Who gets the ring?

[jaaronboag]

new york state. after a year of marriage my wife told me that she no longer loves me, and is not sure she ever did. she has told me that she was trying to be a different and better person after she met me, and has confessed to me that she was a different person when she married me. we have decided that divorce is the best and healthiest option, eventhough i truly wish we could try to work things out regardless of how long it takes, and the only remaining thing to do is divide everything up. she was told by a non-legal person that the ring was legally hers. i want her to give it back, and i believe by law any gift we have recieved is half hers and half mine. is there any legal means i can get this considerable investment back without her consent?

thank you very much,
jaaronboag

 

[Kelly143]

The wedding ring and engagement ring are hers to keep. Your wedding ring is yours to keep. If you hadn't gotten married, you would have a chance at getting the engagement ring back. However, since you did get married, it is hers. It isn't half yours because you gave it to her. You didn't just give her half the ring, did you? Sorry about your marriage. It must be difficult, especially when you should still be in the "honeymoon" phase.

 

[jaaronboag]

a law

kelly 143 just so you know once you're married everything you receive in the form of a gift is half your spouse's, and that includes gifts you give to each other. The ring is indeed half mine at least according to NY and Florida state laws. Thanks for the reply, though.

 

[Kelly143]

So, you're saying that if my mom gave me a birthday present, it would be half my husbands???

 

[jaaronboag]

Sadly, yes. I think that's why divorce can be so awful even without children. All property, all finances, everything has to be decided on if it was aquired after the marriage, and everything is 50/50 (go to www.floridadivorce.com or www.nysba.org, that's the NY Bar Assc., if you want to see for yourself). I'm sure there are loop holes, and I trust things will remain civil in my case, but I married someone I thought I knew well and this website is serving as a little research into covering my butt. I hope I didn't scare you with that information, but I can see the beauty of a Pre-nuptial agreement now.

 

[Kelly143]

Floridadivorce.com Under common questions number 7

7. Division of property acquired during marriage (including pension/401k type programs, and businesses) and division of debts. Note that the assets to divide would usually not include inherited property, property brought into the marriage by one spouse, or property acquired via a gift from a third party solely to one spouse. (even if such gift is during the marriage.) But one exception to this principle may be where the property has been put into both names.

 

[Toniree]

Jaaronboag:

Read your own post. You said "everything has to be decided on if it was acquired AFTER the marriage." An engagement ring is given as a contractual agreement to get married. Meaning if you guys would have never gotten married, she would have to give up the ring. She did fill that obligation by marrying you. Her engagment ring was not a gift after the marriage, therefore, it does not fall under marital assets. Unfortunately, let it go. You have no legal rights to her engagement ring. As for the wedding ring, you already have your half of it. It's on your finger. I am pretty sure you guys have other things to split, but the engagement ring is 100% hers. Remember, she fulfilled the contract for the engagement ring and married you.

 

[jaaronboag]

I popped the question with my family's antique wedding band, and not the engagement ring. the engagement ring was given to my wife later. as far as the ring not falling into the catagory of property to be divided...i'm not a third party and I could have sworn I read some posted literature regarding gifts to each other being 50/50 and having to be divided with the rest of the spoils. i have read so much material on divorce recently, and honestly not by choice, so I guess I made mistake as far as your (kelly143) question is concerned (if you live in florida) thank you for pointing it out.
be well all

quite honeslty, i just want the ring back because it was such an investment of time and money on my part, and i feel that she didn't hold up her end of the contract (it's so sad now how it just sounds like a business deal gone array). she told me forever and i went all out in every department.
when i made reference to the 50/50 split i was refering to the #50 in floridadivorce.com's common questions section:#50 are gifts from one spouse to the other during the course of the marriage subject in general to 50/50 split.? (lots of 50s there!)

a florida lawer answered "yes" and then he added a 50

 

[Kelly143]

Again, I'm sorry about your marriage. It must be very difficult. My husband and I have had plenty of problems ourselves and it isn't easy being the one who wants to fight to save the marriage. I've been there myself. I hope everything works for you and that if you ever give the institution another chance, you find someone more worthy of you! Good luck.

 

[Toniree]

Listen, do what I did. When my first husband tried to be really nasty while I didn't want to go through court, I hit him where it hurt. All I really wanted was my music (which was written by his stepfather). He refused to give it to me. I told him, no problem. When we go to court, they will make you sell you precious baseball card collection (which was worth a lot) and give me half. Not wanting to do that, he gave me what I wanted and I let him have his card collection. There has got to be something that your wife would not want liquidated (for whatever reason) and you might be able to use that to get your ring back. See, what you would have to split up as 50/50, so would she. Sometimes doing things amicably makes spliting up things a lot easier. Try it and let us know.

Good Luck