An X that gets away with everything!

[mdebra]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

I have been divorced for two years. My divorce decree has certain stipulations and judgements in it as do all divorces.
My X was ordered to pay support that was in arrears, he was ordered to pay child support on a monthly basis, he was ordered to pay certain debts , I was ordered to pay certain debts, and it was so ordered that the marriage was dissolved.

I have two questions. My X has not been made to do or follow thru with one single thing that the divorce said. I have not receive one cent. So I'm curious, since the courts don't seem to care anything about what the divorce states then am I really divorced? I do not mean for this to sound sarcastic but it just seems to me that the divorce decree isn't worth the paper it is written on.

My other question is this. I suddenly received a notice that I was being taken to court for one of the debts that HE was ordered to pay. I have already been forced to pay for most everything else just in order to live my life and raise my two children. For instance old utility bills. You can't get new service if old bills aren't paid. There is no way I can afford to pay for this debt I'm being taken to court for. I just barely can make my bills now. I need to find out if I have any recourse at all because I don't know how I'm going to pay this. I also can't afford any more attorneys.

 

[BethM]

Have you taken him back to court for contempt of court? When I was divorced an elderly friend of mine told me that all I had was a promise on a piece of paper. I found out very quickly that he was right. My ex had defied every aspect of our divorce decree. I have found that the court system does care though and it's up to me to bring it to their attention that my ex is not doing as he is court ordered to do.

You need to file a petition for contempt, list all areas in which he is in contempt and then let him explain to a judge why he doesn't feel the need to follow through. Once you have a petition before the courts for contempt on the debts and other issues you can show up in court on the debt issue with your divorce decree that states he is to pay and proof that you are taking him back to court for contempt. I've had creditors strike my name from the debt once they are made aware of the situation.

Bottom line, if you allow him to get away with refusing to follow the decree he will. If you show him you will hold him responsible by taking him to court you might make a believer out of him. Good luck!

 

[Ambr]

Do not ignore the notice that you are being taken back to court over a debt that he was ordered to pay.

From my personal experience - my divorce was in Missouri - my ex didn't pay the bills that he was "ordered" to paid in the divorce decree. The companies came after me. I faxed a copy of my divorce decree to the companies. I got lucky with a couple of them, they didn't pursue it after that. But the rest did. I was sued. The Judge explained it this way --- and if I got screwed on the deal, it wouldn't shock me --- the company wasn't present during the divorce and did not agree to any stipulations decided by the courts. The debt was in both of our names, we were both "liable" for the debt. Regardless that a divorce judge found him responsible for the debt. The company couldnt collect from him, they saw that I was paying off bills and they came after the only chance they had to collect. I ended up paying the bill because after the company got their judgement I had no other way out.

You might try talking with the companies. By the time it usually gets to court cases for breech of contract, or something similiar, it has usually been sold to collection agencies. Most will take a reduced payment (just to get something) and will take payments on it. And you might stand a chance to fight it off.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

I have been divorced for two years. My divorce decree has certain stipulations and judgements in it as do all divorces.
My X was ordered to pay support that was in arrears, he was ordered to pay child support on a monthly basis, he was ordered to pay certain debts , I was ordered to pay certain debts, and it was so ordered that the marriage was dissolved.

I have two questions. My X has not been made to do or follow thru with one single thing that the divorce said. I have not receive one cent. So I'm curious, since the courts don't seem to care anything about what the divorce states then am I really divorced? I do not mean for this to sound sarcastic but it just seems to me that the divorce decree isn't worth the paper it is written on.

My other question is this. I suddenly received a notice that I was being taken to court for one of the debts that HE was ordered to pay. I have already been forced to pay for most everything else just in order to live my life and raise my two children. For instance old utility bills. You can't get new service if old bills aren't paid. There is no way I can afford to pay for this debt I'm being taken to court for. I just barely can make my bills now. I need to find out if I have any recourse at all because I don't know how I'm going to pay this. I also can't afford any more attorneys.

You don't seem to understand how it works. If your ex doesn't follow what's in the order, the only way the court knows about it is if YOU tell it via a contempt filing.

As for debts - if the debts are in both your names, the creditors are not bound by your divorce order. You are also liable for the debt and its repayment. What you CAN do is (a) file against him for contempt and/or (b) file against him in Small Claims court to get a judgement against him for the money you had to pay to settle the debt. You don't get to just wave your divorce order in the creditor's face and say "not my problem!"

YOU have to be proactive. The court has neither the time nor the inclination to make sure that every divorced person follows the orders. If you don't bring it to the court's attention - nothing's going to happen.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Sounds like a whine fest going on. You and stealth should get along great

I'll bring the cheese