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Uncontested Divorce question

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airman

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? NY
Wife & I separated for 1 year. Filed for divorce. After much time, i withdrew the case as my wife kept tacking things on (survivor benefits, etc.) and i she wanted me to pay $250 for an actuary to figure out her cut of my pension. Based on principle, i just couldn't bend over and take it anymore. It was worth wasting ten thousand dollars in lawyer fees just to watch her cry in the court.

Been legally separated for 7 years now. I want a divorce, but don't wanna go thru the same B/S with having to fill out Statement of Net Worth and supplying paychecks stubs, bank statements, etc. etc. Plus, i don't have that type of cash to spend again. Neither does my wife.

What is an uncontested divorce? Easier? Less expenisive? Does it drag on for years before it is over? Hoping it isn't too involved and my wife and i don't wind up battling it out again in court.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
airman said:
What is the name of your state? NY
Wife & I separated for 1 year. Filed for divorce. After much time, i withdrew the case as my wife kept tacking things on (survivor benefits, etc.) and i she wanted me to pay $250 for an actuary to figure out her cut of my pension. Based on principle, i just couldn't bend over and take it anymore. It was worth wasting ten thousand dollars in lawyer fees just to watch her cry in the court.

Been legally separated for 7 years now. I want a divorce, but don't wanna go thru the same B/S with having to fill out Statement of Net Worth and supplying paychecks stubs, bank statements, etc. etc. Plus, i don't have that type of cash to spend again. Neither does my wife.

What is an uncontested divorce? Easier? Less expenisive? Does it drag on for years before it is over? Hoping it isn't too involved and my wife and i don't wind up battling it out again in court.
An uncontested divorce requires the two of you to agree on things. If you couldn't agree 7 years ago what makes you think that you are going to agree this time around?
 

airman

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
An uncontested divorce requires the two of you to agree on things. If you couldn't agree 7 years ago what makes you think that you are going to agree this time around?
Maybe she learned her lesson and i won't give her everything she wants!

What is a contested divorce then??
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
airman said:
Maybe she learned her lesson and i won't give her everything she wants!

What is a contested divorce then??
uncontested divorce = eveybody agrees on everything

contested divorce = everybody does NOT agree and the judge ends up making the final decision.
 

airman

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
uncontested divorce = eveybody agrees on everything

contested divorce = everybody does NOT agree and the judge ends up making the final decision.
hmmmm......so i'd till have to go thru the same long drawn out process??

looks like i'll be separated forever. i have 25 years with verizon and looks like i'll do another 25. i'll retire the day my wife dies. Unfair that she'll get a % oif my pension as she didn't get me the job nor help me maintain it all these years. I cannot understand why this practice hasn't been ended as nowadays most married couples both work.
 

airman

Junior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
have you been LEGALLY separated or just living apart?
Legally separated as of June 2000. Been living with Mommy and Daddy ever since. It sucks being 43 and living with parents and only seeing my kids on alternate w/e's.
OJ did nothing wrong!!
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
have you been LEGALLY separated or just living apart?
So what was agreed upon in the legal separation is binding (supposedly). That is what this attoreny is alluding to.

If you do not live up to that agreement, shame on you. The court will hammer you.

If she doesn't live up to the agreement, tough sh@t!!
 

airman

Junior Member
Bali Hai said:
So what was agreed upon in the legal separation is binding (supposedly). That is what this attoreny is alluding to.
Nothing is binding if you have enough money.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
One thing that you have to realize, is that if she wants a divorce she is going to get one, whether you like it or not. You will still have to provide all of the documentation and details for the court whether you like it or not, and the marital assets will be divided whether you like it or not.

The longer you delay, the murkier things could become in terms of assets. You should really just bite the bullet and get it over with. Yes, I understand that you resent having to divide assets that you consider to be yours, but that is a fact of life when you divorce.

So, you can either sit down with her and divide up everything 50/50, (based on the way things were when you separated...and only those assets or portions of assets that accrued during the marriage) and do this without attorneys. Or, you can eventually end up spending a bundle of money on attorneys and STILL end up having to divide it 50/50 anyway.
 

airman

Junior Member
LdiJ said:
One thing that you have to realize, is that if she wants a divorce she is going to get one, whether you like it or not. You will still have to provide all of the documentation and details for the court whether you like it or not, and the marital assets will be divided whether you like it or not.

The longer you delay, the murkier things could become in terms of assets. You should really just bite the bullet and get it over with. Yes, I understand that you resent having to divide assets that you consider to be yours, but that is a fact of life when you divorce.

So, you can either sit down with her and divide up everything 50/50, (based on the way things were when you separated...and only those assets or portions of assets that accrued during the marriage) and do this without attorneys. Or, you can eventually end up spending a bundle of money on attorneys and STILL end up having to divide it 50/50 anyway.
I hear ya. The only plus is...after the 1st attempt fell apart and i withdrew the case, she got fired from her job and was unemployed for two years. I know she struggled to pay her bills, mortage, etc due to it. Even though it has been several years, i don't think she wants to dump another $10,000 for a lawyer (either do i). We'll probably both stay in separation limbo. No biggie as i'll never wanna get married again.
 

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