You go file for divorce!! I'm not too sure about Fla, but here, the person who files for divorce first gets top priority in the divorce. Go, file, and for the preliminary separation papers, state that you would like custody. (And anything else you want to have, house, car, etc) Like I said, here in my state, whoever gets to the courthouse first gets whatever they want in the preliminary separation (although after the couple and/or lawyers fight it out, the final divorce is often quite different. ) I looked up a little bit of Fla law, and it appears it is a no-fault state, and that custody is based upon what is best for the child, with no presumption that the mother should automatically get custody. Also, it said that in Fla it is preferred to keep both parents involved, so you should be ready to share custody, unless you can prove she is unfit/abusive, etc. As long as you can prove that you are the best parent, you can get custody. However, every day the child lives with her, and not you, is one day closer to losing custody. A judge is not going to want to yank a child out of a home he/she is currently living in. (This is why most mothers get custody, because when the "split" between parents happens, fathers leave the kids with her at first, thinking they can get them later - this is not the case!!) Stand up for yourself. Be fair, reasonable and willing to compromise. Each state has a list of criteria that judges use to determine who gets custody. The number one criteria listed for Fla is 1) The parent who is more likely to allow frequent and continuing contact with the other parent.
So be sure you give the judge that impression that YOU are the parent who is willing to be more reasonable and amicable!!
The next criteria, in descending order, are
2) The love, affection and existing emotional ties between child and parent. * You do have a relationship with the child, right??*
3) Tha capacity and ability to meet the child's material needs.
* You can provide for the child, right??? *
The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability of maintaining stability.
*This is the part about where the child is currently living, which is why you need to make your case as soon as possible. If you have been seperated for a long time and the child has been with her, your chances really decrease. *
*and so on, down the list............
The permanence, as a family unit, of the current or new custodial home.
Moral fitness of the parents.
Mental and physical health of the parents.
The home, school, and community record of the child.
The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding and experience to express a preference
Also, as a final note, you said your "child" is living with her, and then asked what you can do to get custody of the "children" Was this a typo??
And trust me sweetheart, you are about to learn the number one fact about divorce- the court doesn't give a rat's ass that she cheated on you - the court won't "punish" her for it, it will NOT help you in the divorce. So get over it.
This is my research and personal experience with divorce talking
I am NOT a legal professional.
