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  1. #1
    pastpatient is offline Junior Member
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    While legally separated what is my financial responsiblity?

    What is the name of your state: Georgia

    I have an odd situation. I'm a woman who works full-time and my husband was the one to stay at home, however he never completely fulfilled that traditional role.

    I filed for divorce almost a year ago, but two weeks later one of our children was diagnosed with leukemia. We never had a chance to go to court and everything was put on hold. We still lived together (separate beds) during this time, I worked as much as I could and he continued in his role, although his responsibilities went way down because half the time two people were never in the house as they usually were. He had a lot of free time as a result, but never looked for a job.

    Once our son was out of the hospital from early October - mid January he never looked for a job, even a temporary one. We started divorce talks up again, but they weren't going well, so we were set for mediation in mid-January. Unfortunately, my son's leukemia has returned once again putting this whole divorce on hold.

    So, based on my situation, my question is this: What responsibility do I have toward him financially? Since we are legally separated, am I obligated to continue to provide for him? We're still in the same house and will be until our son gets out of the hospital (two+ months).

    Thank you in advance.
  2. #2
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by pastpatient View Post
    What is the name of your state: Georgia

    I have an odd situation. I'm a woman who works full-time and my husband was the one to stay at home, however he never completely fulfilled that traditional role.

    I filed for divorce almost a year ago, but two weeks later one of our children was diagnosed with leukemia. We never had a chance to go to court and everything was put on hold. We still lived together (separate beds) during this time, I worked as much as I could and he continued in his role, although his responsibilities went way down because half the time two people were never in the house as they usually were. He had a lot of free time as a result, but never looked for a job.

    Once our son was out of the hospital from early October - mid January he never looked for a job, even a temporary one. We started divorce talks up again, but they weren't going well, so we were set for mediation in mid-January. Unfortunately, my son's leukemia has returned once again putting this whole divorce on hold.

    So, based on my situation, my question is this: What responsibility do I have toward him financially? Since we are legally separated, am I obligated to continue to provide for him? We're still in the same house and will be until our son gets out of the hospital (two+ months).

    Thank you in advance.
    If you are truly legally separated, then you are obligated only to the extent that the legal separation agreement/orders state that you are obligated.

    I do think however that you have an obligation for the basic needs of food and shelter, as long as you are sharing a household.
  3. #3
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    If you are truly legally separated, then you are obligated only to the extent that the legal separation agreement/orders state that you are obligated.

    I do think however that you have an obligation for the basic needs of food and shelter, as long as you are sharing a household.
    You're contradicting yourself.

    Legally, OP is obligated to do only what the legal separation agreement says. Period.

    Now, if you want to argue that OP is MORALLY obligated to do something more, that's a different matter, but not really relevant to this board.
  4. #4
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    You're contradicting yourself.

    Legally, OP is obligated to do only what the legal separation agreement says. Period.

    Now, if you want to argue that OP is MORALLY obligated to do something more, that's a different matter, but not really relevant to this board.
    Forgetting family law for a moment and just focusing on law in general. If someone is a member of your household, and you let them starve, there can be reprecussions. That is what I meant. There could also be some moral obligation as well, but I wasn't addressing that.
  5. #5
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Not to be dense, but your son's luekemia does not preclude getting divorced.

    You NEVER had an obligation to support your spouse financially and provide money because he did not work outside the home.

    Him staying at home was an arrangement you all chose. He does not owe you, even if he was a lousy mister mom.

    Your husbands job hunt is his own issue.

    I am also confused by what do you mean "legally seperated" - that is in context of your statement of y'all did not go to court.
    Last edited by xylene; 02-23-2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason: clairifying in response to a legitmate critique
  6. #6
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by xylene View Post
    Not to be dense, but your son's luekemia does not preclude getting divorced.

    You NEVER had an obligation to support your spouse.

    Him staying at home was an arrangement you all chose. He does not owe you, even if he was a lousy mister mom.

    Your husbands job hunt is his own issue.

    I am also confused by what do you mean "legally seperated" - that is in context of your statement of y'all did not go to court.
    Actually the bolded is NOT correct. When married both spouses have a responsibility and obligation to support the other spouse LEGALLY. That doesn't necessarily mean FINANCIAL support but they do have legal obligations.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  7. #7
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Actually the bolded is NOT correct. When married both spouses have a responsibility and obligation to support the other spouse LEGALLY. That doesn't necessarily mean FINANCIAL support but they do have legal obligations.
    The clear context of the posters question is concerning financial remittance to a spouse. I regret not stating that plainly and will edit accourdingly.

    No court orders have been established as part of separation or divorce proceedings. She does not need to engage in any sort of "pre-alimony" in anticipation of a dubious spousal support claim or in a faulty effort to avoid such payments.

    I don't see where my answer was incorrect and there is no bar to her discontinuing financial payments to her spouse, nor was one ever created because he was mr mom.
  8. #8
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by xylene View Post
    The clear context of the posters question is concerning financial remittance to a spouse. I regret not stating that plainly and will edit accourdingly.

    No court orders have been established as part of separation or divorce proceedings. She does not need to engage in any sort of "pre-alimony" in anticipation of a dubious spousal support claim or in a faulty effort to avoid such payments.

    I don't see where my answer was incorrect and there is no bar to her discontinuing financial payments to her spouse, nor was one ever created because he was mr mom.
    I can agree with what you say here. There is no bar to her discontinuing "alimony" type payments.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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