Withholding information

[Perhonen]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My ex's mom is giving me the worst run-around over what should be the most simplest divorce.

My ex and I were together for 3 months married before I left him, and when I did he got out of the navy and returned to texas. Even though there was no animosity between us, he felt it necessary to remove all my ways of contacting him. All I had was his parent's address.

So, 3 years later and still no word, I decide to file for divorce papers, but I can't find any way to contact him, so I write to his mother quite recently to ask his address.

First she tells me: "Your marriage was void, he's been married since February. Carry on with your life!"

So then she tells me the next day, "Oh actuallyt he marriage wasn't void, send me the divorce papers. I'll have him sign them."

I told her no, I needed his address, so I could have them properly served. She kept refusing to give me his address and now has told me he's NOT married, and that if I want a divorce I have to go through her. (lol)

So my question is: What am I allowed to do to get his address from her?
If I call their local sheriff, would they be able to get it? Or should I just serve him through a publication? I do not have the money for hassles, and honestly our divorce should be one of the more simple ones, since we have no kids and no debts or anything owned together.

Thanks~

[Silverplum]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for the laugh!

It's NOT your X's Mother's JOB to hand over any info about her son. It's up to YOU to hire a private detective or do whatever else.

But sweatin' Ma over it is NOT one of your options.

*LOL!*

Originally Posted by Perhonen

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My ex's mom is giving me the worst run-around over what should be the most simplest divorce.

My ex and I were together for 3 months married before I left him, and when I did he got out of the navy and returned to texas. Even though there was no animosity between us, he felt it necessary to remove all my ways of contacting him. All I had was his parent's address.

So, 3 years later and still no word, I decide to file for divorce papers, but I can't find any way to contact him, so I write to his mother quite recently to ask his address.

First she tells me: "Your marriage was void, he's been married since February. Carry on with your life!"

So then she tells me the next day, "Oh actuallyt he marriage wasn't void, send me the divorce papers. I'll have him sign them."

I told her no, I needed his address, so I could have them properly served. She kept refusing to give me his address and now has told me he's NOT married, and that if I want a divorce I have to go through her. (lol)

So my question is: What am I allowed to do to get his address from her?
If I call their local sheriff, would they be able to get it? Or should I just serve him through a publication? I do not have the money for hassles, and honestly our divorce should be one of the more simple ones, since we have no kids and no debts or anything owned together.

Thanks~

[CourtClerk]

She is under no obligation to give you any information that she doesn't want to freely give.

If you can't find him on your own, then serve him by publication.

[Perhonen]

Lmao, hey, don't laugh at my frustration! xD And alright, I guess publication it is!

[MFinancier]

Originally Posted by Perhonen

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My ex's mom is giving me the worst run-around over what should be the most simplest divorce.

My ex and I were together for 3 months married before I left him.....

So, 3 years later and still no word, I decide to file for divorce papers

So my question is: What am I allowed to do to get his address from her?
If I call their local sheriff, would they be able to get it? Or should I just serve him through a publication? I do not have the money for hassles, and honestly our divorce should be one of the more simple ones, since we have no kids and no debts or anything owned together.

Thanks~

I'll leave the service question to the seniors...but I strongly suggest you just make sure that there is no additional credit card debt or joint taxes that are still outstanding, were not handled correctly while you were together or accumlated after you separated and could be related to the community enterprise. You are still legally married and you haven't filed a petition yet. In all likely hood everything from the point you separated will be considered separate...but you never know! Check your credit report and get a copy of any joint return. For tax purposes you are considered married for the full year in which you were first married. Make sure you have all the usual financial disclaimers in your final decree to protect yourself as much as possible.

[Farfalla]

Originally Posted by Perhonen

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
My ex's mom is giving me the worst run-around over what should be the most simplest divorce.

As others have explained, she has no obligation to you of any kind. You can probably find him easily even without a PI. It’s pretty easy these days. Try some of the people search places on the internet. Once you have found him, look him up in the state and county public records. You just might find his new marriage there if there is one. But most of all you will know where to have him served.

Originally Posted by Perhonen

My ex and I were together for 3 months married before I left him, and when I did he got out of the navy and returned to Texas. Even though there was no animosity between us, he felt it necessary to remove all my ways of contacting him. All I had was his parent's address.

Leaving someone is usually considered a form of animosity. Sounds like he was deployed at the time you left him.

Originally Posted by Perhonen

First she tells me: "Your marriage was void, he's been married since February. Carry on with your life
So then she tells me the next day, "Oh actuallyt he marriage wasn't void, send me the divorce papers. I'll have him sign them."
!"

LOL…. Marriages do not become ‘void’. Sounds like he’s been lying to her and maybe to another woman who he’s entered into a bigamous marriage with. Whatever you do, DO NOT, give his mother papers for him to sign. No telling what will happen with that.

Originally Posted by Perhonen

I told her no, I needed his address, so I could have them properly served. She kept refusing to give me his address and now has told me he's NOT married, and that if I want a divorce I have to go through her. (lol)

HA!!!! So now he wants you to divorce his mother? (I know, not exactly, but that’s what it sounds like. He just does not want his new wife to find out that they are not really married and that he’s been lying. Nice… he wants you and his mother to help him cover his lie. (I’m jaded as I’ve seen this before.)

Originally Posted by Perhonen

So my question is: What am I allowed to do to get his address from her?
If I call their local sheriff, would they be able to get it? Or should I just serve him through a publication? I do not have the money for hassles, and honestly our divorce should be one of the more simple ones, since we have no kids and no debts or anything owned together.

Thanks~

Actually community property laws probably still apply. But it does sound like neither of you are interested in pursuing this. If he dies before the divorce is final, you are still his surviving spouse. We are involved in a similar case in Florida right now… my FIL passed on… my MIL is his surviving spouse despite his bigamous marriage. The case is just getting going. We are aware of another such case in FL from a few years ago.

Others have suggested that you publish. That might be the way to go. But it actually might not be that hard to find him using tools easily available today. Serving him is the best case… his signature means that he can never come back and make claims of an invalid divorce when you could have easily found him…. Like when you win the lottery. lol