What can he get?

[fedupinnc]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
Married for 18 years. Husband generally made as much or more than I did until the last year of our marriage. We are now separated. He got violent one evening, broke down a door, struck one of our children, so I got a restraining order. He is now trying to get his half of everything, wants some custody of children (they are teens), child support, alimony, separation support, and payment of his legal fees. His claim is he is not capable of earning wages. He lost his job last year, but is physically capable of working. I work for the state and have a salary as well as state retirement. What can he get?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
Married for 18 years. Husband generally made as much or more than I did until the last year of our marriage. We are now separated. He got violent one evening, broke down a door, struck one of our children, so I got a restraining order. He is now trying to get his half of everything, wants some custody of children (they are teens), child support, alimony, separation support, and payment of his legal fees. His claim is he is not capable of earning wages. He lost his job last year, but is physically capable of working. I work for the state and have a salary as well as state retirement. What can he get?

He can get half of all marital assets and debts, maybe some alimony/separation support, custody of the children (joint at least) and maybe child support as well as payment of his legal fees. Whether he gets all that depends on a lot of things not mentioned.

 

[Ohiogal]

Of course there are questions that come to mind:

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I want a divorce. My husband has turned into a religious fanatic.He walks around the house speaking in tongues and has even told me and the children we would go to hell if we didn't leave the church we attend. He is out of work and not really actively searching. He basically sits home all day long and plays on the computer or visits questionable websites. I work,pay all the bills, and take care of all the children's needs. I have health insurance coverage on the children as well as dental. We own our home. I pay the mortgage and mortgage insurance. His name is on the deed, but I am primary on the mortgage. HOW do I get him out of the house and out of my life? He says he will never divorce because that is a sin in God's eyes.

When did he become violent compared to when you posted the above? Where is he living now? When did you get the restraining order? Does the restraining order cover the children? Do you have health insurance coverage on your husband?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
Married for 18 years. Husband generally made as much or more than I did until the last year of our marriage. We are now separated. He got violent one evening, broke down a door, struck one of our children, so I got a restraining order. He is now trying to get his half of everything, wants some custody of children (they are teens), child support, alimony, separation support, and payment of his legal fees. His claim is he is not capable of earning wages. He lost his job last year, but is physically capable of working. I work for the state and have a salary as well as state retirement. What can he get?

I would recommend that you get an attorney. He is likely going to get 1/2 of the assets that accrued during the marriage and be responsible for 1/2 of the debts, but all of the rest is a very big maybe.

With the violence and the restraining order, and the fact that your children are teens, I cannot see him getting enough custody for child support to be any more than a very remote possibility.

 

[fedupinnc]

what can he get?

He got violent within days of that first post. I have a lawyer. Insurance is only on kids. He is drawing unemployment and said he could insure himself. My lawyer doesn't seem to think he can get custody. We refinanced our home 6 months ago, so there is no equity. (we cashed that out at closing to pay bills since he was not working.) Children don't want to see him much less live with him. Would a judge make them go to him?

 

[fedupinnc]

what can he get?

The night he got violent, I got the restraining order. He lives in an apartment in a neighboring town.

 

[LdiJ]

The night he got violent, I got the restraining order. He lives in an apartment in a neighboring town.

Does the restraining order include the children? You said that they were teens but how old are they?

How did he come up with the money to get the apartment?, or to retain an attorney for that matter?

 

[fedupinnc]

what can he get?

The restraining order was for the children until Feb 28th. For me for a year. He used a credit card to retain a lawyer and I assume he pays his bills with his unemployment benefits.
The children are 17,13, and 10.

 

[LdiJ]

The restraining order was for the children until Feb 28th. For me for a year. He used a credit card to retain a lawyer and I assume he pays his bills with his unemployment benefits.
The children are 17,13, and 10.

The 17 year old is probably going to be able to decide whether or not to see his/her father. Odds are that she will be 18 (and therefore in charge of who he/she does or doesn't see) before all is said and done, or so close to 18 that no judge would force him/her into a visitation schedule.

The other two are still young enough that they will be subject to a visitation schedule, but it would be difficult for dad to get primary custody if they don't want to live with dad. The violence will also play into things fairly heavily.

I will also say that alimony is quite unlikely, since his unemployment is recent enough that he is still collecting unemployment compensation. You have an attorney. You should really be listening to the advice of your attorney.