What are my opions?

[cyberella]

What are my options?

Hi all,
I got married in Georgia last February. I'm Belgian and had been staying for a couple of months with a friend (whom I met a couple of years ago in Belgium) while looking for postdoc employment in the state. We built up a relationship - which was very difficult on account of him not having a steady job, which depressed him, and a drinking problem (something I only established later on). A circle of abuse developed, wherein he constantly undermined my self-confidence saying the most horrible things; there were displays of violence (although never with physical abuse on my person) and then he "made amends" but the cycle always started over. Amends generally came when one or other bill needed to be paid. Bottom line is that I ended up paying for most of our expenses. I more or less got intimidated (there was a lot of yelling and ranting and intimidating behavior) into marrying him because he "wanted me to stay and loved me". I felt completely out of balance and caved. We also submitted my adjustment of status papers with immigration. Things went from bad to worse and by the end of February I had made up my mind that I didn't want to live that way - love or not, it hurt too much and this man scared me most of all. I booked a hotel room and a consecutive flight while he was sleeping off his beer one day. Now he keeps harping for a money loan to pay his rent (I'm not on the lease papers though) via e-mail. He asks for a divorce every time he gets enraged (and/or drunk), but now that I asked him several times where to send the papers he doesn't respond to that particular question. I'm afraid that he will try to get at my money (of which I don't have much) from afar or block the divorce. Does anyone know if there are other options that will free me from his terror like e.g. annulment or "automatic" divorce as a consequence of separation? Am I accountable for any of his possible debts (past or future), being married to him, under Georgia law? I would like to avoid having to pay huge attorney costs which I can't afford... and having to come to the US again (I'm back in my country to stay). Thanks in advance for any tips!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

You will not be able to get an annulment unless you meet the grounds for annulment in Georgia (Grounds for Annulment - Divorce Lawyer Source). It doesn't sound like you meet those requirements.

You can probably get a divorce in Belgium if you meet the requirements there. The Belgium court will have no jurisdiction over property or child custody of a child in the US, but again, it sounds like that won't be an issue.

It also appears that you can file for divorce in Georgia as long as your husband is still a resident there. However, you will probably need an attorney to handle that for you.

Under Georgia law, you will be partially responsible for any debts he creates while you are married to him (although Georgia courts would not be able to collect if you do not move back to Georgia), but the best thing is to get your divorce finalized as quickly as possible.

 

[LdiJ]

Hi all,
I got married in Georgia last February. I'm Belgian and had been staying for a couple of months with a friend (whom I met a couple of years ago in Belgium) while looking for postdoc employment in the state. We built up a relationship - which was very difficult on account of him not having a steady job, which depressed him, and a drinking problem (something I only established later on). A circle of abuse developed, wherein he constantly undermined my self-confidence saying the most horrible things; there were displays of violence (although never with physical abuse on my person) and then he "made amends" but the cycle always started over. Amends generally came when one or other bill needed to be paid. Bottom line is that I ended up paying for most of our expenses. I more or less got intimidated (there was a lot of yelling and ranting and intimidating behavior) into marrying him because he "wanted me to stay and loved me". I felt completely out of balance and caved. We also submitted my adjustment of status papers with immigration. Things went from bad to worse and by the end of February I had made up my mind that I didn't want to live that way - love or not, it hurt too much and this man scared me most of all. I booked a hotel room and a consecutive flight while he was sleeping off his beer one day. Now he keeps harping for a money loan to pay his rent (I'm not on the lease papers though) via e-mail. He asks for a divorce every time he gets enraged (and/or drunk), but now that I asked him several times where to send the papers he doesn't respond to that particular question. I'm afraid that he will try to get at my money (of which I don't have much) from afar or block the divorce. Does anyone know if there are other options that will free me from his terror like e.g. annulment or "automatic" divorce as a consequence of separation? Am I accountable for any of his possible debts (past or future), being married to him, under Georgia law? I would like to avoid having to pay huge attorney costs which I can't afford... and having to come to the US again (I'm back in my country to stay). Thanks in advance for any tips!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I would divorce him in Belgium if you meet the qualifications to do so. You are not responsible for his debts prior to marriage. As Misto said a court could hold you responsible for 1/2 of debt accumulated during the marriage, but since the US court has no jurisdiction over any assets not located in the US, the court would be in no position to force you to pay them, nor could he get his hands on any money that you might have.

You also might be able to annul the marriage in Belgium if the laws there permit that in your scenario.