We thought the divorce was final but.......

[Kansas4me]

What is the name of your state?Missouri

My brother filed for a divorce. He went through the classes the court ordered, but his wife refused to. Instead she quite her job thinking that they could not proceed if she was out of work. She missed the first court date. Proceedings went on and because she had failed to get a lawyer she didnt' know about them. My brother went in on 3-1 and was awarded custody of the three kids that are his (the oldest isn't his) and the house (it is only a rental home) but he was told that the divorce wouldn't be final for 30 days. In all this time she was still living in the home. He was advised not to rock the boat till everything was said and done.

She went to church sunday and a lady at church showed her the announcement in the paper about the divorce. Needless to say the stuff hit the fan, and the police were called out (by the neighbor who heard the screaming) they escorted her out. Now she told my brother that she was going to cut his "ba11s" off and take everything.

Is any of what the lawyer told my brother correct? there is a 30 day waiting period, even though the divorce had been filed for and in process for months? What can she do now? She choose to bury her head in the sand and act like it would go away, he even reminded her of the court date for the first one, but she said oh well.

Our parents are still married, so this is the first divorce any of us have had to deal with. So I am at a total loss as to whether my brother is getting good/bad advice, or if he is lieing to us. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Missouri

My brother filed for a divorce. He went through the classes the court ordered, but his wife refused to. Instead she quite her job thinking that they could not proceed if she was out of work. She missed the first court date. Proceedings went on and because she had failed to get a lawyer she didnt' know about them. My brother went in on 3-1 and was awarded custody of the three kids that are his (the oldest isn't his) and the house (it is only a rental home) but he was told that the divorce wouldn't be final for 30 days. In all this time she was still living in the home. He was advised not to rock the boat till everything was said and done.

She went to church sunday and a lady at church showed her the announcement in the paper about the divorce. Needless to say the stuff hit the fan, and the police were called out (by the neighbor who heard the screaming) they escorted her out. Now she told my brother that she was going to cut his "ba11s" off and take everything.

Is any of what the lawyer told my brother correct? there is a 30 day waiting period, even though the divorce had been filed for and in process for months? What can she do now? She choose to bury her head in the sand and act like it would go away, he even reminded her of the court date for the first one, but she said oh well.

Our parents are still married, so this is the first divorce any of us have had to deal with. So I am at a total loss as to whether my brother is getting good/bad advice, or if he is lieing to us. Any help would be appreciated.

Whether she had an attorney or not it was required that she be "served". If your brother's attorney made the MONUMENTAL mistake of attempting to serve her by publication, rather than personal service...yes things could really be messy.

However if mom was simply a "no show" after having recieved proper service she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Your brother needs to either rely on his attorney or get a consult with another one.

 

[Kansas4me]

No she was served in person at her work. The paper work she was served with said my brother got the three kids and the house, but because of some wording he wasn't sure about he didn't press the issue on her getting out of the house. When he talked to his lawyer she told him to just sit tight if he could cause it would look better on him if he didn't kick her out on her ear through all this. So he put up with HELL for several months while this all played out. She knew about the court date, she had the same paperwork he got. The first court date came and she didnt' show up. But from there she wouldn't ahve known about the court dates since she didn't show up, or call, or anything. There was one after that one, and that was on 3/1 where the judge set child support, and said the papers would be final in 30 days.

 

[Kansas4me]

Okay in another thread you said default by judgment, which appears to be what the judge did for my brother. but he said that it isn't all final for 30 days, so now she wants to fight it. Can she do that or is she out of luck?

 

[LdiJ]

Okay in another thread you said default by judgment, which appears to be what the judge did for my brother. but he said that it isn't all final for 30 days, so now she wants to fight it. Can she do that or is she out of luck?

She may be able to fight it. There is usually some time frame in which a default judgement can be re-opened. She may not be able to stop the actual divorce itself, but the property settlement and child custody matters may be something she can re-open.

 

[Kansas4me]

That is what we were afraid of. I don't think she wants to stop the divorce. She has had numerous affairs so it is clear she doesn't care for my brother. She made the comment that she wasn't filing for a divorce cause she was going to make him pay for it all, so she would force him to file. She won on that account. (forcing him to file)

The assets were divided 50-50 per my brothers request, the judge told him he could have it all since she didn't bother to show up, but my brother said he preferred not to play it that way, so I am sure that will stand.

The kids are the ones that worry us the most. I won't bore you with the details, but if she gets primary custody it is assured we will never get to see the kids. There is also the fear of her running off with them as she has already done this once. Will that play into the judges decision for custody? What about job stability or ability to support them. My brother has a gov job making decent money, she makes min wage and she bounces from job to job. They are already threatening to tell the judge that my brother beats the kids (which is not true) The kdis want to go with my brother, can they have a say in it, they are 12, 10, 7.

In addition there is a step child. My brother started dating her when the baby was 2 weeks old. They were married by the time he was 6 months old. He didn't even know my brother wasn't his dad till last year when she told him he didn't have to listen to my brother cause he wasn't his father anyway (what a way to break it to a kid) He is almost 13. Does my brother have a chance at some sort of visitation with him?