What constitutes Abandonment...

[Franklinj]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New York

Hello Everyone.
I'm currently in a situation with my wife that I will most likely be broaching the topic of separation very soon. We have a 2 year old son whom we both love dearly. My wife is currently a stay at home mother.

Here is my question. After the discussion of Separation happens, staying in the same house will prove to be very akward, and most likely not create a very happy environment for our child, which is important to me does not happen. I know not having Daddy around will be a shock, but it will be better than him sensning all the rest of what will come. Thats besides the point, anyway...

In light of the fact that my wife is a stay at home mother and will need to seek employment at some point, I know she will need the current apartment we have. I have plenty of friends who are willing to put me up for a while. I will be able to pay for the apartment for another month or so since I will be crashing at a friends place. Although I need to know if this would be considered abandonment. God knows thats not what i'm trying or want to do.

What is normally done between the time that a separation is discussed and a serparation agreement is reached and made legal? Does the couple still stay in the same residence as previous? Is it okay for one to crash at anothers place until the agreement is reached, and alternative living arrangements can be arranged?

I LOVE my child, and don't hate my wife. Although I dont' think that being so close to eachother will be a good thing after we discuss separation. But I don't want my actions to be viewed as abondoment. Any advice?

Regards,
Franklin

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? New York

Hello Everyone.
I'm currently in a situation with my wife that I will most likely be broaching the topic of separation very soon. We have a 2 year old son whom we both love dearly. My wife is currently a stay at home mother.

Here is my question. After the discussion of Separation happens, staying in the same house will prove to be very akward, and most likely not create a very happy environment for our child, which is important to me does not happen. I know not having Daddy around will be a shock, but it will be better than him sensning all the rest of what will come. Thats besides the point, anyway...

In light of the fact that my wife is a stay at home mother and will need to seek employment at some point, I know she will need the current apartment we have. I have plenty of friends who are willing to put me up for a while. I will be able to pay for the apartment for another month or so since I will be crashing at a friends place. Although I need to know if this would be considered abandonment. God knows thats not what i'm trying or want to do.

What is normally done between the time that a separation is discussed and a serparation agreement is reached and made legal? Does the couple still stay in the same residence as previous? Is it okay for one to crash at anothers place until the agreement is reached, and alternative living arrangements can be arranged?

I LOVE my child, and don't hate my wife. Although I dont' think that being so close to eachother will be a good thing after we discuss separation. But I don't want my actions to be viewed as abondoment. Any advice?

Regards,
Franklin

Its normal that when a couple separates one of them moves out. Therefore it really wouldn't be considered abandonment. Many attorneys however will advise that a person NOT move out until preliminary matters are settled. However I happen to agree with you, I don't think it would create a very good atmosphere for the child.

Think this through very carefully though. Think about all of the ramifications and make sure that this is really what you want to do. Marriage takes work...its not easy and you get back what you put into it.

 

[Franklinj]

Thank you for your response and advice.

I agree that putting thought into this situation is very important, and have been for the past 2 years. It took a lot of time to come to this conclusion. Its not easy to finally realize that I can be a better Father to my son and be the nicer/gentler person I was before a traumatic 2 years, by not being with my wife. But unfortunately, thats the only conclusion.

So I guess the answer to my question would be to stay in the house until we get a separation agreement filed with the County court. So in otherwords, be prepared to not leave for a week or so after the fallout, or have a mediation server/lawyer in mind to handle the agreement before hand.

Thanks again.

Franklin