Will I have to pay support to lazy husband?

[Liz T]

What is the name of your state? IL
My husband does not work. He sells things on E-Bay and says he is a "musician". We will be married 5 years this fall. We don't have sex. (once so far this year) I believe he is gay and he also smokes pot. We have nothing in common and I want out!!! I am the only one working and supporting him. I own a home that I had previous to the marriage, I have $50,000 in an invetment account that I had before the marriage from a previous divorce settlement. we have no kids. We are in our 50's. His name is not on any of my bank accounts or the house. I have a 20 year old son who lives at home and is a full time college student. My husband has never supported his self. When I met him he was living with his dad, who is still around and he could go back to.
My question is...Will I have to give this freeloader alimony or some kind of settlement?

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes as he will be entitled to half of all marital assets as well as half of all debt. He has a right to short term alimony so be prepared for a judge to award him that -- the amount may be as much as half your income. Half of all bank accounts that you have contributed your earnings too may be awarded to him. If the house has a mortgage and you have made payments from your income then half of all equity that has accrued during the marriage is his.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? IL
My husband does not work. He sells things on E-Bay and says he is a "musician". We will be married 5 years this fall. We don't have sex. (once so far this year) I believe he is gay and he also smokes pot. We have nothing in common and I want out!!! I am the only one working and supporting him. I own a home that I had previous to the marriage, I have $50,000 in an invetment account that I had before the marriage from a previous divorce settlement. we have no kids. We are in our 50's. His name is not on any of my bank accounts or the house. I have a 20 year old son who lives at home and is a full time college student. My husband has never supported his self. When I met him he was living with his dad, who is still around and he could go back to.
My question is...Will I have to give this freeloader alimony or some kind of settlement?

You have a short term marriage. Spousal support/alimony is very unlikely. However he would be entitled to 1/2 of the accrual of any assets that took place during the marriage if he fought for that.

So, 1/2 of any equity that accrued in the house in the last 5 years...1/2 of any bank accounts...1/2 of any vehicles...etc.

The investment account would probably be ok if it has just sat there without any new money going in.

You probably want to get yourself a consult with an attorney on this one. You have enough assets that you really don't want to be playing around with representing yourself.

 

[Liz T]

Thanks

We don't own any new cars and we haven't really purchased much..used furniture, stuff like that. He has purchased a lot of band equiptment tho. he has a loan for it, his dad signed for him. If we just agreed on everything could we do it ourselves?

 

[Ohiogal]

We don't own any new cars and we haven't really purchased much..used furniture, stuff like that. He has purchased a lot of band equiptment tho. he has a loan for it, his dad signed for him. If we just agreed on everything could we do it ourselves?

You could possibly.

 

[Just Blue]

My husband has never supported his self.

If this is an issue for you why did you marry him?

 

[Liz T]

Good question!

When I met him it was at a time my mother, sister, and nephew had all died within a year of each other and he was there. He lived in a small town with his dad and didn't have a drivers license (DUI) hadn't had it for 16 years. He had quit drinking before I met him and I have never seen him drink. I thought he just needed a break. I did not know that there are people who are happy to do nothing with themselves. I had never met anyone like that before. I am an engineer and this redneck stuff was new to me!! I think he is gay, for lots of reason's I won't go into here, and I want a sex life!!! Before we were married, he said he wanted to wait til we were married...I am still waiting!

 

[Bali Hai]

We don't own any new cars and we haven't really purchased much..used furniture, stuff like that. He has purchased a lot of band equiptment tho. he has a loan for it, his dad signed for him. If we just agreed on everything could we do it ourselves?

Sure you could do it yourselves, but if you start spewing the irrevelant crap about him during your divorce that you did here, don't expect things to go smoothly!!

I would suggest that you agree to a 50/50 split of all marital assets (bank accounts, 401k or other retirement accts etc.) and you keep all marital debt since you are the party with the "ability to pay".

I would also sweeten the pot with an offer of alimony, say for five years at 25% of your GROSS pay. His sacrifice to the marriage and the furtherence of your career when he stayed home with your son for five years "entitles" him to alimony and I think a judge would agree.

If you get greedy, you may find yourself paying horrendous legal fees.

 

[mistoffolees]

We don't own any new cars and we haven't really purchased much..used furniture, stuff like that. He has purchased a lot of band equiptment tho. he has a loan for it, his dad signed for him. If we just agreed on everything could we do it ourselves?

Yes, but......

I would recommend that you have an attorney do all the final documents to avoid making a mistake that could be very expensive. If you agree on everything and take it to the attorney for filing, it shouldn't be too expensive.

One thing to watch out for. Household goods are not quite worthless, but close. If you get to the detail where you are adding up all the values and dividing it, you can only count the value of that furniture at a garage sale - even if it's fairly recent (at least according to my attorney).

Where this becomes a problem is in his band equipment. It's value is going to be very low but the loan value is whatever it is. So it's conceivable that if you let him keep the band equipment, it may not be worth enough to offset the loan - and you could owe some of the loan. Granted, you would try to negotiate it differently, but it could be a problem if it goes to court.

 

[Liz T]

He never stayed home with my son and we have no marital dept. he has just laid around stoned for 5 years. I don't think illeagal drug use and homosexuality are "irrevelant crap"

 

[mistoffolees]

Sure you could do it yourselves, but if you start spewing the irrevelant crap about him during your divorce that you did here, don't expect things to go smoothly!!

I would suggest that you agree to a 50/50 split of all marital assets (bank accounts, 401k or other retirement accts etc.) and you keep all marital debt since you are the party with the "ability to pay".

I would also sweeten the pot with an offer of alimony, say for five years at 25% of your GROSS pay. His sacrifice to the marriage and the furtherence of your career when he stayed home with your son for five years "entitles" him to alimony and I think a judge would agree.

If you get greedy, you may find yourself paying horrendous legal fees.

This is, of course, absurdly generous. You have to be aware that Bali Hai is bitter because of his situation and never misses a chance to make himself look foolish.

If it gets to court, they're going to split marital assets AND marital debt. And there's no way you're going to be paying alimony of 25% of gross salary for 5 years. Temporary support while the divorce is pending? Sure. But not beyond that (assuming that he's capable of working and just doesn't want to).

Personally, I'd split marital assets and debt. Let him keep the musical instruments if he takes the loan on them (since his Dad's name is on it and yours isn't, you're not going to be held liable if he refuses to pay, anyway). You take the house and mortgage and pay him half of the equity growth during your marriage. Reasonable support for 6 months while the divorce is pending (don't offer to pay while the divorce is pending without a time limit or he'll drag it out). That would be a reasonable offer. He may counter, but if he lets it go to court, he's not going to get much more.

 

[mistoffolees]

He never stayed home with my son and we have no marital dept. he has just laid around stoned for 5 years. I don't think illeagal drug use and homosexuality are "irrevelant crap"

Actually, it is.... as far as divorce court is concerned. It may affect your ability to get a divorce (some states require grounds), but will have no impact on how much of your assets he gets to keep.

 

[LdiJ]

Sure you could do it yourselves, but if you start spewing the irrevelant crap about him during your divorce that you did here, don't expect things to go smoothly!!

I would suggest that you agree to a 50/50 split of all marital assets (bank accounts, 401k or other retirement accts etc.) and you keep all marital debt since you are the party with the "ability to pay".

I would also sweeten the pot with an offer of alimony, say for five years at 25% of your GROSS pay. His sacrifice to the marriage and the furtherence of your career when he stayed home with your son for five years "entitles" him to alimony and I think a judge would agree.

If you get greedy, you may find yourself paying horrendous legal fees.

Bali....its a 5 year marriage. There isn't going to be any alimony. Please stop that.

 

[Bali Hai]

He never stayed home with my son and we have no marital dept. he has just laid around stoned for 5 years. I don't think illeagal drug use and homosexuality are "irrevelant crap"

You "enabled" his behavior and consequently impaired his ability to support himself. This is a WINNING argument made by women all the time!! To what extent you impaired him will be determined by the court if this goes to trial.

The judge will make sure that you pay for his reasonable (includes your ability to pay) support and the duration of said support. There is no gender difference in the eyes of the LAW!!!

 

[LdiJ]

Actually, it is.... as far as divorce court is concerned. It may affect your ability to get a divorce (some states require grounds), but will have no impact on how much of your assets he gets to keep.

She doesn't need grounds in IL.