Wife cheated on me. I have pics. Can I send them to the cheaters boss?

[Silverplum]

That statement makes me want to call OPs local PD.

He's hurt and angry. I'm betting on him to be honorable.

 

[Just Blue]

He's hurt and angry. I'm betting on him to be honorable.

I agree that he is hurt and angry. But I won't take the bet of him being with honor..If he was he wouldn't have posted this.

 

[FacelessMind]

I don't know about anyone else, but this statement sends a chill up my spine...

Thank GOD I'm not the only one! I read that and had to re-read it again! oubleTake:

 

[FacelessMind]

Virginia (but I'm military. Wife's state is Maryland. The cheaters state is Virginia)

Hello,

I caught my wife texting another man. I'll call him the cheater even though both were cheating. They were sending illicit picture (nude) and were planning to meet while I was away on training. I'm military.

The cheater is a dentist- a trusted member of society. I want his boss to know his character- a man who cheats with military spouses while the husband is deployed. Is there any legal law the prohibits me sending his employers the screenshots of the illicit texts that he sent my wife and expressing my concerns about his professionalism?

Gee, what could go wrong by sending your wife's lover's boss nude photos of him and your wife and trying to ruin his career?

You DO realize if you do this you become the one who looks crazy right? And if you DO decide to do this you become, in my opinion, just as bad if not worse than she is.

And does anyone else smell lawsuit all over this? Ruining the career of someone because you can't deal with your emotions in a mature manner? Lost wages, pain and suffering etc etc etc. You know as well as I do how much the military just LOVES it when charges are brought against a member or a member is sued over doing some idiotic crap like this. Think with your brain, not with your emotions. Is it worth getting sued over? Is it worth having to confess to your commanding what you did out of jealousy and anger?

Look, you caught your wife cheating. Deal with it the big boy way and either get counseling or divorce her. The other guy isn't your problem. That's right, I said it. THE OTHER GUY ISN'T YOUR PROBLEM; NOR IS IT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY OR PLACE TO PLAY PUNISHER AND RUIN THIS MAN'S CAREER BECAUSE YOUR WIFE SLEPT AROUND. Have you even considered who else she has slept with asides from the dentist? Are you going to play judge with all of their lives too? Do the right thing and take the high road. Don't become a D.

 

[Proserpina]

I don't know about anyone else, but this statement sends a chill up my spine...

I'll come right out and say it.

I want the wife to leave this guy, and I absolutely 100% understand why she cheated.

CLEARLY she recognized that there was something very, very wrong in this relationship.

 

[Proserpina]

No, he's not married. He's an ex-boyfriend of hers.

I got the pics on her phone. Over the past few weeks I noticed she was texting quite a bit. When I looked at her, she'd quickly turn her phone away from me. I finally got her password by watching her. Now I've never been one to snoop but I had a bad feeling. One night she fell asleep and I had a chance to look at the phone. That's how I found out. I have to go to the field soon, and I found out she was inviting him while I would be out in the field training.

And this?

This makes a mockery out of every honorable member of our military.

 

[CdwJava]

I'll come right out and say it.

I want the wife to leave this guy, and I absolutely 100% understand why she cheated.

CLEARLY she recognized that there was something very, very wrong in this relationship.

Then she should have left.

Clearly there is something wrong with the relationship because there is a lack of trust (his snooping through her phone) and infidelity (her unfaithfulness is apparent by her affair). So, the end of the marriage is all but a foregone conclusion. Though, to say that she did this because of the OP is justifying every such unfaithful entanglement as being the fault of the spouse or partner. If you want to screw other people, get out of the marriage. If you don't like living with your spouse for whatever reason, get out of the marriage. Hopping into someone else's bed because you are unhappy in your marriage is inexcusable. That being said, the revenge being sought by the OP is similarly unjustified and will avail him nothing except to make him look like a vindictive a-hole.

As previously stated by others, if he really wants to forgive her and she's willing to work out the marriage, they can try counseling - I don't see it working at this juncture, but, who knows? Otherwise, it si time for an attorney and divorce. Hopefully there have been no children spawned by this coupling.

 

[STEPHAN]

I want the wife to leave this guy, and I absolutely 100% understand why she cheated.

Proserpina, as much as I agree that there is something wrong, I disagree that cheating is a solution. You can always try to get counseling or leave.

Cheating makes things worse.

 

[cbg]

Understanding why an action was taken, and condoning the action, are not necessarily the same thing, though.

 

[CdwJava]

Understanding why an action was taken, and condoning the action, are not necessarily the same thing, though.

I also understand why people might shoplift, commit burglary, drink while underage, and a host of other things ... yet, we don't tend to be so understanding of such actions here. At least, we haven't been. The fact that hubby MAY be a controlling Adam Henry doesn't in any way justify her actions or even CAUSE her actions. She chose to sleep with someone else because she wanted whatever she got from that tryst. Perhaps it was danger, romance, bonding, or simply a warm afterglow - we will never know. But, he did not cause her infidelity - she chose that. He may have contributed to the dysfunction in the relationship, but he did not propel her into the arms of another.

 

[Proserpina]

Understanding why an action was taken, and condoning the action, are not necessarily the same thing, though.

Apparently they are, in this thread.

If I see a single parent, dumped by the other parent, without a penny to their name... I can understand why they might steal a box of cornflakes. Do I condone it? No, no I do not. But I understand it.

I had no idea I'd have to explain what I thought was a very simple concept.

My. Bad.

 

[Proserpina]

Proserpina, as much as I agree that there is something wrong, I disagree that cheating is a solution. You can always try to get counseling or leave.

Cheating makes things worse.

Would you please point out where I said cheating was a solution to anything?

Anyone? Bueller?

 

[CdwJava]

Sorry, but I have a very puritanical view of marriage, and I hear a lot of explanations by people trying to justify it or even understand it. For me it's an issue that defies attempts at explanation, only (failed) attempts at justification.

 

[Silverplum]

Instead of focusing on the angry and scary statement, how 'bout reading the whole thread and noting that the OP had written this?

Thank you for your help. Forgiveness as a direction... that's a different way to look at it. I'm going to think about how to go about it. thanks again

How many of you "worried responders" have been to war? How many of you have children who went to war? How many of you have spent more than an hour with a military man who's been to war and home and back to war and back to home?

It takes character to do what he did, and no character to do what his wife did. So he felt angry: as of the time of his posting, he hadn't done a darn thing about it. During his posting, he came to listen.

I still have faith in him to do the right thing.

 

[single317dad]

Personally, I think we should end state sponsorship of marriage altogether and return it to the religious ceremony it was always meant to be. Then, the church could deal with its failed marriages in its own way as it saw fit, and we could stop writing these ridiculous, completely unenforceable contracts which is all the official marriage amounts to.

In the vast majority of cases, cheating means absolutely nothing to the marriage or the divorce. Your or my moral judgment on the matter is inconsequential. Maybe God will judge these folks for breaking their sacred vows, maybe not, but whether we judge them isn't legally relevant nor is it even important to society at large anymore.