wife moved out, assumes no responsibity,what are my rights?

[mkathyf]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

my wife moved out, after some repeated efforts to work out things out. She moved in with her parents, quit her job, says that I am better equipped to take care of the kids ( 3 kids - 2 - 16 yrs old and one 17 yr old) ,dogs ( hers) house etc. So, I am doing all of that. what is my legal standing?

Thank you

[xylene]

Originally Posted by mkathyf

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

my wife moved out, after some repeated efforts to work out things out. She moved in with her parents, quit her job, says that I am better equipped to take care of the kids ( 3 kids - 2 - 16 yrs old and one 17 yr old) ,dogs ( hers) house etc. So, I am doing all of that. what is my legal standing?

Thank you

You need to get a lawyer, divorce your wife and formalize custody and child support.

She has obligations to her children, she can't just decide that "she's done" and waive her obligations.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by mkathyf

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OHIO

my wife moved out, after some repeated efforts to work out things out. She moved in with her parents, quit her job, says that I am better equipped to take care of the kids ( 3 kids - 2 - 16 yrs old and one 17 yr old) ,dogs ( hers) house etc. So, I am doing all of that. what is my legal standing?

Thank you

Start by being thankful that you have a huge edge when it comes to determining permanent custody.

You start by filing for divorce, ask for temporary possession of the house, temporary custody, and temporary child support. Then, when you get your hearing, ask for all those things to be made permanent. Ohio has a wide range of grounds for divorce, but 'Incompatibility' is the most likely one if your stbx agrees. If she doesn't agree, you may have to wait a year and use the 'separate and apart' grounds.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

Start by being thankful that you have a huge edge when it comes to determining permanent custody.

You start by filing for divorce, ask for temporary possession of the house, temporary custody, and temporary child support. Then, when you get your hearing, ask for all those things to be made permanent. Ohio has a wide range of grounds for divorce, but 'Incompatibility' is the most likely one if your stbx agrees. If she doesn't agree, you may have to wait a year and use the 'separate and apart' grounds.

I don't know that you can call it a "huge edge". One child is 17 and will likely be 18 before all is said and done, and the other 2 are 16, and will be 18 in less than two years.

Neither one of them were going to be collecting any child support for long...nor will custody be relevant for long either.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I don't know that you can call it a "huge edge". One child is 17 and will likely be 18 before all is said and done, and the other 2 are 16, and will be 18 in less than two years.

Neither one of them were going to be collecting any child support for long...nor will custody be relevant for long either.

That's true, but he's still going to have an edge when it comes to settling custody. The custodial situation may not last long, but that doesn't change the facts.

Probably more importantly, the kids will remember that their mother abandoned them and he stepped in.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

That's true, but he's still going to have an edge when it comes to settling custody. The custodial situation may not last long, but that doesn't change the facts.

Probably more importantly, the kids will remember that their mother abandoned them and he stepped in.

Misto, you are assuming a lot of facts not in evidence. Neither of us are privy to the details of their marriage. I certainly agree that the children are old enough to have their own opinion of whatever has gone on to cause their split. However it is a bit of a stretch to assume that their mother has abandoned them. You wouldn't assume that a father who chose to be the one to move out was abandoning his children.

My guess is that in any marriage that is falling apart, the parent leaving would not attempt to take 3 teenagers with him/her.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Misto, you are assuming a lot of facts not in evidence. Neither of us are privy to the details of their marriage. I certainly agree that the children are old enough to have their own opinion of whatever has gone on to cause their split. However it is a bit of a stretch to assume that their mother has abandoned them. You wouldn't assume that a father who chose to be the one to move out was abandoning his children.

My guess is that in any marriage that is falling apart, the parent leaving would not attempt to take 3 teenagers with him/her.

She up and quit her job. THAT is abandoning her FINANCIAL responsibility to her family.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by nextwife

She up and quit her job. THAT is abandoning her FINANCIAL responsibility to her family.

Yes, she did that, but apparently she had to move in with her parents. OP did not state where her parents live in relation to the marital home, or what kind of job she had.

For all we know, the parent's home was two hours away and her job was a part time job that wouldn't have allowed her to live on her own.

My point is that we do not know enough facts to come to any kind of conclusion.

Yes, if her parents live 10 minutes away and she quit her job for no apparent reason then she is being quite irresponsible. However, we don't know that because OP did not give any details of the situation.

[mistoffolees]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Misto, you are assuming a lot of facts not in evidence. Neither of us are privy to the details of their marriage. I certainly agree that the children are old enough to have their own opinion of whatever has gone on to cause their split. However it is a bit of a stretch to assume that their mother has abandoned them. You wouldn't assume that a father who chose to be the one to move out was abandoning his children.

My guess is that in any marriage that is falling apart, the parent leaving would not attempt to take 3 teenagers with him/her.

In this case, Bali's right:
When a man leaves his home and leaves the children behind, you're quick to point out that it gives the woman an edge. But when it's the woman who moves out and leaves the kids behind, you're denying it.

Fact is that the preference is to sustain the status quo. In this case, the status quo is the kids staying with the father because the mother left.

I never claimed that he would definitely win custody since there ARE a lot of factors to be considered, but it is evident that her moving out gives him an advantage.

[Ohiogal]

I agree with Misto and Bali. Dad has a huge benefit for permanent custody. Mom has responsibilities. If she quit her job she can and WILL be imputed with whatever she was earning for both child support and spousal support purposes.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by mistoffolees

In this case, Bali's right:
When a man leaves his home and leaves the children behind, you're quick to point out that it gives the woman an edge. But when it's the woman who moves out and leaves the kids behind, you're denying it.

Fact is that the preference is to sustain the status quo. In this case, the status quo is the kids staying with the father because the mother left.

I never claimed that he would definitely win custody since there ARE a lot of factors to be considered, but it is evident that her moving out gives him an advantage.

Wow, you have really taken what I have written and gone in a totally different direction with it.

I first pointed out that the "huge edge" was not so huge an edge because of the children's ages and the short time that they would be subject to court orders. I believe that this father will absolutely end up with custody, for a myriad of reasons. I was simply pointing out that gaining custody was not a huge advantage to either party at this point. Its not something to spend massive amounts of legal fees on because the children will be subject to court orders for such a short period of time.

Then I pointed out that you were making some assumptions based on facts that were not in evidence. That it is unfair to accuse any parent, of either gender, of abandoning their children simply because they were the one to move out.

Then I pointed out to Nexie that she was making some financial assumptions based on facts that were also not in evidence.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Yes, she did that, but apparently she had to move in with her parents. OP did not state where her parents live in relation to the marital home, or what kind of job she had.
.

No, she didn't "have" to move in with her parents! She CHOSE to move in with her parents.

Plenty of adults sever relationships without moving to mommy AND daddy! She had a job, she could have rented a place in the area. Or found a temporary roommate situation, there ARE other choices adults who need housing make other than moving into their parents house. I never moved back home after a break up, nor did any of my sibs. I know lots of people who separated and did not move into their parents homes. They made their own arrangements as adults.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

I agree with Misto and Bali. Dad has a huge benefit for permanent custody. Mom has responsibilities. If she quit her job she can and WILL be imputed with whatever she was earning for both child support and spousal support purposes.

Yes, but there are two children who are 16 and one who is 17. I didn't disagree that dad would get custody. I was pointing out that it will be a very short term victory and likely that the 17 year old would turn 18 before it was all said and done.

My guess is that is in the end, mom will end up ordered to pay child support for not much more than a year, for the younger two kids. My guess is that it wouldn't be any different if dad was the one who moved out.

[nextwife]

Also, f Mom is a co borrower on the mortgage, moving away and quitting her job does not remove her co responsibility for that mortgage. I get SOOOOO annoyed with co borrowers who think their personal choice to up and leave the property somehow means they aren't required to pay us their mortgage anymore!

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Yes, but there are two children who are 16 and one who is 17. I didn't disagree that dad would get custody. I was pointing out that it will be a very short term victory and likely that the 17 year old would turn 18 before it was all said and done.

My guess is that is in the end, mom will end up ordered to pay child support for not much more than a year, for the younger two kids. My guess is that it wouldn't be any different if dad was the one who moved out.

Child support does NOT necessarily end at 18 in Ohio.