What if?

[ICUB4ER]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

My husband told me that he wanted a divorce and was going to keep the kids and the house and that I needed to find somewhere to live. I never saw it coming and I still don't want a divorce. Well, I had talked to a few divorced people and they said that in their case at least, whoever filed first would get to keep the house and kids if they asked for them in the temporary order, at least during the themporary order stage. So, I got scared and filed first and was allowed to stay in the home with my kids and he had to move out within 24 hrs of being served. My questions are.....

1. Since I filed first but still don't want this divorce, what would happen if when we go to court I tell the judge that I don't want it?

2. Since he does want this divorce, can he then take the kids and make me leave the house?

3. Any chance of getting the judge to order marriage counseling before granting this divorce since we never tried it(he refused), we have been married almost 15 years?

4. We have 4 vehicles and the only one that is running is the truck that he took with him that we are still paying for for another 3 years. Any chance that the judge will make him provide me with a running vehicle to transport the kids in?

 

[brisgirl825]

1. Since I filed first but still don't want this divorce, what would happen if when we go to court I tell the judge that I don't want it?

He would still be granted a divorce.

2. Since he does want this divorce, can he then take the kids and make me leave the house?

Not w/o a CO.

3. Any chance of getting the judge to order marriage counseling before granting this divorce since we never tried it(he refused), we have been married almost 15 years?

Not in Ks. You both will be required to go to a Parenting After Divorce class.

4. We have 4 vehicles and the only one that is running is the truck that he took with him that we are still paying for for another 3 years. Any chance that the judge will make him provide me with a running vehicle to transport the kids in?

No way to know, you can certainly ask a judge for that. The fact that he is in arrears, should tell you how well he'd pay for your transportation.

I remember your post in the custody and visitation board and I am not sure why you would want to stay with this guy. I understand that 15 yrs is a long time and I know that I am not in your shoes. However, he has not been helping you with the financial support of the children and is trying to get joint physical, when he is obviously not home to care for them, in order to get out of cs.

Divorce is hard, especially when you have been with a person as long as you have. You want to keep what is familiar out of fear of forever being alone and losing your kids. However, what kind of envirnment will your kids be forced to live in if you guys stay together?

My advice is to keep going and focus on making sure your kids have a good life. Eventually, you will become familiar to this new life and it won't seem as difficult.