What to ask for?

[flgirl32]

What is the name of your state? Florida

After the emergence of ex from prison and a harrassing phone call, I consulted an attorney about the possibility of getting his parental rights terminated, mostly on the grounds of abandonment. I would like to get married next year and have my partner adopt.

My ex currently has no judgment for visitation but does have one for CS which has only been paid sporadically some years back.

The atty advised filing a motion for contempt, but I am wondering which box to check for punishment I am looking for. I am guessing it is too early in the game to ask for incarceration for non-payment. Can I ask for enforcement of previous judgement and a coercive fine?

If so, does the coercive fine go to the court or is it part of CS?

Will filing for contempt help me prove abandonment?

Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Florida

After the emergence of ex from prison and a harrassing phone call, I consulted an attorney about the possibility of getting his parental rights terminated, mostly on the grounds of abandonment. I would like to get married next year and have my partner adopt.

My ex currently has no judgment for visitation but does have one for CS which has only been paid sporadically some years back.

The atty advised filing a motion for contempt, but I am wondering which box to check for punishment I am looking for. I am guessing it is too early in the game to ask for incarceration for non-payment. Can I ask for enforcement of previous judgement and a coercive fine?

If so, does the coercive fine go to the court or is it part of CS?

Will filing for contempt help me prove abandonment?

Thanks

I am not sure that filing for contempt is the best strategy if you want to prove abandonment. If he starts paying CS again, even sporatically, then he no longer will have "abandoned" the child.

 

[brisgirl825]

I am not sure that filing for contempt is the best strategy if you want to prove abandonment. If he starts paying CS again, even sporatically, then he no longer will have "abandoned" the child.

That is true but I would like to add that there may be other grounds for TPR.

What was your ex incarcerated for and how long was he in prison?

If your ex is the kind that will demand visitation b/c you went after cs, you may want to rethink your decision here. You obviously have supported the child on your own, so you are not in need of cs. My personal opinion is to let this go and deal with TPR and adoption in the future. Of course, your fiance is wanting to adopt the child, correct?

http://library.adoption.com/termination-of-parental-rights/grounds-for-termination-of-parental-rights-florida/article/8449/1.html

 

[BelizeBreeze]

He has not abandonned the child. He was in prison.

 

[LdiJ]

He has not abandonned the child. He was in prison.

That counts as abandonment is some states...its true, I haven't checked it for FL and we also don't know how long he blew off the child before he went to prision....or if he did at all.

However that doesn't change the basic advice....hauling him into court is likely to re-establish his connection with the child even if he previously met the qualifications for abandonment.

 

[flgirl32]

more details

florida

My ex was most recently in prison for felony assault for 13 months. He'd called her one time before he went in. Prior to that he's had more than one run in with the law and was in prison for two years, 96 - 98.

We split after that incarceration when he would not settle down, he expressed a need to experience all the things which he'd missed out on. Over the years he's had relationships with other women and been the father figure for their kids, suppooting them etc...so from 98 till now we've only had a handful of phone calls and a handful of CS payments due to his inability to provide the $10 per day that was ordered.

Child support is not an issue with me, I can support my child and have felt that not going after him is kind of like paying to keep him out of the way. I believe his possession charges would help me prove to the judge that he is an addict and an alchoholic.

My daughter refers to my fiance as her Daddy, he wants to adopt once we are married and after explaining what it means, my daughter would like it too.

I would like to file for termination, but thought I needed a paper trail of contempt of court notices for non-payment of CS etc... before it would be considered, since I have the burden of proving he has not been around.

I guess what the meat and bones question is, what kind of paperwork do I need to prove he needs to be out of the picture? My daughter will tell a judge she has no relationship with her Bio, but he will swear with tears in his eyes that he loves her and won't give her up for anything.

Thanks to all

 

[LdiJ]

florida

My ex was most recently in prison for felony assault for 13 months. He'd called her one time before he went in. Prior to that he's had more than one run in with the law and was in prison for two years, 96 - 98.

We split after that incarceration when he would not settle down, he expressed a need to experience all the things which he'd missed out on. Over the years he's had relationships with other women and been the father figure for their kids, suppooting them etc...so from 98 till now we've only had a handful of phone calls and a handful of CS payments due to his inability to provide the $10 per day that was ordered.

Child support is not an issue with me, I can support my child and have felt that not going after him is kind of like paying to keep him out of the way. I believe his possession charges would help me prove to the judge that he is an addict and an alchoholic.

My daughter refers to my fiance as her Daddy, he wants to adopt once we are married and after explaining what it means, my daughter would like it too.

I would like to file for termination, but thought I needed a paper trail of contempt of court notices for non-payment of CS etc... before it would be considered, since I have the burden of proving he has not been around.

I guess what the meat and bones question is, what kind of paperwork do I need to prove he needs to be out of the picture? My daughter will tell a judge she has no relationship with her Bio, but he will swear with tears in his eyes that he loves her and won't give her up for anything.

Thanks to all

Go get yourself a consult with an attorney...you may have enough now for a TPR.

 

[flgirl32]

not sure about attorney

Hi and thanks,

the attorney I went to see said there are two options.

1. Go ahead and try for TPR although some judges would say that any past effort at all on my ex's part and his promise to "do better" would be enough to keep his parental rights

2. Pressure the ex for child support arrearage until he gets tired of it and offer him a deal - termination of rights for forgiving the debt.

I am afraid that pursuing the child support will consitute involvment on his part, and I am afraid that asking for termination without documentation that I tried to enforce CS would make the judge side with my ex.

Is it my responsibility to prove he has not been around, or his to prove that he was substantially a part of the child's life?

Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

Hi and thanks,

the attorney I went to see said there are two options.

1. Go ahead and try for TPR although some judges would say that any past effort at all on my ex's part and his promise to "do better" would be enough to keep his parental rights

2. Pressure the ex for child support arrearage until he gets tired of it and offer him a deal - termination of rights for forgiving the debt.

I am afraid that pursuing the child support will consitute involvment on his part, and I am afraid that asking for termination without documentation that I tried to enforce CS would make the judge side with my ex.

Is it my responsibility to prove he has not been around, or his to prove that he was substantially a part of the child's life?

Thanks

You have a local attorney. Your attorney is the best person to answer those questions.