What about Christmas Eve.

[gogirlaz]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?AZ
My husband has sporatically been violent in the past.(Smashed a computer, punched me) He has always spanked the kids. But this fall he attacked our oldest son(17) from behind and slammed him(his head) repeatedly into the refrigerator. My son was getting a drink of water and getting ready to leave with my husband for school. I had to physically stop him and made him leave. He left for 5 days then wanted to come back. I told him he needed to get counseling as did I for putting up with him and also our son might need counselling too.
He has now filed for divorce, but he wants to visit the kids. I did not file a police report when he attacked our son. It was two months ago. Our son has made a dramatic personality change for the better since he left, more confident and outgoing. I am going to see a lawyer next week. SHould I let him visit the kids? He particularly wants to see our oldest son, I don't really want him to. Do I file a police report now? Can he see the kids? They are all over 12. Does how they feel about it matter. One is ok seeing him two are not.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?AZ
My husband has sporatically been violent in the past.(Smashed a computer, punched me) He has always spanked the kids. But this fall he attacked our oldest son(17) from behind and slammed him(his head) repeatedly into the refrigerator. My son was getting a drink of water and getting ready to leave with my husband for school. I had to physically stop him and made him leave. He left for 5 days then wanted to come back. I told him he needed to get counseling as did I for putting up with him and also our son might need counselling too.
He has now filed for divorce, but he wants to visit the kids. I did not file a police report when he attacked our son. It was two months ago. Our son has made a dramatic personality change for the better since he left, more confident and outgoing. I am going to see a lawyer next week. SHould I let him visit the kids? He particularly wants to see our oldest son, I don't really want him to. Do I file a police report now? Can he see the kids? They are all over 12. Does how they feel about it matter. One is ok seeing him two are not.

Ok...the legal answer first.

No, you do not have to allow him to visit the kids until a judge orders you to do so. However, sometimes that can leave a bad taste in a judge's mouth and can effect a final decision regarding custody.

My personal opinion**************..

I don't think he should see the kids, particularly the 17 year old, until he attends some individual counseling first, and then some joint counseling with the kids. A judge may or may not agree with my.

It would probably be wise to ask the judge to appoint a GAL for the kids. (guardian ad litem, an avocate for the best interest of the kids)

Odds are that your 17 year old is going to get to decide whether or not to visit dad.....because by the time its all said and done, he is going to be close enough to age 18, that a judge won't force him to visit.