When is it a legal separation and more...Please help.

[manuel340]

What is the name of your state?Virginia

My wife and I typed up out own separation agreement, signed it and had it notarized but never filed it or took it to a lawyer. Are we legally separated or is the document even valid?

In Virginia is it considered adultery if one party has been sexually active with someone else even though you have agreed to separate but are not yet divorced and still maintain a sexual relationship with your spouse? I recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful. By maintaining a sexual relationship is separation compromised?

If my wife refuses to comply with her part of the agreement is still a valid document? If the answer to number one is no then the rest is irrelavent. Thanks.

[tigger22472]

WHAT IS A LEGAL SEPARATION?

There is a lot of confusion about the term "legal separation." Many people think that you must go through some process to get a legal separation before you can get a divorce. This is not true. In Virginia, to be considered "separated" for purposes of obtaining a divorce, the parties simply must not be living together as husband and wife.

There is a qualified divorce called Divorce from Bed and Board ("Divorce a Mensa et Thoro") that is rarely used. A Bed and Board Divorce means that the husband and wife are officially separated and neither can marry another person.

It also means that if either spouse cohabits with another person, during the period of separation, he/she can be charged with adultery.

There are two grounds for a Bed and Board Divorce Decree:

a) Desertion or abandonment; or

b) Cruelty and reasonable expectation of bodily harm.

You do not need a Bed and Board Divorce to get a final or absolute divorce, but if there is a Bed and Board Decree, either party may ask the Court to have that decree changed into an absolute divorce one year after the separation occurred. Even if your spouse deserts you, you still have to wait a year before the Court can grant you a final divorce.

[url]http://www.lawhelp.org/documents/81281divorce.htm#2[/url]

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by manuel340

What is the name of your state?Virginia

My wife and I typed up out own separation agreement, signed it and had it notarized but never filed it or took it to a lawyer. Are we legally separated or is the document even valid?

In Virginia is it considered adultery if one party has been sexually active with someone else even though you have agreed to separate but are not yet divorced and still maintain a sexual relationship with your spouse? I recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful. By maintaining a sexual relationship is separation compromised?

If my wife refuses to comply with her part of the agreement is still a valid document? If the answer to number one is no then the rest is irrelavent. Thanks.

From what Tigger described it appears that the only "legal" separation available would be the divorce from bed and board. Obviously your notarized agreement doesn't accomplish that.

Whether or not its enforceable, as a contract, depends a great deal on the overall circumstances, the content and reasonableness of the agreement, whether or not the specific terms are legally enforceable...and the judge. Basically a judge would have to agree to enforce it.

Certainly, maintaining a sexual relationship compromises a separation. Certainly if you are still legally married a sexual relationship with someone else is technically adultery.

While reading through information on divorce in VA however, I can't see any real advantage to you in proving adultery. Read through the info in this link. I think it will answer some of your questions.

[url]http://www.vsb.org/publications/brochure/divorce.html[/url]