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Originally Posted by mkathyf let me add a little bit more. This completely blind-sided me. I had no idea it was coming. It is not what I want. But, she said she has not been happy for the past 2 years. First she wanted to "separate" but stay in the spare bedroom. Then she agreed to at least spend some time talking about it...only to change her mind 2 days later. This repeated itself twice. Finally decided to move in with her parents (15 minutes away).
She had a good, full time jobthat she loved. (not great money) She has brought home several rescue dogs, which she has left at our home....some with health issues. Then, when she had decided to move out, she just quite her job. (she said she knew they were going to get rid of someone, so she just volunteered)
To let you know how blind sided I was, we had just finalized our plans to begin building a new home....on property that her parents own.
Now, what do you guys think? |
Honestly, I think that I have been there, done that to some extent.
My ex and I splitted just a couple of months after we had purchased our first home, gutted it, and it still was barely habitable. Be thankful that this arose BEFORE you started construction rather than after...seriously, particularly since it was on property that her parents owned. I was totally blindsided as well. I was suddenly stuck with a house that was halfway under construction and a husband that went AWOL. That was 19 years ago and he and I are best friends today, but it was not pleasant back then.
You might be being a bit unfair about her job. She may have known or suspected that she was the one who was going to go, and just decided to pre-empt things.
Divorce is never pleasant...splitting up is never pleasant. Your children are going to have their own opinions of the situation due to their ages.
The more amicably the two of you can handle this the better it will be for your children. The more that the two of you can avoid any hint of your children taking "sides" the healthiest it will be for them.