What should my first step be?

[pat80flh]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I need to disolve this marriage of sixteen years. Should I secure my own residence first,then start seperation process? Or should the seperation papers come first. I am looking at some cheap houses,she will keep the current house,it is almost paid for and she owned it before we were married.

 

[Farfalla]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I need to disolve this marriage of sixteen years. Should I secure my own residence first,then start seperation process? Or should the seperation papers come first. I am looking at some cheap houses,she will keep the current house,it is almost paid for and she owned it before we were married.

You are probably entitled to 50% of the equity the home has gained since you married. This could help you fine a better place to live.

Can we assume that you have no children from this marriage?

Why separation papers? Don't you mean divorce papers?

Legally you are entitled to live in the marital home until the divorce is final. This might be the best idea for right now until property settlement. Though I'm sure it can be awkard.

 

[LdiJ]

You are probably entitled to 50% of the equity the home has gained since you married. This could help you fine a better place to live.

Can we assume that you have no children from this marriage?

Why separation papers? Don't you mean divorce papers?

Legally you are entitled to live in the marital home until the divorce is final. This might be the best idea for right now until property settlement. Though I'm sure it can be awkard.

He is in NY, in NY you have to be legally separated (and living apart) for a minimum of one year before you can get a no fault divorce.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

I need to disolve this marriage of sixteen years. Should I secure my own residence first,then start seperation process? Or should the seperation papers come first. I am looking at some cheap houses,she will keep the current house,it is almost paid for and she owned it before we were married.

Are there kids involved?

 

[pat80flh]

The children (hers) are thankfully grown and gone. I am hoping to walk away clean,no alimony,and would gladly give up the equity in the house. She has no money of her own,and is something of a pyscho alcoholic. So would it be safe to roll into the driveway someday with a moving truck,load up my possesions and leave?

 

[Farfalla]

He is in NY, in NY you have to be legally separated (and living apart) for a minimum of one year before you can get a no fault divorce.

You're right. I stand corrected.

 

[Farfalla]

The children (hers) are thankfully grown and gone. I am hoping to walk away clean,no alimony,and would gladly give up the equity in the house. She has no money of her own,and is something of a pyscho alcoholic. So would it be safe to roll into the driveway someday with a moving truck,load up my possesions and leave?

You might want to see an attorney before you do that just to find out what you can and cannot do in this case.

As for you interest in the home and giving it up... you might not be required to pay any alimony or support. And if she is entitled to support... you might need to pay it whether or not you sign your interest in the home over to her or not. Talk to an attorney about that too.

 

[kimberlywrites]

The children (hers) are thankfully grown and gone. I am hoping to walk away clean,no alimony,and would gladly give up the equity in the house. She has no money of her own,and is something of a pyscho alcoholic. So would it be safe to roll into the driveway someday with a moving truck,load up my possesions and leave?

Safe? Based on this statement, I would say no!

 

[Farfalla]

The children (hers) are thankfully grown and gone. I am hoping to walk away clean,no alimony,and would gladly give up the equity in the house. She has no money of her own,and is something of a pyscho alcoholic. So would it be safe to roll into the driveway someday with a moving truck,load up my possesions and leave?

Why not see an attorney to get the paper work started.

Tell her so there are no surprises.

Than if you feel there could be trouble, ask for the police to be there while you remove your things... or at least ask that she vacate the house for some number of hours while you move your things?

 

[Zigner]

Why would you think you can just start taking "stuff" from the marital home?

 

[pat80flh]

Why would you think you can just start taking "stuff" from the marital home?

Because I am not sure of the seperation process,which is why ia m here askiing questons. I was hoping to get out of this painlessly and cheaply,with a do it yourself divorce kit,but I am beginning to realize that that will not happen. Time to shell out for a lawyer I guess.

 

[LdiJ]

Because I am not sure of the seperation process,which is why ia m here askiing questons. I was hoping to get out of this painlessly and cheaply,with a do it yourself divorce kit,but I am beginning to realize that that will not happen. Time to shell out for a lawyer I guess.

You can move out anything that is clearly your personal property, but when it comes to any of the household furnishings etc you and your wife would have to agree on what you would be taking, and would preferibly need to have that agreement in writing.