what can I do

[schmike17]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

My wife and I seperated in May. Within a month she quit her job accepted a new one and moved her and our girls 2 1/2 hours away from our home. She told me she was not happy and wanted a divorce but has yet to file. She wants me to pick up the girls every other weekend and I have told her i need some time to get my life in order and know it will hurt to pick up and drop off the girls for a while, especially with our short time involved in this and her quick decision making and unwillingness to try counseling or anything to make it work. We were having no problems this just happened overnight. she is blaming me for hurting the girls by not seeing them for more than a couple of hours when i can get there. did she have the right to decide she was the custodial parent like this and just move away before getting the divorce underway? She left me with a mortgage I cant afford on my own especially with child support which is yet to come. where do I go from here and what can i do? any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota

My wife and I seperated in May. Within a month she quit her job accepted a new one and moved her and our girls 2 1/2 hours away from our home. She told me she was not happy and wanted a divorce but has yet to file.

So why the heck don't you get off your butt and you file?

She wants me to pick up the girls every other weekend and I have told her i need some time to get my life in order and know it will hurt to pick up and drop off the girls for a while, especially with our short time involved in this and her quick decision making and unwillingness to try counseling or anything to make it work.

So you pick up the girls and who says you have to return them? You are their father and have just as much right to primary custody as she does. Get your butt to court.

We were having no problems this just happened overnight. she is blaming me for hurting the girls by not seeing them for more than a couple of hours when i can get there.

Well it is selfish and short sighted of both of you and you are both acting horribly.

did she have the right to decide she was the custodial parent like this and just move away before getting the divorce underway?

Yep. Especially since you are backing up that decision daily by waiting for her file, and only seeing the girls according to what she says and not having the children with you. Should I continue?

She left me with a mortgage I cant afford on my own especially with child support which is yet to come.

Then you will have to sell the house.

where do I go from here and what can i do? any advice would be appreciated.

Grow up. File for divorce with a parenting affidavit and ask for custody of the children, child support and your wife to pay half the marital debts. Try being an adult and a parent.

 

[LdiJ]

So why the heck don't you get off your butt and you file?



So you pick up the girls and who says you have to return them? You are their father and have just as much right to primary custody as she does. Get your butt to court.



Well it is selfish and short sighted of both of you and you are both acting horribly.



Yep. Especially since you are backing up that decision daily by waiting for her file, and only seeing the girls according to what she says and not having the children with you. Should I continue?


Then you will have to sell the house.




Grow up. File for divorce with a parenting affidavit and ask for custody of the children, child support and your wife to pay half the marital debts. Try being an adult and a parent.

I agree with all of this advice except the advice to pick up the kids and refuse to return them. I think that just starts and unholy war and guarantees a bad co-parenting relationship from the get go.

Get your butt to court and get the judge to order her to return the children to the home community, or to give you temporary custody pending the finalization of the divorce. However, you need to do it quickly.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree with all of this advice except the advice to pick up the kids and refuse to return them. I think that just starts and unholy war and guarantees a bad co-parenting relationship from the get go.

Get your butt to court and get the judge to order her to return the children to the home community, or to give you temporary custody pending the finalization of the divorce. However, you need to do it quickly.

I agree with you. HOWEVER, my point was that no one has stated he has to return them except mom who quite frankly does not have the right to dictate that. Yes it would be an issue HOWEVER if he gets his butt to court and has the children with him, he can keep them until the court gives another order.