When kids are involved...

[lostinvegas]

What is the name of your state? Nevada

I have been separated for about 3 years now, but not
"legally", as in the signing of documents and such, but have lived separately from my spouse for this length of time. I live in Nevada, he still lives in Michigan, as far as I know. I haven't spoken to him in at least 2 years now, he has had no contact with me or the children, and I want to find out, if infact I do find him, what are my options? He has obviously willingly abondoned the kids, and I wouldn't mind seeing him give up his paternal rights for good, but what can I do about collecting past due child support/insurance/outstanding debts etc.. ?
Also, if I cannot find him, how do I file? I already fired a lawyer for incompetence and dont wish to lose anymore money in such a way. Please help? Thanks.

 

[hexeliebe]

He has obviously willingly abondoned the kids,

Oh really? And how do you figure that since, as you say, 'he still lives in Michigan' where I assume you moved to Nevada from?

and I wouldn't mind seeing him give up his paternal rights for good, but what can I do about collecting past due child support/insurance/outstanding debts etc.. ?

You are still married, so how in the hell do you figure to collect 'past due child support'???

Get with the program lady. You don't get child support until you go to court, get a divorce, file for custody THEN support and visitation.

Once you do that then the clock starts running on support obligations, visitation, contact/abandonment and all the other CRAP-O-La you just spewed forth.

Also, if I cannot find him, how do I file?

D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!

I already fired a lawyer for incompetence and dont wish to lose anymore money in such a way.

His or yours?

 

[lostinvegas]

thanks for your reply..but it didn't really help.
I've been trying to file for divorce, but as far as I have been told, by the lawyer which I fired, because there are children involved, he HAS to be served the papers, which can't be done due to the fact that he is MIA. I have been looking for him, I even have a friend of mine back in Michigan helping me to track him down. How do I file, with request of child support, when he cannot be found? I was told by some friends and family that I could file under abandonment, now that so much time has passed, but if I do so, what happens then? And after it is filed, however it needs to be done, how am I to go about collecting , if at all possible, child support dating back from the beginning of the separation?

As for me living in Nevada, and him in Michigan, yes, I left him, but made sure to have him sign a paper stating that he agreed to having me take the children to live out of state. I'm not sure if this has any relevance, but I was trying to cover at least a few bases. It was necessary to get out as quick and painless as possible. As for me stating he has been neglectful towards the kids, I am referring to the fact that he hasn't even tried to call the kids, or offer any type of support to or for them for over 2 years. Last I heard from him, is when my oldest child requested to speak with him. He then informed me, he had a 3rd child with his girlfriend. That is the last time I was in contact with him. I tried several times to call him, when I was then informed by his family that he had moved and they would "Give him a message" which I seriously doubt they ever did. He had been given, by me, my cellphone number to use to call the kids, which has not changed in over 3 years. He never called. I consider that to be willingly neglectful.

 

[hexeliebe]

O.K. first of all, Nevada Revised Statutes only speak of debts and bills of the abandoned party (in this case your hubby believe it or not) in the following:

NRS 123.100 Abandoned spouse not liable for support of abandoning spouse. A husband or wife abandoned by his spouse is not liable for the support of the abandoning spouse until such spouse offers to return unless the misconduct of the husband or wife justified the abandonment.

[23:119:1873; B § 173; BH § 521; C § 532; RL § 2177; NCL § 3377]—(NRS A 1975, 558)

So the first thing you'd have to do to have him legally responsible for the debt, is to convince a judge in Nevada that you had good cause to abandon him.

Now, on to the divorce.

Yes, Nevada has a no-fault provision for divorce. Since you have been there more than one year, you can file under those grounds. As your attorney said, without finding the ex to serve him, it will be difficult, however, abandonment is also an option.

You need to contact another attorney and specifically ask what their experience is handling abandonment divorce.

 

[lostinvegas]

ok, well that shed a little light on the subject, and as for the debts I knew it would be a long shot, but no harm in trying.

Oh what a valuable lesson I learned about marrying a young, naive, pretty boy. Hormones and braincells do NOT work in sync.

 

[hexeliebe]

Is that why I see so many old farts like me with pretty young things?

Naaaaa....must be the money or something else

I tried looking up the statutes that would apply to the procedure for abandonment divorce but couldn't find them. Maybe someone more familiar with Nevada law will be able to help you.

Hey, also, if you're a redhead I know an attorney here on the forum who would turn cartwheels

 

[lostinvegas]

ah well, no, not a red head, although I can be. I have before, it's just a matter of which # clairol to use.

 

[lostinvegas]

Got another question..

Now since I havent spoken to him in over 2 years, and I'm not really sure how petty he is going to be about this, should I file , if it cant be under abondonment, contested or uncontested? He stopped screwing me the fun way a long time ago, I don't need anymore of his childish games. Plus, I have way too many bruises from kicking myself.

 

[hexeliebe]

FILE ALREADY!!!

The longer you wait the less the clock ticks. At least if you file you start the abandonment clock ticking.

Besides, I'm sure there are other 'men' out there who would keep you company until you get this done

 

[lostinvegas]

yeah well, I'm still researching the abondonment issue. I don't want to file something that isn't suited for my particular needs..so someone needs to pause the clock for me, restart it or something. Jinkies, give a girl a break!

As for the "company" thing, well, I got that base more than covered. After all, you don't think I've been letting myself be lonely for over 3 years now do you?!