what are my rights?

[jesuslilone]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new jersey

After 12 years of marriage I need a divorce. I can no longer live with this behavior, his affair, and need to just end it.

My question is, in the state of New Jersey, when I file for divorce and my husband is served can I ask the court to have him leave the marital home, that is in his name only, within 15 minutes or so that he is served? I will assume all responsibilites for the household until and after the divorce.

Thank you in advance,

Jesuslilone

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new jersey

After 12 years of marriage I need a divorce. I can no longer live with this behavior, his affair, and need to just end it.

My question is, in the state of New Jersey, when I file for divorce and my husband is served can I ask the court to have him leave the marital home, that is in his name only, within 15 minutes or so that he is served? I will assume all responsibilites for the household until and after the divorce.

Thank you in advance,

Jesuslilone

If the house is in his name only, its far more likely that he would be granted the ongoing use of the home than you would. You would be entitled to 1/2 of the equity that accrued during the marriage, but it would be fairly odd for the judge to award you ongoing use of the home.

 

[mistoffolees]

If the house is in his name only, its far more likely that he would be granted the ongoing use of the home than you would. You would be entitled to 1/2 of the equity that accrued during the marriage, but it would be fairly odd for the judge to award you ongoing use of the home.

It would, however, depend on the circumstances.

For example, if they purchased the house while married and both contributed equally to paying for and maintaining the house (or if OP paid MORE), but put the house in his name for some narrow specific reason (such as her facing a lawsuit or whatever), then the court my consider them equal partners in the home and might let her stay. If there are small children and it were clear that she were more likely to have primary physical custody, that could enter into the decision as well.

Without more facts, it's impossible to say if it's LIKELY, but it's certainly not out of the question and needs to be discussed with a local attorney.

 

[jesuslilone]

even if we have 5 children and I am the primary caregiver/housewife?

Thank you again, in advance, for advice.

 

[LdiJ]

even if we have 5 children and I am the primary caregiver/housewife?

Thank you again, in advance, for advice.

Can you qualify to refinance the mortgage to buy him out of the home?...for not just enough to cover the principal balance on the house but for enough to also buy out his share of the equity?

I really feel that you are not thinking things through realistically. You will be entitled to 1/2 of the equity that accrued during the marriage. However, you cannot expect to keep the home unless your husband agrees to a non-traditional property settlement.

 

[golftrub]

even if we have 5 children and I am the primary caregiver/housewife?

Given those facts, more than likely you'll be awarded possession of the house at least until the judge divides the property.

All this business about who is on the title and whether the house is marital property is irrelevant. The house is the marital home, so the judge has the power to award temporary possession of it to whomever, in his judgment, needs it more.

If the house is your husband's separate property, then you'll have to move out when the divorce is finalized.

 

[mistoffolees]

even if we have 5 children and I am the primary caregiver/housewife?

That MIGHT cause a judge to order that you get possession of the home on a temporary basis, but only if you can pay for it. How are you going to pay for the mortgage and expenses on a home with no job?

You will not be awarded the house on a permanent basis - even if you can find a way to pay for it.

So you're going to need to find somewhere to live and some way to support yourself. That is probably a better way to spend your energy than worrying about who's going to keep the house on a temporary basis.

 

[CameronNewport]

That MIGHT cause a judge to order that you get possession of the home on a temporary basis, but only if you can pay for it. How are you going to pay for the mortgage and expenses on a home with no job?

Not even close. The judge can order that the husband pay the mortgage and the wife gets possession. Totally within the judge's discretion and happens all the time when a wife is a stay at home mom.

 

[Bali Hai]

Not even close. The judge can order that the husband pay the mortgage and the wife gets possession. Totally within the judge's discretion and happens all the time when a wife is a stay at home mom.

Yes, and never happens when a husband is a stay at home dad.

 

[CameronNewport]

Yes, and never happens when a husband is a stay at home dad.

Of course not. If a husband stays at home, he's a lazy, sloppy, deadbeat. If a wife stays at home, she's a victim of oppression and should be commended for throwing her dreams aside for the good of the family.

 

[Bali Hai]

Of course not. If a husband stays at home, he's a lazy, sloppy, deadbeat. If a wife stays at home, she's a victim of oppression and should be commended for throwing her dreams aside for the good of the family.

You're right of course.

 

[mistoffolees]

Not even close. The judge can order that the husband pay the mortgage and the wife gets possession. Totally within the judge's discretion and happens all the time when a wife is a stay at home mom.

"all the time"? Not even close. It certainly wasn't ordered in my case - even though my ex asked for it and I had a very good income at the time while she wasn't working.

The judge can order temporary support. But it is rarely enough to allow the stbx to continue to live with no lifestyle changes as if nothing had happened.

 

[mistoffolees]

Of course not. If a husband stays at home, he's a lazy, sloppy, deadbeat. If a wife stays at home, she's a victim of oppression and should be commended for throwing her dreams aside for the good of the family.

What do you know, Bali found another close-minded bigot who would rather spout nonsense than pay attention to the facts.

The attitude you're whining about may still exist in a very few places, but it has not been the judicial standard for many, many years. The law doesn't care what your gender is.

 

[kimberlywrites]

What do you know, Bali found another close-minded bigot who would rather spout nonsense than pay attention to the facts.

The attitude you're whining about may still exist in a very few places, but it has not been the judicial standard for many, many years. The law doesn't care what your gender is.

And together, they rode off happily into the sunset.
Bali, you have to admit that when women come on here saying they were forced to stay home, even the women who respond say that's a bunch of crap.

 

[CameronNewport]

"all the time"? Not even close. It certainly wasn't ordered in my case

It wasn't ordered in your case. So that means it's uncommon? Your ONE case.

And I suppose that implies that you have no experience outside of your ONE case. Is that right? You haven't actually litigated divorces outside of your ONE case, right?

Got it.