Wife filing false reports. How to stop it or defend against?

[pittsburg_22_m]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

My wife had me arrested two days ago for "Aggravated Intimidation of a Witness" which is a level 6 felony. It alleges on March 1 I intimidated her into not showing up for a Domestic Battery trial against me. She pled guilty in December and was to attend Alternatives to Battery classes for 6 months but she's never went to one class. I was innocent and decided to fight it knowing they had zero evidence. The charges on me were dropped when she failed to show twice. The first time she had surgery the day of court and even called the court when I was there. The second time she no showed because of a death in her family and I told the prosecutor that was the reason. In no way did I prevent her from showing up or threaten her if she did. I simply told her it was ridiculous for her to insist on testifying against me as she knew I did nothing wrong. She had charges filed April 16, 3 weeks after the charges were dropped against me for the Domestic battery trial. I had to spend $1000 out of pocket for bail on this charge and I'm simply infuriated. I have temporary custody of our child and have moved on living in my house with my girlfriend and her children while my wife is out stripping at nightclubs and doing drugs.

How can I get the police to stop arresting me for baseless accusations? I know I will not be convicted as there is no way in hell they have any evidence against me for anything. But its rather expensive to bail myself out every time and having my name in the arrests while I own a small business is embarrassing. Any thoughts?

Thanks!

 

[CJane]

It's more embarrassing to be arrested than to be married and living with a new girlfriend and the children of the marriage? Kind of weird.

You do know that in KS, it's going to be considered a MUCH bigger deal that you moved the GF in than that Mom is a stripper, yes?

Can you prove she does drugs in the presence of the children and that they're in danger because of it?

And telling Mom that it's 'pointless for her to testify' could EASILY be construed as intimidating her if she's frightened of you -- and with DV charges pending against you, it wouldn't be difficult for her to prove that she was frightened.

Is there a restraining order? If so, you violated it by speaking to her to tell her that she shouldn't bother to testify.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

My wife had me arrested two days ago for "Aggravated Intimidation of a Witness" which is a level 6 felony. It alleges on March 1 I intimidated her into not showing up for a Domestic Battery trial against me. She pled guilty in December and was to attend Alternatives to Battery classes for 6 months but she's never went to one class. I was innocent and decided to fight it knowing they had zero evidence. The charges on me were dropped when she failed to show twice. The first time she had surgery the day of court and even called the court when I was there. The second time she no showed because of a death in her family and I told the prosecutor that was the reason. In no way did I prevent her from showing up or threaten her if she did. I simply told her it was ridiculous for her to insist on testifying against me as she knew I did nothing wrong. She had charges filed April 16, 3 weeks after the charges were dropped against me for the Domestic battery trial. I had to spend $1000 out of pocket for bail on this charge and I'm simply infuriated. I have temporary custody of our child and have moved on living in my house with my girlfriend and her children while my wife is out stripping at nightclubs and doing drugs.

How can I get the police to stop arresting me for baseless accusations? I know I will not be convicted as there is no way in hell they have any evidence against me for anything. But its rather expensive to bail myself out every time and having my name in the arrests while I own a small business is embarrassing. Any thoughts?

Thanks!

Well, it was really dumb of you to talk to her at all (above bolded)....and possibly equally dumb of you to move your girlfriend into your home while all this was pending.

If you don't have an attorney you probably need to hire one, to help you avoid making mistakes.

 

[CJane]

Well, it was really dumb of you to talk to her at all (above bolded)....and possibly equally dumb of you to move your girlfriend into your home while all this was pending.

If you don't have an attorney you probably need to hire one, to help you avoid making mistakes.

I get the feeling, from the tone of the original post, that this guy can't help but 1) think he couldn't possibly need an attorney because it's OBVIOUS he's been set up and 2) can't help but make mistakes against all the best advice in the world.

 

[pittsburg_22_m]

I have an attorney. She's out of town at the moment so I'm a bit eager to get thoughts on my own time. As for the girlfriend moving in, my lawyer informed me that its absolutely irrelevant. (yeah...surprised me too)

 

[pittsburg_22_m]

It's more embarrassing to be arrested than to be married and living with a new girlfriend and the children of the marriage? Kind of weird.

You do know that in KS, it's going to be considered a MUCH bigger deal that you moved the GF in than that Mom is a stripper, yes?

Can you prove she does drugs in the presence of the children and that they're in danger because of it?

And telling Mom that it's 'pointless for her to testify' could EASILY be construed as intimidating her if she's frightened of you -- and with DV charges pending against you, it wouldn't be difficult for her to prove that she was frightened.

Is there a restraining order? If so, you violated it by speaking to her to tell her that she shouldn't bother to testify.

Its 2007. Shacking up is as commonplace as the sun rising in the morning.

Can I prove she behaves like a lunatic while having my child with her? Yes. As for drugs, I can't prove she does it front of children but when she's high on meth (or whatever her drug of the month is) that she behaves irrationally.

I dropped the restraining order months ago when she seemed to be behaving herself. She's not frightened of me. Or the law. The only thing she fears is not having money.

 

[CJane]

Its 2007. Shacking up is as commonplace as the sun rising in the morning.

Commonplace does not = legally irrelevant. Kansas still takes 'the morality of the parent' into account when setting custody. Moving your GF into the marital home with the children without being divorced is very unlikely to set well with a judge.

Can I prove she behaves like a lunatic while having my child with her? Yes.

Can you prove that she's a DANGER TO THE CHILD?

As for drugs, I can't prove she does it front of children but when she's high on meth (or whatever her drug of the month is) that she behaves irrationally.

Most people are irrational when high. Prove she's dangerous.

I dropped the restraining order months ago when she seemed to be behaving herself.

Did she have an order against YOU? YOU are the one with pending charges.

She's not frightened of me.

She only has to offer evidence that she perceived a threat when you told her not to testify. Might not be too awfully hard.

 

[Bali Hai]

Commonplace does not = legally irrelevant. Kansas still takes 'the morality of the parent' into account when setting custody. Moving your GF into the marital home with the children without being divorced is very unlikely to set well with a judge.



Can you prove that she's a DANGER TO THE CHILD?



Most people are irrational when high. Prove she's dangerous.



Did she have an order against YOU? YOU are the one with pending charges.



She only has to offer evidence that she perceived a threat when you told her not to testify. Might not be too awfully hard.

Your whole response is centered on how the woman "feels" and what her "perception" is.

It is the same view as the court, "to he11 with the man".

If the wife made allegations about the husband being a drug user, he would have pissed in a jar and gave a hair sample a long time ago.

 

[CJane]

Your whole response is centered on how the woman "feels" and what her "perception" is.

It is the same view as the court, "to he11 with the man".

If the wife made allegations about the husband being a drug user, he would have pissed in a jar and gave a hair sample a long time ago.

My focus on 'Perception' and 'feeling' has nothing to do with the gender of the person and everything to do with the fact that LEGALLY, if some FEELS or PERCEIVES that there is a THREAT against them, it's seen as the same as an ACTUAL THREAT.

When I was car-jacked, it didn't matter that the gun the guy used wouldn't function and wasn't loaded - I PERCEIVED that my life was in danger, and he was prosecuted accordingly.

Same applies here. THere's a DV charge pending against this guy and he shows up and tells her that she shouldn't testify. If she can convince the court that she FELT THREATENED then she's got a strong case. The SAME WOULD APPLY if the 'victim' in this case was male.

 

[pittsburg_22_m]

Commonplace does not = legally irrelevant. Kansas still takes 'the morality of the parent' into account when setting custody. Moving your GF into the marital home with the children without being divorced is very unlikely to set well with a judge.

Can you prove that she's a DANGER TO THE CHILD?

Most people are irrational when high. Prove she's dangerous.

Did she have an order against YOU? YOU are the one with pending charges.

She only has to offer evidence that she perceived a threat when you told her not to testify. Might not be too awfully hard.

My lawyer already says its completely irrelevant as there is no danger. As for morality, she's a stripper.

I absolutely can prove she is a danger. She's unstable. Bipolar.

There is no order against ME.

She screamed at my mom and told her she called the police because I won't let her see our daughter and my family intimidates her. There's no chance in hell I'll be convicted. I'll bet my own life on that. However the expense of dealing with it is the real problem. And its rather embarrassing having your name in the paper when they never print the fact you were acquitted.

 

[pittsburg_22_m]

My focus on 'Perception' and 'feeling' has nothing to do with the gender of the person and everything to do with the fact that LEGALLY, if some FEELS or PERCEIVES that there is a THREAT against them, it's seen as the same as an ACTUAL THREAT.

When I was car-jacked, it didn't matter that the gun the guy used wouldn't function and wasn't loaded - I PERCEIVED that my life was in danger, and he was prosecuted accordingly.

Same applies here. THere's a DV charge pending against this guy and he shows up and tells her that she shouldn't testify. If she can convince the court that she FELT THREATENED then she's got a strong case. The SAME WOULD APPLY if the 'victim' in this case was male.

Tell that to the police. I call the police on her for domestic battery and I get arrested. Not once, TWICE. Gender means a lot even now. Both times the charges were dropped as there was absolutely no fact or evidence. None. The legal system in Kansas is most definitely gender biased. Luckily I have plenty of evidence on her drug use, admission of drug use, two times spent in a psych ward, and her criminal past.

 

[Bali Hai]

Tell that to the police. I call the police on her for domestic battery and I get arrested. Not once, TWICE. Gender means a lot even now. Both times the charges were dropped as there was absolutely no fact or evidence. None. The legal system in Kansas is most definitely gender biased. Luckily I have plenty of evidence on her drug use, admission of drug use, two times spent in a psych ward, and her criminal past.

Absolutely correct. The man will go to jail in domestic violence cases every time.

The only time a woman will go to jail would be in domestic violence cases involving lesbians.

These women don't see the bias against men from the justice system because they are blind to it. You need to be a man to experience this.

It would be the same as trying to convince the KKK that there were civil rights violations in Alabama in the 1960's.

 

[Bali Hai]

My focus on 'Perception' and 'feeling' has nothing to do with the gender of the person and everything to do with the fact that LEGALLY, if some FEELS or PERCEIVES that there is a THREAT against them, it's seen as the same as an ACTUAL THREAT.

Of course no wife would intentionally tell the court that she felt threatened when in fact she did not just to get the husband arrested and build a false case against him?

When I was car-jacked, it didn't matter that the gun the guy used wouldn't function and wasn't loaded - I PERCEIVED that my life was in danger, and he was prosecuted accordingly.

That is an entirely different situation than a vindictive drug using wife using the justice system to get sympathy from the court and the upper hand in a divorce.

Same applies here. THere's a DV charge pending against this guy and he shows up and tells her that she shouldn't testify. If she can convince the court that she FELT THREATENED then she's got a strong case. The SAME WOULD APPLY if the 'victim' in this case was male.

I agree that OP should have not made contact with her, but, I also believe OP when he says it is theatrics on her part and she does not in fact "feel" threatened.

 

[CJane]

I agree that OP should have not made contact with her, but, I also believe OP when he says it is theatrics on her part and she does not in fact "feel" threatened.

Bali ~ I never once stated that I believed that the wife felt threatened. My intent was to get OP to look at the whole picture in his case and understand that he needs to take things like this far more seriously than he seems to be doing.

There are a lot of issues that are going to be a BIG DEAL in the state of Kansas - and he's refusing to see that. That's going to bite him in the ass.

 

[pittsburg_22_m]

Bali ~ I never once stated that I believed that the wife felt threatened. My intent was to get OP to look at the whole picture in his case and understand that he needs to take things like this far more seriously than he seems to be doing.

There are a lot of issues that are going to be a BIG DEAL in the state of Kansas - and he's refusing to see that. That's going to bite him in the ass.

Like what issues are a BIG DEAL?

We haven't been married but 3 years. I've already consulted an attorney on the shacking up and was told it means absolutely nothing since we were already separated.