Abuser contacted my sister while no contact order is active

[ballerina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Virginia
(Updated with end result on my last post.)
I have a no contact order against my ex. It was recently amended to only allow for the custody and visitation order which states he still is to have no contact with me and all supervised visitation is to be arranged by me and the grandparents who supervise. On the order is states word for word that he shall have no contact of any kind with the petitioner's family or household members. The definition of family on the protection order includes sister, regardless of whether they live in the home. He contacted my sister.
The way it is worded makes it sound as if it means family, period.
I contacted the police and they stated that mother or father counts, but sister doesn't. And it would if she was in the home.
That didn't sound right so I checked the definition on the paper, saw it specifically stated it didn't matter if she lived in the home, contacted them again and was pretty much told I was wasting their time.

I'm going to the magistrate tomorrow, I'm just confused as to why the protection order specifically defines family and goes out of it's way to say he should have no contact with my family. They are acting like every person must be listed on the protection order. How would that protect my family, that doesn't live with me, from being harassed?

Any advice?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Virginia

I have a no contact order against my ex. It was recently amended to only allow for the custody and visitation order which states he still is to have no contact with me and all supervised visitation is to be arranged by me and the grandparents who supervise. On the order is states word for word that he shall have no contact of any kind with the petitioner's family or household members. The definition of family on the protection order includes sister, regardless of whether they live in the home. He contacted my sister.
The way it is worded makes it sound as if it means family, period.
I contacted the police and they stated that mother or father counts, but sister doesn't. And it would if she was in the home.
That didn't sound right so I checked the definition on the paper, saw it specifically stated it didn't matter if she lived in the home, contacted them again and was pretty much told I was wasting their time.

I'm going to the magistrate tomorrow, I'm just confused as to why the protection order specifically defines family and goes out of it's way to say he should have no contact with my family. They are acting like every person must be listed on the protection order. How would that protect my family, that doesn't live with me, from being harassed?

Any advice?

You can request to have your sister, and any other family member who you think may be harassed by your ex, specifically added by name to the no-contact order, whether they are "household" members of the family or not.

 

[Zigner]

In my state, that order wouldn't be enforceable on your sister's behalf - your sister would need to apply for her own protective order if she is being harassed, unless the other party was trying to use your sister as an intermediary to contact you, in which case, it doesn't matter whether she's mentioned or not since the other party would still be attempting to contact you which violates the order.

 

[Ohiogal]

Are you an attorney? If not, why do you believe you have the right to speak on behalf of your sister (who doesn't live with you) in court?

 

[ballerina]

Are you an attorney? If not, why do you believe you have the right to speak on behalf of your sister (who doesn't live with you) in court?

She contacted me to let me know he contacted her. She also provided a letter and her contact info regarding the situation. The protective order stated he shouldn't contact my family with the definition of family on the protection order including sisters that didn't live with me. It specifcally states sister.
I'm not speaking on behalf of her, I'm simply saying that if it says do not contact my family I would assume contacting my sister is a violation.

 

[ballerina]

In my state, that order wouldn't be enforceable on your sister's behalf - your sister would need to apply for her own protective order if she is being harassed, unless the other party was trying to use your sister as an intermediary to contact you, in which case, it doesn't matter whether she's mentioned or not since the other party would still be attempting to contact you which violates the order.

I understand. I thought that since it said "no contact of any kind with the family" that it wouldn't be only attempts at third party contact.

 

[Zigner]

She contacted me to let me know he contacted her. She also provided a letter and her contact info regarding the situation. The protective order stated he shouldn't contact my family with the definition of family on the protection order including sisters that didn't live with me. It specifcally states sister.
I'm not speaking on behalf of her, I'm simply saying that if it says do not contact my family I would assume contacting my sister is a violation.

I suspect that you are misunderstanding what your order actually means. He didn't try to contact you through your sister. Your sister needs to apply for her own no contact order.

 

[quincy]

She contacted me to let me know he contacted her. She also provided a letter and her contact info regarding the situation. The protective order stated he shouldn't contact my family with the definition of family on the protection order including sisters that didn't live with me. It specifcally states sister.
I'm not speaking on behalf of her, I'm simply saying that if it says do not contact my family I would assume contacting my sister is a violation.

Was your sister under the impression that she was included in the no-contact order and was it her desire to be included?

I admit I assumed with your first post that your sister assumed she was part of the no-contact order and did not expect to be contacted by your ex.

 

[Zigner]

I must apologize - this is when it's important to be mindful of differences between the states:

https://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/protectiveordersguide.pdf

Your sister CAN be covered by your protective order if the judge so orders it. You may point out to the judge that he contacted her, but it will likely be necessary for her to actually testify to this, not just write a letter.

 

[Zigner]

Was your sister under the impression that she was included in the no-contact order and was it her desire to be included?

I admit I assumed with your first post that your sister assumed she was part of the no-contact order and did not expect to be contacted by your ex.

The OP says that the sister was included and the sister is a covered family member regardless of residence.

 

[ballerina]

Was your sister under the impression that she was included in the no-contact order and was it her desire to be included?

I admit I assumed with your first post that your sister assumed she was part of the no-contact order and did not expect to be contacted by your ex.

Yes my family assumed that since it stated he shouldn't have contact of any kind with my family that any intentional contact with my family members would count as a violation. Especially since it's defined on the protective order who counts as family. She's since told him to leave her alone entirely and blocked him on the website he contacted her on.

 

[quincy]

The OP says that the sister was included and the sister is a covered family member regardless of residence.

Right. That is what I understood from the first post.

The only question I had was whether the use of the word "household" members in the order could potentially preclude the sister if the sister was not specifically named.

Thank you for the clarification, ballerina.

 

[ballerina]

I must apologize - this is when it's important to be mindful of differences between the states:

https://www.dcjs.virginia.gov/victims/documents/protectiveordersguide.pdf

Your sister CAN be covered by your protective order if the judge so orders it. You may point out to the judge that he contacted her, but it will likely be necessary for her to actually testify to this, not just write a letter.

Its okay, the way states handle protection orders are different. I'll be seeing a magistrate tomorrow, I'm just curious if anyone has experience with this sort of situation. It's a family abuse protection order with him already having multiple violations so that may be why the order includes my family as well.

 

[quincy]

Its okay, the way states handle protection orders are different. I'll be seeing a magistrate tomorrow, I'm just curious if anyone has experience with this sort of situation. It's a family abuse protection order with him already having multiple violations so that may be why the order includes my family as well.

You might want to have the family members who are under the no-contact order specifically named in the order so that it will not lead to misunderstanding should one of the family members contact the police for enforcement.

 

[Just Blue]

Its okay, the way states handle protection orders are different. I'll be seeing a magistrate tomorrow, I'm just curious if anyone has experience with this sort of situation. It's a family abuse protection order with him already having multiple violations so that may be why the order includes my family as well.

Curious. What did the ex talk to your sister about? I ask this because if he was attempting to "pass a comment" to you...That may be a violation of the RO as well.