what is the next step. oif vet home from war. wife wants divorce

[txsoldiermom]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? TEXAS
my son returned from Iraq in March 05. He has been honorably discharged from the Army after 8 yrs of service. he is also in the army reserves. his wife of 2 years decided on july 4th weekend to call the police on him while he was cooking dinner to start what we now know as documentation to get a restraining order to keep him away from their 1 yr old son. she resents him coming home alive because while he was gone for 13 months she didn't share the child with anyone. she is also pregnant but its questionable if its my sons child. he left the home that day before the police arrived even though he did nothing wrong because in this county someone goes to jail when a spouse calls claiming being afraid of her husband because he is just home from the war. he took a witness when he returned to pick up this belongings and has moved in with friends. she then several weeks later asked him to move back because she had complications with her preg but he refused because of the threat of the police hanging over his head. he said that he would take his little boy until she got better but she refused. can my son file for divorce even though she is pregnant, can he request dna of the second child and in texas can my son ask for 50-50 custody so that his child lives with him 50% of the time and 50% with the mother? she refuses any and all contact between my son and their child. today was his birthday and she would not let him see or have him for the day. can my son just go pick him up from day care because they are still married? we have been told alot and i thought i would pose these questions? thank you in advance.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by txsoldiermom

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? TEXAS
my son returned from Iraq in March 05. He has been honorably discharged from the Army after 8 yrs of service. he is also in the army reserves. his wife of 2 years decided on july 4th weekend to call the police on him while he was cooking dinner to start what we now know as documentation to get a restraining order to keep him away from their 1 yr old son. she resents him coming home alive because while he was gone for 13 months she didn't share the child with anyone. she is also pregnant but its questionable if its my sons child. he left the home that day before the police arrived even though he did nothing wrong because in this county someone goes to jail when a spouse calls claiming being afraid of her husband because he is just home from the war. he took a witness when he returned to pick up this belongings and has moved in with friends. she then several weeks later asked him to move back because she had complications with her preg but he refused because of the threat of the police hanging over his head. he said that he would take his little boy until she got better but she refused. can my son file for divorce even though she is pregnant, can he request dna of the second child and in texas can my son ask for 50-50 custody so that his child lives with him 50% of the time and 50% with the mother? she refuses any and all contact between my son and their child. today was his birthday and she would not let him see or have him for the day. can my son just go pick him up from day care because they are still married? we have been told alot and i thought i would pose these questions? thank you in advance.

He can certainly file for divorce, but it may not be possible to finalize the divorce until after the second child is born and paternity is determined.

50/50 custody is possible, but not very likely in your son's case. Its not good for children who are too little to understand what it going on.....and due to the circumstances of your son's case its obvious that the child's primary bond is with his mother.

I think it would be a VERY bad idea to just go pick up the child from day care....particularly if he wants to keep the police out of his life.

What your son needs to do is get an attorney, file for divorce, and get custody/visitation established.

[txsoldiermom]

thank you for your response. i will forward your info onto my son. although his being away at war serving in her place she is using this against my son as to why he doesn't have a bond with his child. he will not alwys be a baby and will need his father in his life. being reduced to 4 days a month is no way to raise a child esp when the mother duped you in the first place. i will help him get the 50/50 arrangement and until the next child is 1 will help him again get the next child 50/50 if proven to be his. she has now changed day care since the center told her that they could not stop my son from picking up the child since there is no court order. so now she has hidden the son from his father. this will lead to parental alienation. and the child into a delinquent.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by txsoldiermom

thank you for your response. i will forward your info onto my son. although his being away at war serving in her place she is using this against my son as to why he doesn't have a bond with his child. he will not alwys be a baby and will need his father in his life. being reduced to 4 days a month is no way to raise a child esp when the mother duped you in the first place. i will help him get the 50/50 arrangement and until the next child is 1 will help him again get the next child 50/50 if proven to be his. she has now changed day care since the center told her that they could not stop my son from picking up the child since there is no court order. so now she has hidden the son from his father. this will lead to parental alienation. and the child into a delinquent.

Whoa grandma....you are WAY over-reacting here...and you are not thinking about your grandchild at all. There is a world of different options between 50/50 and 4 days a month. No one was suggesting that your son only get 4 days a month with his child. However, 50/50 is equally unreasonable in this case....because the child is too young to understand, but old enough to realize that mommy is gone. 50/50 is something that may end up being appropriate in another couple of years...but is NOT appropriate now.

Look....here is a link to the guidelines for my state....just to give you an example of what might be an appropriate schedule for the child's age.

[url]http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/#index[/url]

Look at the section on infants and toddlers.

Of course she has moved the child to another daycare...she obviously was aware of your son's idea to "snatch"....and that is the normal reaction to that.

[txsoldiermom]

how about realizing that dad is gone. why is the mother always the right one. she is way wrong here. she cares so much about this kid that she dumps him in day care 16 hrs a day. he thinks his aunt is his mom. he has never called his mother momma. you can't snatch what is yours legally. my son is still this childs father and is being denied the right to be a parent. i looked at your indiana guidelines and that is just what they are. and i think i think way more of my grandchild than even his mother and her parents do. she drinks and they travel. this baby was hospitalized when he was just 3 months old because his mother was starving him only breastfeeding him 10 minutes every two hours because she listened to her dad. she was at risk for losing this kid to foster care when we stepped in. with 50/50 custody arrangement the child will have at least 50% chance of succeeding versus the 90% chance he has of falling into the foster care system. hopefully the texas family court will see that this baby needs both parents. equally. we give this toddler a lot of credit. he doesn't miss his mother the 16 hrs he is in day care. the times we have gotten him he doesn't even smile when she comes in the room.
every other weekend is 4 days a month. my nephew recd his 2 yr and 4 year old 16 days a month and their mother gets them 14 days month. in texas.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by txsoldiermom

how about realizing that dad is gone. why is the mother always the right one. she is way wrong here. she cares so much about this kid that she dumps him in day care 16 hrs a day. he thinks his aunt is his mom. he has never called his mother momma. you can't snatch what is yours legally. my son is still this childs father and is being denied the right to be a parent. i looked at your indiana guidelines and that is just what they are. and i think i think way more of my grandchild than even his mother and her parents do. she drinks and they travel. this baby was hospitalized when he was just 3 months old because his mother was starving him only breastfeeding him 10 minutes every two hours because she listened to her dad. she was at risk for losing this kid to foster care when we stepped in. with 50/50 custody arrangement the child will have at least 50% chance of succeeding versus the 90% chance he has of falling into the foster care system. hopefully the texas family court will see that this baby needs both parents. equally. we give this toddler a lot of credit. he doesn't miss his mother the 16 hrs he is in day care. the times we have gotten him he doesn't even smile when she comes in the room.
every other weekend is 4 days a month. my nephew recd his 2 yr and 4 year old 16 days a month and their mother gets them 14 days month. in texas.

I recommend that you get your son a good attorney...and let him handle things with his attorney. You are too involved here...and its going to hurt your son rather than help him.