice about whether to risk pregnancy or not.

 

[tiffanys]

big sister here logging on

sorry to get you guys all riled up, but you answered the simple question.
thank you for that.

I dont think many people know this, but many if not all gyno doctors refuse to tie tubes untill women are 25 years old or have three or more children. she tried twice to get her tubes tied, they told her she was too young. hmm too young to know you dont want kids, but not too young to go to war. [I know others who had the same problem.]
[she was using a form of birth control this time around.]

try not to make too many harsh judgments on people, life is complicated, she already knows that she is responsible for many poor choices. she hears it from me all the time.
no one wants to complicate thier life.
nothing is a simple as we think it should be.
she cant enroll into a local college, there are no funds for it, she was not offered that toption. there is no transportation for her right now to one, and there is no daycare she could pay for, daycare is hard to find here. there are no weekend or night time daycares. our mother is 65 years old, she cant help. and right now this moment my dad is fighting for his life in the ICU. thats our main focus for now.
in our county, there is no more public housing to be found. hud was cut.
if my dad knew she was staying at the house, he would flip. he already is angry at her for her choices.
my sister did have a job, she wanted to get her certification, but the hours conflict with availiable daycare. she will get it when she can.
its just a lot of crap, its a domino effect.
somehow we will work it out.
big sis

 

[Just Blue]

sorry to get you guys all riled up, but you answered the simple question.
thank you for that.

I dont think many people know this, but many if not all gyno doctors refuse to tie tubes untill women are 25 years old or have three or more children. she tried twice to get her tubes tied, they told her she was too young. hmm too young to know you dont want kids, but not too young to go to war. [I know others who had the same problem.]
[she was using a form of birth control this time around.]

try not to make too many harsh judgments on people, life is complicated, she already knows that she is responsible for many poor choices. she hears it from me all the time.
no one wants to complicate thier life.
nothing is a simple as we think it should be.
she cant enroll into a local college, there are no funds for it, she was not offered that toption. there is no transportation for her right now to one, and there is no daycare she could pay for, daycare is hard to find here. there are no weekend or night time daycares. our mother is 65 years old, she cant help. and right now this moment my dad is fighting for his life in the ICU. thats our main focus for now.
in our county, there is no more public housing to be found. hud was cut.
if my dad knew she was staying at the house, he would flip. he already is angry at her for her choices.
my sister did have a job, she wanted to get her certification, but the hours conflict with availiable daycare. she will get it when she can.
its just a lot of crap, its a domino effect.
somehow we will work it out.
big sis

With all this going on she manages to get into a sexual relationship and get pregnant. She is aware that birth control is not 100% and that her existing children were already suffering for the repeated horrible decisions she is making. Yet she just HAD to sleep with this virtual stranger.
Now big sister get on line to defend her...When DO you think she will grow the hell up? When one the guys she shacks up with molests her kids? Or perhaps kills one of them? She's 25 now...do you think she is old enough to think with her head and not her ....ahem...?
How about she do the right thing and place this new child up for adoption since she can't provide for it?

 

[LdiJ]

With all this going on she manages to get into a sexual relationship and get pregnant. She is aware that birth control is not 100% and that her existing children were already suffering for the repeated horrible decisions she is making. Yet she just HAD to sleep with this virtual stranger.
Now big sister get on line to defend her...When DO you think she will grow the hell up? When one the guys she shacks up with molests her kids? Or perhaps kills one of them? She's 25 now...do you think she is old enough to think with her head and not her ....ahem...?
How about she do the right thing and place this new child up for adoption since she can't provide for it?

Whoa hon...way harsh.

 

[Just Blue]

Whoa hon...way harsh.

You think? I don't ...This OP is a menace to her children ...look at her posting history! With the way she picks out men she will end up with one that will molest or beat her kids...It is inevitable unless she grows the hell up!

 

[nextwife]

You think? I don't ...This OP is a menace to her children ...look at her posting history! With the way she picks out men she will end up with one that will molest or beat her kids...It is inevitable unless she grows the hell up!

Bay is correct. And sis's "Hey, she can't get her tubes tied" excuse is pathetic.

It has evidentally never occurred to EITHER of the sisters that mom should STOP blanking around and concentrate on developing work skills so the kids lives can improve. Mom already had two kids that needed her making choices that would IMPROVE their lives. Taking up with low-life drug dealers AND sleeping with them is NOT looking out for their best interests.

Betcha mom chose to have sex with a guy that was not using a condom- because sis is only taklking about mom's birth control failing.. That alone is endangering mom and failing to look out for the kids. She'd be exposing herself to all sorts of STDs, including possibly AIDS.

Women who don't want to risk pregnancy CAN stop sleeping around. That is 100% effective. With such poor judgment the child is indeed better off the a responsible ADULT who is ready, willing and able to make their CHILDREN and their ability to earn a sustainable living their top priority - not the pursuit of men.

 

[tiffanys]

big sister asks, who of you is perfect to cast a stone

This web site is for basic matter of fact requests for info.
And its nice that people respond.
But to inject your opinion, and do it in a critical manor makes me wonder who has too much time.
I wasn't going to come back to this post, because I felt the answer was provided, and I am busy, but as I was cleaning up my bookmarks I remembered this post.
People are well aware of the problems they cause for themselves.
I have stated in my post that my sister is aware that much of her problems are of her own making.
I needn't be accused of defending my sister, shes my sister, yes she made poor choices, and still will make poor choices. it has nothing to do with Growing up, there are many adults that never grow up . remember the prodigal son?
I am not in the wrong for wanting to help her with what I can do.
Maybe a lot of people disown their family when they do stupid things and screw up their life, but Im not going to be guilty of abandoning my family, but I do have limits. I will only do so much.
If we all were perfect, this site wouldn't be needed would it?
gee baystategirl, where did you get the idea her kids were molested? they haven't been.
where did you get the idea her current boyfriend is on drugs? he is not as far as know.
where did you get the idea that she had several men?
she is 26 and this is only her second boyfriend, so sue her for wanting to have a companion. No one wants to be alone. She would still be married if her husband gave an effort to get off drugs and keep the job my husband got for him making good union money. she loved her husband.
where are ALL these posts you are reading?
how would you feel if you had a husband, a car, a home, only to have your husband get involved in drugs, loose his job, his self respect get arrested, and force you to have to leave your home,and a dangerous situation? you'd be desperate and possibly irrational too.
Things are easier said than done in a crooked twisted world void of reason and common sense.
And as far as getting pregnant, well sure that was a stupid thing to do, I agree wholly.
but think about this, if everyone only got pregnant when they had the perfect situation, humankind would disappear.
As I said, some how they will work it out, but certainly not with much help from our legal system. domestic relations takes nearly her boyfriends entire paycheck, not taking into consideration that HE needs to pay for his own upkeep.
I was told that domestic relations is only supposed to take a percentage of your paycheck for child support leaving you with the ability to support yourself. After all, they can only make tops, 8 bucks an hour here, even a teachers aid only makes 8. 50 and hour here. I make more money cleaning homes. And that you dont need a degree to do.
So mistakes or not, how on earth are people to straiten up their life if the government takes everything you have keeping you homeless and unemployed?
when you want to try to fix what you've broken, your certainly not given any credit or any help.