want to end it!

[dhcdmc]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut
wife filed 1st and day b4 going to trial she withdrew, not happy with the settlement the judge was giving--so I had to file and go thru 90 day wait and then case management, and now going to status conference in another 2 months--why cant this go right to trial again?--thereis no changes since last case, no new discovery needed, -i feel as if the lawyers are stalling because they know my wife and i cant communicate--what do i do to get to trial the fastest??

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by dhcdmc

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Connecticut
wife filed 1st and day b4 going to trial she withdrew, not happy with the settlement the judge was giving--so I had to file and go thru 90 day wait and then case management, and now going to status conference in another 2 months--why cant this go right to trial again?--thereis no changes since last case, no new discovery needed, -i feel as if the lawyers are stalling because they know my wife and i cant communicate--what do i do to get to trial the fastest??

Generally, there is little that can be done to speed up the process. That's just the way it is.

However, your allegation that people are intentionally delaying it doesn't seem to be correct. When your stbx dropped her case, it no longer exists. You HAVE to start from scratch - you can't pick up where she left off. It is NOT an extension of her case, it's a brand new case - and would be exactly the same as if she had never filed.

[dhcdmc]

thanks Mist--just seems unfair to have to wait again so long-oh well.
i guess my biggest fear is during this whole process of almost 1 1/2 years i have been in a relationship with another woman and i am afraid she is going to try to use that against me as leverage for her getting a bigger piece of the settlement. currently she is livivng in the house with my youngest (13) and I have been paying half my pay to the household during all this. I have had to rent a 2 room apt and now that lease has run out and I had nowhere else to go and moved in with this other woman--can she use this other woman against me?

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by dhcdmc

thanks Mist--just seems unfair to have to wait again so long-oh well.
i guess my biggest fear is during this whole process of almost 1 1/2 years i have been in a relationship with another woman and i am afraid she is going to try to use that against me as leverage for her getting a bigger piece of the settlement. currently she is livivng in the house with my youngest (13) and I have been paying half my pay to the household during all this. I have had to rent a 2 room apt and now that lease has run out and I had nowhere else to go and moved in with this other woman--can she use this other woman against me?

Well...CT does allow a petition based upon adultery - and it can potentially be used against you.

Since Connecticut is an "equitable distribution" state, the marital property shall be divided in an equitable fashion. Equitable does not mean equal, but rather what is fair. The court will encourage the parties to reach a settlement on property and debt issues otherwise the court will declare the property award.

Assignment of property and transfer of title. (a) at the time of entering a decree annulling or dissolving a marriage or for legal separation pursuant to a complaint under Section 46b-45, the Superior Court may assign to either the husband or wife all or any part of the estate of the other. The court may pass title to real property to either party or to a third person or may order the sale of such real property, without any act by either the husband or the wife, when in the judgment of the court it is the proper mode to carry the decree into effect.

The court shall consider the following factors in determining the appropriate property distribution award: length of the marriage, the causes for the annulment, dissolution of the marriage or legal separation, the age, health, station, occupation, amount and sources of income, vocational skills, employability, estate, liabilities and needs of each of the parties and the opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income. The court shall also consider the contribution of each of the parties in the acquisition, preservation or appreciation in value of their respective estates. (Connecticut General Statutes - Title 46b - Chapter 81)

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by dhcdmc

thanks Mist--just seems unfair to have to wait again so long-oh well.
i guess my biggest fear is during this whole process of almost 1 1/2 years i have been in a relationship with another woman and i am afraid she is going to try to use that against me as leverage for her getting a bigger piece of the settlement. currently she is livivng in the house with my youngest (13) and I have been paying half my pay to the household during all this. I have had to rent a 2 room apt and now that lease has run out and I had nowhere else to go and moved in with this other woman--can she use this other woman against me?

Yes.

You could have chosen to stay in the marital home until you could afford to live elsewhere (or until the court ordered you to leave). No one made you move in with someone else.

You're married, so you're guilty of adultery which can affect the property settlement in CT.

[dhcdmc]

actually innocent until proven guilty!-the agreement was for me to vacate the home until divorced.--the process has taken so long that during the whole matter I have started to see someone else (as has she). Now that this is into almost 1 & 1/2 years our lives have changed---the relationship is not the cause of the breakdown but yet a result of the breakdown, our marriage has been dead for years. She is very devious and just would like to know others experiences in matters of similiar circumstances.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by dhcdmc

actually innocent until proven guilty!-the agreement was for me to vacate the home until divorced.--the process has taken so long that during the whole matter I have started to see someone else (as has she). Now that this is into almost 1 & 1/2 years our lives have changed---the relationship is not the cause of the breakdown but yet a result of the breakdown, our marriage has been dead for years. She is very devious and just would like to know others experiences in matters of similiar circumstances.

It doesn't matter whether you consider the marriage to be dead. You're still married to her and seeing someone else. If there's any sexual component to the relationship, you're guilty of adultery. The same is true of her.

'Innocent until proven guilty' applies to criminal cases. In civil cases (presumably including divorce, although I'm not 100% sure), the standard is preponderance of evidence. That is, if she can provide more evidence that you're committing adultery than you can provide disproving it, she wins. In general, if the woman is spending the night with you in the home, it's going to be pretty well assumed that adultery is occurring.

If either of you can prove that the other is committing adultery, it could have an impact in court. Of course, if you both are, it could cancel out.