abuse of process?

[luna316]

Riverside county, California
Re: boyfriends situation. He has a past with x wife of 13 years. All ended in 2006 with jail then

prison all DV claims from spite. Heard stories about the lies and manipulations on how his x

Used the system to her favor. Fast forward today. Aug 2009 mom left 3 minors with a known

Drug abuser. Her 17 year old son over dosed. Police & emt's show up. Call mom tell her

to pick up her 4 and 10 year old. She refuses. Also refuses to give info for their dad. They

go to foster care for 3 months. When we heard what happened we called the county. We

got supervised visits a 5 hour round trip drive for us we did weekly. Mom gets custody

back. She now has a social worker. Wrap around team. Parent partner. You name it. We

get unsupervised visits eventually. Then over nights. That's when trouble started. Mom

demanded to see docket minutes to prove over nights were allowed. Then after first

weekend. Mom tells worker kids cried all night. Next visit she claims they didn't want to

come. Despite kids telling worker they love being here. One weekend we were in the

desert no one or anything around. Dad let's lil guy drive on his lap on the dirt.

Next thing we know a child abuse case was called. Mom didn't go to her worker. She

Called the hotline. A TDM meeting was called to address animosity with mom and

Vindictive actions towards dad. Since that meeting its got worse. Mom mentally twists

The kids minds. The county makes excuse after excuse. Kids come to us dirty, unkept

And.Improperly packed. Once sent with molded swim suits still in the same bag we sent

them home In 2 weeks earlier. County says 'not our issue. We are closing the cps case in

Dec with 50/50 custody. Hash it out in family court then' then 3 weeks ago a social worker

shows up at my door. Mom filed a abuse case with the hotline. Of course all these calls

are confidential so its not proven its her. now its claimed my boyfriend beat me the

weekend the kids were last here. She claimed the kids came home with bruises. Because

I have a 15 year old daughter my home is investigated for her safety. I live in Orange

county. OC worker investigates .sees its a vindictive mom. Closes unfounded. We

have already missed one visit till investigation was closed. Last Thursday social worker

calls. Says everything is set for visit this weekend. They say mom tried to get a tro but it

was nullified. After several calls the worker made to us and mom. It's set that we will

drive the 5 hours round trip to get the kids at a fast food joint. Social worker says if she's

not there to have police call child abuse hotline where its documented we are to have

the kids. We arrive to be met by the police and given a TRO. Mom knew what she was

doing just 24 earlier the meet time and place was given to both parties thru cps. She

could've told her worker she had this TRO. Before having us drive out there. Part of

me wonders if cps did know. Of course its the weekend so we can't talk to anyone.

Mom deleted their daughters Facebook page dad made .deactivated the email he made

for daughter. Set up a new page. Blocked dad. All vindictive acts. I don't understand how

she got this order. She wasn't scared of him on 4th of July when she came to our house

with the kids for bbq and swimming. Not scared when mom asked.dad to come in her

home to put kids beds together. This fear didn't start till over nights came up. We are

told kids never said they were subject to abuse. But stories on were bruises came from

are inconsistent. 5 year old says he fell off the bed or the couch. Never abuse though.

Surely he's 5 he's gonna have a bruise or 2. Not to mention we took them kayaking

when they were here. Everything she's saying is lies. Kids can't keep a straight story cuz they can't remember everything mom says to say. None of this is considered. Kids told us mom threatens that they will go back to foster care if they don't do as she says. But I think the mental abuse on the kids and fear they'll do what mom says. Can we sue mom for abuse of process with false abuse claims and now this tro all In an attempt to keep and delete dad from their lives. Cps doesn't seem to care. They believe all her lies and back up her excuses. Guess removing the kids is too.much paper work. Easier to just utilize the services they already have in place. It kills me to see him hurt and screwed over so much.

 

[Just Blue]

Riverside county, California

Long story short.... dating a guy 18 months. He was honest of his past. Jail prison all DV claims from soon to be x wife. What matters to me is who he is today with me. Heard stories about the lies and manipulations his x used to use the system to her favor. Didn't think anyone could have the system in their pocket so much till now. His last conviction was 2006 did his year. Moved on fast forward today. Aug 2009 she left 3 minors with a known drug abuser. Her 17 year old son over dosed. Cops and ambulances show up. Call mom tell her to pick up her 4 and 10 year old. She refuses. Also refuses to give info for their dad. They go to foster care for 3 months. Though we live 2 1/2 hours away. 5 hours round trip we made every supervised visit each week. When we heard what happened we called the county. We got supervised visits as did mom. She gets custody back .has social worker. Wrap around team. Parent partner. You name it. We get unsupervised visits eventually. Then over nights. That's when trouble started. Mom demanded to see.docket.minutes to prove over nights were allowed. Then after first weekend. Mom tells worker kids cried all night. Next visit she claims they didn't want to come. Despite kids telling worker they love being here. One weekend we were in the desert no one or anything around. Dad let's lil guy drive on his lap on the dirt .maybe 1 city block. Next thing we know a child abuse case was called. Mom didn't go to her worker. She Called the hotline. A TDM meeting was called to address animosity.with mom and dad. Well moms animosity but to not pin it on one person. Since that meeting its got worse. Mom mentally twists the kids minds. The county makes excuse after excuse. Kids come to us dirty .unkept .improperly packed. Once sent with molded swim suits still in the same bag we sent them home In 2 weeks earlier. County says 'not our issue. We are closing the cps case in Dec with 50/50 custody. Hash it out in family court then' then 3 weeks ago a social worker shows up at my door. She filed a abuse case with the hotline. Of course all these calls are confidential so its not proven its her. Yeah right .so now its claimed my boyfriend beat me the weekend the kids were last here. She claimed the kids came home with bruises. Because I have a 15 year old daughter my home is investigated for her safety. Well I live in Orange county. So oc worker investigates .sees its a vindictive mom. Closes unfounded. We have already missed one visit till it was investigated. So last Thursday social worker calls. Says everything is set for visit this weekend. They say mom tried to get a tro but it was nullified. After several calls the worker made to us and mom. It's set that we will drive the 5 hours round trip to get the kids at a fast food joint were she was having a friend take her and the kids. Social worker says if she's not there to have police call child abuse hotline where its documented we are to have the kids. We arrive to be met by the police and given a tro. Mom knew what she was doing just 24 earlier the meet time and place was given to both parties thru cps. She could've told her worker she had this tro. Before having us drive out there. Part of me wonders if cps did know. Of course its the weekend so we can't talk to anyone. Mom deleted their daughters Facebook page dad made .deactivated the email he made for daughter. Set up a new page. Blocked dad. I don't understand how she got this order. She wasn't scared of him on 4th of July when she came to our house with the kids for bbq and swimming. Not scared when mom asked.dad to come in her home to put kids beds together .nope this fear didn't start till over nights came up. We are told kids never said they were subject to abuse. But stories on were bruises came from are inconsistent. 5 year old says he fell off the bed or the couch. Never abuse though. Surely he's 5 he's gonna have a bruise or 2. Not to mention we took.them kayaking when they were here. Everything she's saying is lies. Kids can't keep a straight story cuz they can't remember everything mom says to say. None of this is considered. Kids told us mom threatens that they will go back to foster care if they don't do as she says. But I think the mental abuse on the kids and fear they'll do what mom says. Can we sue mom for abuse of process with false abuse claims and now this tro all In an attempt to keep and delete dad from their lives. Cps doesn't seem to care. They believe all her lies and back up her excuses. Guess removing the kids is too.much paper work. Easier to just utilize the services they already have in place. It kills me to see him hurt and screwed over so much.

Could you please edit your post to include some "white space" so that your opening post is easier to read?

Thanks...

Blue

 

[mistoffolees]

Could you please edit your post to include some "white space" so that your opening post is easier to read?

Thanks...

Blue

And eliminate all the irrelevancies. Just the relevant facts.

 

[CdwJava]

This was hard to read, so I am not sure I got all of it.

the gist of what I got is that two parents seem to be unable to get along, and even the state agencies responsible for child issues cannot sort out what is going on and who is the bad guy. That tells me that things may not be as clean cut as you'd like to think.

If the children's father wants to fight for custody, he would be best advised to hire an attorney to present the best possible case. About the only thing he can do at this point is to fight for custody.

 

[luna316]

BTW we can't afford an attorney and the court appointed one thru cps acts like everytime we go to family court its the first time he's seen the case. I've never seen such a vindictive person. She really doesn't want dad in their lives. To the point the 5 year calls his dad by his first name. Saying mom says to call him that and his dad is moms boyfriend who's been in prison the last year and has another year to go. Mom shoves her felon of a boyfriend down these kids throats. Puts photos of him on their bedroom walls. Made boyfriend a Facebook page. Deleted dad but put boyfriend as a friend. The mental abuse goes on and on. It seems like if social services admits mom is in the wrong then they look bad. This woman has some service in her home 6 days a week min 4 hours a day to teach her how to parent. Our home is safe. Clean and only cps I've been involved in was when I took my brothers in as relative placement for 10 years. Yes my boyfriend has a dv history. Its also all claims made by his x. Never anyone else. The final one that sent him to prison was he moved out and in with another woman. She said the kids will never be around another woman and if she can't have him. She will make sure no one does .and she did. There has to be something we can do. How much more mental abuse do the kids need to see? The social worker told us Thursday night the kids keep asking when they can see dad and were excited about seeing him last night. So what are these kids being told as to why dad doesn't see them anymore?

 

[Just Blue]

Please edit your post so that the KIND VOLUNTEER MEMBERS of this site do not get a headache trying to read it.

Thanks!

Blue

 

[CdwJava]

BTW we can't afford an attorney and the court appointed one thru cps acts like everytime we go to family court its the first time he's seen the case.

That attorney is likely representing the welfare of the children, not either of the parents. And they likely have so many cases that they do not always recall the details of each one without review.

It seems like if social services admits mom is in the wrong then they look bad. This woman has some service in her home 6 days a week min 4 hours a day to teach her how to parent.

Okay. Mom is behaving badly. That does not automatically give the state grounds to take visitation or custody from her. It is but one factor in the equation.

Our home is safe. Clean and only cps I've been involved in was when I took my brothers in as relative placement for 10 years. Yes my boyfriend has a dv history. Its also all claims made by his x. Never anyone else.

I suspect that DV history is sufficient to give CPS reason to be suspicious.

The social worker told us Thursday night the kids keep asking when they can see dad and were excited about seeing him last night. So what are these kids being told as to why dad doesn't see them anymore?

No one here can answer that question.

Unless dad can get the money for an attorney, this situation could be mulled around for a very long time. Clearly there are issues that look bad for both sides, but not sufficient to remove the children from mom's custody.

Does dad have at least supervised visitation? Has he asked?

 

[Just Blue]

FYI: Carl is an EXTRA kind member of this site.

Blue "waves to Carl"...

 

[stealth2]

Riverside county, California

Long story short.... dating a guy 18 months. He was honest of his past. Jail prison all DV claims from soon to be x wife. What matters to me is who he is today with me. Heard stories about the lies and manipulations his x used to use the system to her favor. Didn't think anyone could have the system in their pocket so much till now. His last conviction was 2006 did his year. Moved on fast forward today. Aug 2009 she left 3 minors with a known drug abuser. Her 17 year old son over dosed. Cops and ambulances show up. Call mom tell her to pick up her 4 and 10 year old. She refuses. Also refuses to give info for their dad. They go to foster care for 3 months. Though we live 2 1/2 hours away. 5 hours round trip we made every supervised visit each week. When we heard what happened we called the county. We got supervised visits as did mom. She gets custody back .has social worker. Wrap around team. Parent partner. You name it. We get unsupervised visits eventually. Then over nights. That's when trouble started. Mom demanded to see.docket.minutes to prove over nights were allowed. Then after first weekend. Mom tells worker kids cried all night. Next visit she claims they didn't want to come. Despite kids telling worker they love being here. One weekend we were in the desert no one or anything around. Dad let's lil guy drive on his lap on the dirt .maybe 1 city block. Next thing we know a child abuse case was called. Mom didn't go to her worker. She Called the hotline. A TDM meeting was called to address animosity.with mom and dad. Well moms animosity but to not pin it on one person. Since that meeting its got worse. Mom mentally twists the kids minds. The county makes excuse after excuse. Kids come to us dirty .unkept .improperly packed. Once sent with molded swim suits still in the same bag we sent them home In 2 weeks earlier. County says 'not our issue. We are closing the cps case in Dec with 50/50 custody. Hash it out in family court then' then 3 weeks ago a social worker shows up at my door. She filed a abuse case with the hotline. Of course all these calls are confidential so its not proven its her. Yeah right .so now its claimed my boyfriend beat me the weekend the kids were last here. She claimed the kids came home with bruises. Because I have a 15 year old daughter my home is investigated for her safety. Well I live in Orange county. So oc worker investigates .sees its a vindictive mom. Closes unfounded. We have already missed one visit till it was investigated. So last Thursday social worker calls. Says everything is set for visit this weekend. They say mom tried to get a tro but it was nullified. After several calls the worker made to us and mom. It's set that we will drive the 5 hours round trip to get the kids at a fast food joint were she was having a friend take her and the kids. Social worker says if she's not there to have police call child abuse hotline where its documented we are to have the kids. We arrive to be met by the police and given a tro. Mom knew what she was doing just 24 earlier the meet time and place was given to both parties thru cps. She could've told her worker she had this tro. Before having us drive out there. Part of me wonders if cps did know. Of course its the weekend so we can't talk to anyone. Mom deleted their daughters Facebook page dad made .deactivated the email he made for daughter. Set up a new page. Blocked dad. I don't understand how she got this order. She wasn't scared of him on 4th of July when she came to our house with the kids for bbq and swimming. Not scared when mom asked.dad to come in her home to put kids beds together .nope this fear didn't start till over nights came up. We are told kids never said they were subject to abuse. But stories on were bruises came from are inconsistent. 5 year old says he fell off the bed or the couch. Never abuse though. Surely he's 5 he's gonna have a bruise or 2. Not to mention we took.them kayaking when they were here. Everything she's saying is lies. Kids can't keep a straight story cuz they can't remember everything mom says to say. None of this is considered. Kids told us mom threatens that they will go back to foster care if they don't do as she says. But I think the mental abuse on the kids and fear they'll do what mom says. Can we sue mom for abuse of process with false abuse claims and now this tro all In an attempt to keep and delete dad from their lives. Cps doesn't seem to care. They believe all her lies and back up her excuses. Guess removing the kids is too.much paper work. Easier to just utilize the services they already have in place. It kills me to see him hurt and screwed over so much.

BTW we can't afford an attorney and the court appointed one thru cps acts like everytime we go to family court its the first time he's seen the case. I've never seen such a vindictive person. She really doesn't want dad in their lives. To the point the 5 year calls his dad by his first name. Saying mom says to call him that and his dad is moms boyfriend who's been in prison the last year and has another year to go. Mom shoves her felon of a boyfriend down these kids throats. Puts photos of him on their bedroom walls. Made boyfriend a Facebook page. Deleted dad but put boyfriend as a friend. The mental abuse goes on and on. It seems like if social services admits mom is in the wrong then they look bad. This woman has some service in her home 6 days a week min 4 hours a day to teach her how to parent. Our home is safe. Clean and only cps I've been involved in was when I took my brothers in as relative placement for 10 years. Yes my boyfriend has a dv history. Its also all claims made by his x. Never anyone else. The final one that sent him to prison was he moved out and in with another woman. She said the kids will never be around another woman and if she can't have him. She will make sure no one does .and she did. There has to be something we can do. How much more mental abuse do the kids need to see? The social worker told us Thursday night the kids keep asking when they can see dad and were excited about seeing him last night. So what are these kids being told as to why dad doesn't see them anymore?

Do you understand what "white space" means?

 

[luna316]

Thank you for the advice. This is my first post. Using my phone. Dad has unsupervised weekends. That's the issue. Mom doesn't want dad in the kids life. Her sure fire way to hurt him. She has a new guy to play daddy. She's using.the courts with lies to keep him from the kids .each a stall tactic to stop each visit. Can we take her to court for abuse of process?

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you for the advice. This is my first post. Using my phone. Dad has unsupervised weekends. That's the issue. Mom doesn't want dad in the kids life. Her sure fire way to hurt him. She has a new guy to play daddy. She's using.the courts with lies to keep him from the kids .each a stall tactic to stop each visit. Can we take her to court for abuse of process?

Look. People here are volunteers. Your rambling, run-on post is difficult to reed. This post is shorter, but no more clear.

Start over. Write your relevant facts (no one wants a long, rambling history and it probably doesn't matter, anyway) and then your question. Pretend you're in English class and write in complete sentences and paragraphs where each sentence has a subject and predicate and contains one (and only one) complete thought. Groups of related thoughts go into a paragraph.

Then, if you can present your story in something that is understandable, people can help.

(Hint: white space doesn't mean adding a blank line between every line. It means breaking a long, run-on story into paragraphs).

 

[stealth2]

BTW we can't afford an attorney and the court appointed one thru cps acts like everytime we go to family court its the first time he's seen the case. I've never seen such a vindictive person. She really doesn't want dad in their lives. To the point the 5 year calls his dad by his first name. Saying mom says to call him that and his dad is moms boyfriend who's been in prison the last year and has another year to go. Mom shoves her felon of a boyfriend down these kids throats. Puts photos of him on their bedroom walls. Made boyfriend a Facebook page. Deleted dad but put boyfriend as a friend. The mental abuse goes on and on. It seems like if social services admits mom is in the wrong then they look bad. This woman has some service in her home 6 days a week min 4 hours a day to teach her how to parent. Our home is safe. Clean and only cps I've been involved in was when I took my brothers in as relative placement for 10 years. Yes my boyfriend has a dv history. Its also all claims made by his x. Never anyone else. The final one that sent him to prison was he moved out and in with another woman. She said the kids will never be around another woman and if she can't have him. She will make sure no one does .and she did. There has to be something we can do. How much more mental abuse do the kids need to see? The social worker told us Thursday night the kids keep asking when they can see dad and were excited about seeing him last night. So what are these kids being told as to why dad doesn't see them anymore?

Thank you for the advice. This is my first post. Using my phone. Dad has unsupervised weekends. That's the issue. Mom doesn't want dad in the kids life. Her sure fire way to hurt him. She has a new guy to play daddy. She's using.the courts with lies to keep him from the kids .each a stall tactic to stop each visit. Can we take her to court for abuse of process?

No, there is nothing "we" can do. Only Dad - you are no more relevant than Mom's b/f. And frankly, complaining about his involvement makes you come off as hypocritical.

 

[luna316]

Sorry for the 'we' aspect. I guess when my home is being investigated. My rights as a fit parent are under fire based on her lies of abuse I'm my home and the county asks that I not only attend all TDM meetings but be there for the 5 round trip drive. The only thing her boyfriend has done is spend a few months with her before having her leave the kids with his drug friend then spending the last year in prison. So I sorry if I feel like my bf and I are a team on this. Our roles are to support each other.

I was hoping info on all her tactics would show malicious actions on her part. Giving better advice to is abuse of process applied. Several cps calls. Tro. All tactics to stop his visits.

 

[stealth2]

Sorry for the 'we' aspect. I guess when my home is being investigated. My rights as a fit parent are under fire based on her lies of abuse I'm my home and the county asks that I not only attend all TDM meetings but be there for the 5 round trip drive. The only thing her boyfriend has done is spend a few months with her before having her leave the kids with his drug friend then spending the last year in prison. So I sorry if I feel like my bf and I are a team on this. Our roles are to support each other.

And that does NOT give you any legal rights. Only DAD can do something. The fact that you're here and he's not speaks volumes. Support him all you want. But hold his feet to the fire to grow a pair and do some legwork himself.

 

[CdwJava]

Thank you for the advice. This is my first post. Using my phone. Dad has unsupervised weekends. That's the issue. Mom doesn't want dad in the kids life. Her sure fire way to hurt him. She has a new guy to play daddy. She's using.the courts with lies to keep him from the kids .each a stall tactic to stop each visit. Can we take her to court for abuse of process?

Can your boyfriend PROVE that she is falsifying documents, lying to the court, or doing anything to UNLAWFULLY punish him through the court process? My gut tells me he cannot do that. But, he is free to consult an attorney and ask what he or she thinks. Understand that an attorney will want money for a lawsuit, so if he does not have money for an attorney to fight over custody, how will he get the money to initiate a lawsuit?