Whats my next move in Alabama

[DebbieLynn]

What is the name of your state? Alabama
My husband of 17 years came home and said he was leaving. He left, however at the time I didn't know another woman was involved. Under no stress and with smiles he signed quit claim deeds to our properties in front of a bank notary and has told everyone including myself he wasn't taking anything except the clothes on his back, his pd for truck, coin collection, and wanted the motorcycle. That was all he wanted. Please advice me on what grounds for divorce I need to file. He moved in with this woman the day he left me. Shes a gold digger and is proably advising him. Please help me figure out what to do next. I'm not dumb, just don't know what my next move is.
Thanks,

 

[BethM]

Do you have an attorney yet? Alabama is a no fault state but the courts will take into account his adultry. His actions now, whether he withholds money, causes undo stress or hardship on you due to his adultry are all things a judge will take into consideration.

You need an attorney, you need a court date and you need to get all his promises on a court order that has been signed by a judge. Things work very slowly in Alabama too so you need to get started.

Is he leaving the divorce up to you? Is he going to be paying all fees related to the divorce? Are there any children still at home, if so, what about child support? Do you work outside the home and if not, what about spousal support? Lots of things to consider and only an attorney can know exactly what is involved. Good luck!!

 

[Michigan Lady]

Helllloooooooo!!

Is there a mortgage and whose names appear on it?. Now think about it, he quit claimed you his interest in the house, have you filed them yet at the county clerks office, if not, I WOULD RUN NOT WALK!!! Just because he has signed over all interest to you, if his name is jointly held on the mortgage, he signed away his rights, BUT, is still liable for the payments. If you think his girlfriend is a golddigger, "GET A TICKET ON THE CLUE BUS!!!!!" , she must be as dumb as a wall to have told him to do this. I only WISH my soon to be ex-husband would do that, I'd even pay the mortgage on time (which I already do) to protect his already ruined credit.......FILE THE PAPERS IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY, get a divorce lawyer, find out all you can, adultry, etc., and see if he'll give you all the rest of his assests too!. Lady, you have it made!!!!!!

 

[BethM]

and see if he'll give you all the rest of his assests too!. Lady, you have it made!!!!!


Doesn't she though!! I looked at her post and thought..."man, what I wouldn't give for that situation."

Your husband is dealing with some heavy duty GUILT. Get him to sign anyting, get your hands on everything that you can. When the fool wakes up and wants to come home it will at least be waiting for him to come home to.

First thing Monday morning find an attorney. When his guilt goes away and he gets to that angry stage of mid life crisis he will be out to destroy you. Your goal right now should be to get control of as much as you can before he get to the angry stage. You can bet he will get there too. When my ex left after 17 years he was going to provide a home, nothing would have to change...yadda, yadda, yadda. That attitude comes to an end! Be prepared for it when it does.

 

[DebbieLynn]

I have contacted an attorney, however she won't be available until the end of next week.
My husband left on Sept.23rd and he met me at the bank on Sept.29th thats when he signed the quit claim deeds, I however was hoping for a reconcillation which of course wasn't going to happen after I had found out that he was living with his girlfriend and that he had been there since the day he left, but yes I did go quickly after I found out and filed them in the courthouse.
So, I shouldn't have any problems with this matter any longer. Should I?
I know I was told he would have to prove he signed under duress or was mentally unstable at the time he did.

 

[Michigan Lady]

To the Luckiest Lady I Know!!!

. I totally agree with BethM, he's feeling remorseful, take advantage of it!!!! Get what you can get now, health insurance, pension, 401k, alimony, child support, if you have a joint checking or savings, CLOSE IT DOWN AND TAKE THE MONEY!!! Put a bank account in your own name only, and NEVER tell him.
If you happen to take the louse back, ALWAYS have your own checking, (he does not need to ever know, get a P.O. Box if necessary), but NEVER EVER quit claim that property back to him. If he gets ticked off because you won't, you'll see how far love goes. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater!. Once he's done this, no Dr. Phil in the world, is gonna make you trust him again, I know, I've tried. If that lawyer cannot see you till next Friday, find another, look in Yellow Pages, for lawyers offering a "free consultation", they're out there. You should be able to see someone before next Friday. Be ready, write down your questions, and fire them off because free consultations don't long. Remember you are interviewing them, they will work for your best interests, and you're gonna pay for it eventually, so interview as many as possible and make your decision from there. With the way your luck is running, you might be able to mediate the whole thing with your "husband" and an attorney and really hit the jackpot, he may give you anything you ask at this point. TAKE IT!!!!

 

[BethM]

Another thing DO NOT tell him you are seeing an attorney. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give away the game plan. If you tell him you are getting an attorney, if you begin to act in a threatening manner toward him then he will soon have one of his own. It's all down hill from there because any attorney he gets will help him wipe you out. You do the wiping and then tell him you are getting an attorney.

So far you have been smart. Another thing to think about is this...if you guys have any credit cards that are in both your names, get your name off of it. If he is crazy in love with this woman he will be spending money and you may not know for months just how much money. Be sure your name is nowhere near anything he is spending since he left home.

I read a book recently that cracked me up. It's called Southern Friend Divorce and it's by this lady who went through divorce and came away with EVERYTHING. She remained 'friends' with her husband throughout the process and all the time was cleaning his clock. So, here is a word of advice. No matter how mad or hurt you are, every time you see this fool you stroke his ego. You be the most understanding soon to be ex wife you can be. When it's all said and done you can feed him a face full of butt and leave him with nothing but the white trash he is shacked up with. Hopefully she likes poor me!!

 

[howamidoing]

What is the name of your state? Alabama
My husband of 17 years came home and said he was leaving. He left, however at the time I didn't know another woman was involved. Under no stress and with smiles he signed quit claim deeds to our properties in front of a bank notary and has told everyone including myself he wasn't taking anything except the clothes on his back, his pd for truck, coin collection, and wanted the motorcycle. That was all he wanted. Please advice me on what grounds for divorce I need to file. He moved in with this woman the day he left me. Shes a gold digger and is proably advising him. Please help me figure out what to do next. I'm not dumb, just don't know what my next move is.
Thanks,

When a husband comes home after 17 years and says he is leaving, how can you not know it's another woman?

 

[BethM]

When a husband comes home after 17 years and says he is leaving, how can you not know it's another woman?

It's not always another woman. My ex left...told me something in his head went "click" and that he needed a knew life. I started looking for the woman who had caused that click. There wasn't one!! The man just went wiggy, deep clinical depression and it was 3 years after he left that he had his first date. By the time he came out of his destructive depression too much damage had been done and it was too late to come home. It isn't always about another woman.

 

[DebbieLynn]

When a husband comes home after 17 years and says he is leaving, how can you not know

My husband knew how to play me, he knew what to say and how to say it.
He knew I didn't trust for years, I was coming out of an 11 year marriage when I met him. He built up my trust and I believed what he told me. Stupid to let my guard down, however, I was happy believing he was in love with and I finally had someone I could trust. The day he left me will be forever imbedded in my memory.
He called me at five o'clock and ask if i had went to get the shots in my bad knees, I said yes, he ask if anyone went with me, I told him I awoke to late for my friend to go with me and he said well baby, why didn't you come get me I would have went with you. I said, sweetheart if I had known you wanted to go with me I would have. He said well next time let me know ok. And I said ok, He told me he loved me at that point. But all the while he was planning to go see this trailer park trash whore. He said a friend of his from work wanted to go to the dog track so I said if you go please call me before you go so I will know not to worry. He called just before seven o'clock and said Oh, I almost forgot to call my baby before I left, just wanted you to not worry. I said I love you becareful call me if you need me, you know how I worry, He said, yes sweetheart I know, I ask what time he would be home and he said eleven thirty, he I love you I will see then. I said I love you becareful. When he came home he dropped the bomb shell. With all this love he was spreading my way and the trust he had built up, he knew he had me where he wanted me. If you could have caught onto the game he played with me then your preception would have been better than mine. Hope this lets you know how I could have easily not known. He was spreading BS the whole time instead of Love as I thought.

 

[howamidoing]

My husband knew how to play me, he knew what to say and how to say it.
He knew I didn't trust for years, I was coming out of an 11 year marriage when I met him. He built up my trust and I believed what he told me. Stupid to let my guard down, however, I was happy believing he was in love with and I finally had someone I could trust. The day he left me will be forever imbedded in my memory.
He called me at five o'clock and ask if i had went to get the shots in my bad knees, I said yes, he ask if anyone went with me, I told him I awoke to late for my friend to go with me and he said well baby, why didn't you come get me I would have went with you. I said, sweetheart if I had known you wanted to go with me I would have. He said well next time let me know ok. And I said ok, He told me he loved me at that point. But all the while he was planning to go see this trailer park trash whore. He said a friend of his from work wanted to go to the dog track so I said if you go please call me before you go so I will know not to worry. He called just before seven o'clock and said Oh, I almost forgot to call my baby before I left, just wanted you to not worry. I said I love you becareful call me if you need me, you know how I worry, He said, yes sweetheart I know, I ask what time he would be home and he said eleven thirty, he I love you I will see then. I said I love you becareful. When he came home he dropped the bomb shell. With all this love he was spreading my way and the trust he had built up, he knew he had me where he wanted me. If you could have caught onto the game he played with me then your preception would have been better than mine. Hope this lets you know how I could have easily not known. He was spreading BS the whole time instead of Love as I thought.

I'm sorry I was simply making an observation. If it were me the first thing I would think of was another woman. That was just my observation.