Unsure of my rights

[Dartune]

What is the name of your state? Washington

I've got lots of little questions, never thought I'd see myself in this situation. My husband and I have been married almost 20 years (next month is our anniversary). Last year about this time he began an affair with a coffee shop worker. I found out about the affair after he told me that he needed to "find himself", several months after the affair started. During the summer he was home off and on, then in Sept. rented himself a home and signed a lease. He has been back and forth since then (he had signed a lease through May). He had been home for awhile and recently decided that he needed some time away from me and went back out to his lake home. He has told me that the affair with the coffee shop worker has been over several months, however, part of me has my doubts. We have done the counseling thing and began communicating with each other more than we have done in several years, but haven't really done anything else to begin the repairs on our marriage. He is a business owner and last spring removed my name off his business and moved money from our joint accounts to accounts with his name only and also that of our children. We have two children, a 14 year old and a 10 year old. I have remained in the family home this entire time taking care of our children. I work full time and currently pay all the health insurance for our children and also my husband. He will pitch in every once in awhile with money, but in the end I feel guilty for asking for the help. I know that Washington State is a community property state. We do not have a mortgage on our home and are basically debt free. If divorce is going to be our end result, is there more benefit on who does the filing first? How does the child support work? I believe that the kids would want to remain with me. I don't understand how anything works and want to make sure that I am not screwed over if he decides that he wants the divorce.

[bononos]

Originally Posted by Dartune

What is the name of your state? Washington

I've got lots of little questions, never thought I'd see myself in this situation. My husband and I have been married almost 20 years (next month is our anniversary). Last year about this time he began an affair with a coffee shop worker. I found out about the affair after he told me that he needed to "find himself", several months after the affair started. During the summer he was home off and on, then in Sept. rented himself a home and signed a lease. He has been back and forth since then (he had signed a lease through May). He had been home for awhile and recently decided that he needed some time away from me and went back out to his lake home. He has told me that the affair with the coffee shop worker has been over several months, however, part of me has my doubts. We have done the counseling thing and began communicating with each other more than we have done in several years, but haven't really done anything else to begin the repairs on our marriage. He is a business owner and last spring removed my name off his business and moved money from our joint accounts to accounts with his name only and also that of our children. We have two children, a 14 year old and a 10 year old. I have remained in the family home this entire time taking care of our children. I work full time and currently pay all the health insurance for our children and also my husband. He will pitch in every once in awhile with money, but in the end I feel guilty for asking for the help. I know that Washington State is a community property state. We do not have a mortgage on our home and are basically debt free. If divorce is going to be our end result, is there more benefit on who does the filing first? How does the child support work? I believe that the kids would want to remain with me. I don't understand how anything works and want to make sure that I am not screwed over if he decides that he wants the divorce.

Maybe it's high time that YOU decide to get the divorce.
I suggest you start by finding a good family law attorney.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dartune

What is the name of your state? Washington

I've got lots of little questions, never thought I'd see myself in this situation. My husband and I have been married almost 20 years (next month is our anniversary). Last year about this time he began an affair with a coffee shop worker. I found out about the affair after he told me that he needed to "find himself", several months after the affair started. During the summer he was home off and on, then in Sept. rented himself a home and signed a lease. He has been back and forth since then (he had signed a lease through May). He had been home for awhile and recently decided that he needed some time away from me and went back out to his lake home. He has told me that the affair with the coffee shop worker has been over several months, however, part of me has my doubts. We have done the counseling thing and began communicating with each other more than we have done in several years, but haven't really done anything else to begin the repairs on our marriage. He is a business owner and last spring removed my name off his business and moved money from our joint accounts to accounts with his name only and also that of our children. We have two children, a 14 year old and a 10 year old. I have remained in the family home this entire time taking care of our children. I work full time and currently pay all the health insurance for our children and also my husband. He will pitch in every once in awhile with money, but in the end I feel guilty for asking for the help. I know that Washington State is a community property state. We do not have a mortgage on our home and are basically debt free. If divorce is going to be our end result, is there more benefit on who does the filing first? How does the child support work? I believe that the kids would want to remain with me. I don't understand how anything works and want to make sure that I am not screwed over if he decides that he wants the divorce.

It appears that your biggest concern here is that he has an affair with a coffee shop worker. Don't you like coffee??