Wife moved out, question about the house

[antonlmo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

Hello. My wife is having an affair and left me about 7-8 mos ago. My question is, what is needed to get her off the mortgage? I have proof of the affair and copies of her mail with her new address on it. She is not contributing anything to the household, so I don't think it should be a big deal. Right now I just can't a divorce, but I know that soon I will be at peace with myself enough to do it. And to be honest I would rather have this taken care of before a judge steps in if possible.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

Hello. My wife is having an affair and left me about 7-8 mos ago. My question is, what is needed to get her off the mortgage? I have proof of the affair and copies of her mail with her new address on it. She is not contributing anything to the household, so I don't think it should be a big deal. Right now I just can't a divorce, but I know that soon I will be at peace with myself enough to do it. And to be honest I would rather have this taken care of before a judge steps in if possible.

Of course it's a big deal. You're still married to her, you can't just walk away from your responsibilities and her rights. She's part owner of the house (assuming that it's a marital asset). Once you file for a divorce, you can't do it, either, until a judge says it's OK.

Once you have a divorce, you can ask the bank nicely if they would take her off the mortgage. If your credit rating is good and you can handle the payments, they might do it, but they're not obligated.

 

[LdiJ]

Of course it's a big deal. You're still married to her, you can't just walk away from your responsibilities and her rights. She's part owner of the house (assuming that it's a marital asset). Once you file for a divorce, you can't do it, either, until a judge says it's OK.

Once you have a divorce, you can ask the bank nicely if they would take her off the mortgage. If your credit rating is good and you can handle the payments, they might do it, but they're not obligated.

However, what's most likely to be necessary is for you to refinance the mortgage to both get her off the mortgage and buy out her share of the equity.

 

[Bali Hai]

Of course it's a big deal. You're still married to her, you can't just walk away from your responsibilities and her rights. She's part owner of the house (assuming that it's a marital asset). Once you file for a divorce, you can't do it, either, until a judge says it's OK.

Once you have a divorce, you can ask the bank nicely if they would take her off the mortgage. If your credit rating is good and you can handle the payments, they might do it, but they're not obligated.

Well isn't that what SHE did!?!?

OOPS!!....How stupid of me to forget that wives are allowed to be irresponsible in the marriage, but not husbands. Please forgive my absent mindedness.

 

[DealingWDrama]

I'm in Florida, so the laws are more than likely different here - and I am not an attorney, but I do know from experience that in Florida the house cannot be sold, refinanced, or changed without the consent of the spouse. I understand how difficult it is to file for divorce, especially when you feel within your heart that you are not emotionally ready even though your spouse is obviously involved with another person. Therapy is a great resource - you will be able to speak with an objective person who will be able to help you sort through your feelings and emotions which are very real even though they don't add up logically all the time. Good luck ...

 

[antonlmo]

Of course it's a big deal. You're still married to her, you can't just walk away from your responsibilities and her rights. She's part owner of the house (assuming that it's a marital asset). Once you file for a divorce, you can't do it, either, until a judge says it's OK.

Once you have a divorce, you can ask the bank nicely if they would take her off the mortgage. If your credit rating is good and you can handle the payments, they might do it, but they're not obligated.

I'm with Bali Hai, how am I walking away from my responsibilities and her rights? She left me, she moved out to her own place and has been gone since Jan. What about abandonment? I have already gotten my key from her. And I misspoke, She is on the deed, not the mortgage. but I want her off of that. I know whats lawful is not always whats fair, but it seems to me that when you walk away and leave you should leave your rights as well.
Thanks for the comments.

 

[Zigner]

Well isn't that what SHE did!?!?

OOPS!!....How stupid of me to forget that wives are allowed to be irresponsible in the marriage, but not husbands. Please forgive my absent mindedness.

Nope - per the later post, she's NOT on the mortgage in the first place

In any case, the proper/legal way to do this is to file for divorce.

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm with Bali Hai, how am I walking away from my responsibilities and her rights? She left me, she moved out to her own place and has been gone since Jan. What about abandonment? I have already gotten my key from her. And I misspoke, She is on the deed, not the mortgage. but I want her off of that. I know whats lawful is not always whats fair, but it seems to me that when you walk away and leave you should leave your rights as well.

That's right. She should be a slave and never allowed to have a life of her own. By leaving a situation that she finds intolerable, she should give up all of her rights and leave everything to you. After all, she's your wife and you should own her.

Fortunately, the system doesn't work that way.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm with Bali Hai, how am I walking away from my responsibilities and her rights? She left me, she moved out to her own place and has been gone since Jan. What about abandonment? I have already gotten my key from her. And I misspoke, She is on the deed, not the mortgage. but I want her off of that. I know whats lawful is not always whats fair, but it seems to me that when you walk away and leave you should leave your rights as well.
Thanks for the comments.

She is on the deed, which means that the house is 1/2 her property. You can't get her off the deed unless she signs a quit claim deed, and she isn't going to do that unless you pay her, her share of the equity.

The only way a judge would order that she sign the quit claim deed without receiving 1/2 of the equity, would be if you were exchanging another marital asset for the home equity, or if you were taking an amount of marital debt equivalent to the home equity.

 

[antonlmo]

That's right. She should be a slave and never allowed to have a life of her own. By leaving a situation that she finds intolerable, she should give up all of her rights and leave everything to you. After all, she's your wife and you should own her.

Fortunately, the system doesn't work that way.

Thanks for the comments. Now to mistoffolees, it's apparent you have deep unresolved issues so I suggest you take care of those before offering advice on subjects such as this. And no I don't care if you're a lawyer, judge or clerk or you're just an law and order junkie. Since you only have what I have presented to you, you do not have the foresight or knowledge to speak on anything except what I have told you. the only sensible part of your post is that she found the situation intolerable. I thought your second sentence of your first post was ridiculous but I see you swung for the fences and whiffed on your second post. But anyway, please stay out of my threads if this is the best you can do. Thanks.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thanks for the comments. Now to mistoffolees, it's apparent you have deep unresolved issues so I suggest you take care of those before offering advice on subjects such as this. And no I don't care if you're a lawyer, judge or clerk or you're just an law and order junkie. Since you only have what I have presented to you, you do not have the foresight or knowledge to speak on anything except what I have told you. the only sensible part of your post is that she found the situation intolerable. I thought your second sentence of your first post was ridiculous but I see you swung for the fences and whiffed on your second post. But anyway, please stay out of my threads if this is the best you can do. Thanks.

Maybe you don't get the idea of a public forum. You don't get to dictate who can respond and who can't. Who was it who said "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

But my statement was right on the money - which is why you're so upset. Your first post reeks of "it's my house because my stbx didn't contribute, so how do I take it away from her." There is absolutely no evidence that you're trying to be fair.

 

[antonlmo]

Maybe you don't get the idea of a public forum. You don't get to dictate who can respond and who can't. Who was it who said "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

But my statement was right on the money - which is why you're so upset. Your first post reeks of "it's my house because my stbx didn't contribute, so how do I take it away from her." There is absolutely no evidence that you're trying to be fair.

Since I am on numerous boards, I know how how a public forum works and believe me, you brought no heat just assumptions, unfounded ones at that. Second who said I was upset? I simply spoke truth. And notice I did not tell you not to respond, i just wanted you to do a better job at it. Finally, how can I take something away from someone who just leaves it behind? I really dont want you to answer that, it's rhetorical.

There is absolutely no evidence that you're trying to be fair

Yet without evidence you get on some rambling about owning slaves? lol Just stick with what I have giving you and go on from there. If you have done that, then there really is no need for you to continue in this thread, now is there? But anyway, I have the answer to my question thanks LDIJ, DRAMA and Zigner..